The Useless Critic 2.0

I really do like them so much.  So I know on Facebook several days ago I said I'd review the album then a thousand times. I did not. Weekdays - I have no energy and my only time to write is the window before I go to work in the morning. Even this is getting increasingly harder. Perhaps I'm just getting old- I will be 25 in a month-ish.  Let me reprimand that now, my loyal legion of Russian spambot friends. Merry St. Eastervas (p.s. "Zombie Jesus Day"  makes no sense, but we won't even start discussing that).  "The 20/20 Experience" was the first Justin Timberlake album I was legitimately excited for. Really. I became a fan in 2007, although I always liked "Rock Your Body," weird music video and all. It was the song "What Goes Around" that really enamored me with JT. I was really bitter and depressed at the time and I recall listening to the song on repeat while I walked around the Edinboro campus, coming up with reasons t...

I'm borrowing Rebecca's voice for this blog. Yes, Justin Bieber I'm calling you out.  No longer a lesbian; now the white answer to Grace Jones. Please. Go away. At this point, I would take James Franco ("Spring Breakers" and all) over you.  Or at least take a break and say it's for "spiritual reasons."  I can't take you, your monkey, your drugs or your unneighborly ways in my Google news anymore.  Do you know who you could become? Yup.

Song of the Day I have quite the history with this song. Happy Saturday!

Have you guys heard the exciting news? CBS has officially renewed 2 Broke Girls for a third season! Well, not that there's any reason to be surprised, but that doesn't make me less ecstatic to know that my favorite sitcom will be returning next season. SHANTAY, YOU STAY Now back to the recap. Caroline wakes up at night to the rather unpleasant sound of Oleg and Sophie having sex upstairs. Max comes out of her room with sponges covering her ears and a bottle of booze. "This couldn't be any more intrusive!" Caroline complains. All of a sudden, Oleg's leg comes through the ceiling, followed by a bowling ball. "Why do they need a bowling ball?!" Caroline asks. "Maybe they ran out of holes," Max replies. Han asks Max where Caroline is, as she is 20 minutes late. When she finally turns up, she explains that she had to take a nap because Oleg and Sophie's sex-a-thon kept her up all night. Han insists that punctuality is important,...

Another reason to love "Golden Girls?" Marriage Equality:

Song of the Day This song will change your life, guyz.

Prince is touring. This is cool. It's Prince. We no longer have Michael, but we will always have Prince. He is apparently touring the west coast. And I REALLY mean that, because he's even going to Phoenix. Yup. FOUR shows are lined up. That is two more than Taylor Swift. He will be at the Marquee Theater (that is down the street from me) April 30th and May 1st. Tickets are really expensive so I might just sit outside the theater and perhaps I can meet the Man Who Was Once a Symbol by being my creepy self. Plus I have to get my BFL tickets still and I'm taking my girlfriend, who has never been to a secular concert. I guess Bat For Lashes is a good segway? I'm not super sure though. Here's Prince's complete list of stops.   In other news, do you know about Brooklyn Yeti? You should . <iframe width="640" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/_uDYwJXuZCM?feature=player_detailpage" frameborder="0" allo...

Song of the Day I so miss Annie. 

I know, our favorite sitcom has finally returned from a two-week hiatus and it took me this long to post this recap. Surprisingly, the only thing about me that is not late is my period (amen to dat). Anyway, I'm so sorry, I've just been really tired—and extra lazy—this week. Here's hoping I can make things up to you guys by offering this : No, it's not a mirage. Kat Dennings and Jessica Chastain really are together in the very same picture! I mean, not a big deal, just two of the most awesome people in the entire world. Okay, let's move on. Han tells Max to wait on a pretty girl that just entered the diner, before realizing she looks like a boy. "She's probably looking at you and thinking the same thing. But are you attracted to the girl she is or the boy she appears to be? You're confused, aren't you, Han?" Max mocks. Caroline shows up and says she will wait on her, but Max warns her that that's Tina the Turner (LOL), who is notorious...

Song of the Day Such a good song. Such a good EP, really. Her other stuff has been a little underwhelming, however.

  Girls Episode 10 Together Stop. Just stop. Let me explain where I’m coming from. I’m the kind of person that loves a good relationship drama. I’ve watched Queer as Folk (US and UK) and The L Word (even the atrocious final season). I watch romantic comedies that don’t actively insult my intelligence ( Celeste and Jesse Forever comes to mind). In certain parts of this episode, I felt like the show devolved into a sad parody of a Kate Hudson rom-com. Let’s just get to it, and we can say goodbye to this well-intentioned but seriously flawed finale.

Song of the Day/You Need to Hear This https://embed.spotify.com/?uri=spotify:track:3mifzFOmFzpPJF9XswX9nD " width="300" height="380" frameborder="0" allowtransparency="true"> Elias A. Bolander is an 18-year-old singer-songwriter from Gothenburg. His sound is very easy and calm, reminds me a little of a more interesting Johnathan Rice. And he sounds extremely mature for an 18-year-old. His EP, "Old Signs" is available on Spotify now. Check it out!

Song of the Day I know it's not Irish, but it sound like it. Happy St. Patty's Day! 

I have times where I can't sleep, just like every  other human.  I don't have that kind of ugly ass alarm clock. I do my celebrity gossip reading then. This week was particularly bad for me sleep-wise. So I decided to familarize myself with the Liam and Miley schism because that seemed important. Don't ask me how this happened. I don't have answers. I'm not even straight and this strikes me as wrong.  This young couple- full of brains, beauty and arguably talent -has hit the skids lately. Allegedly. This isn't the first time for these two. Aren't the best relationships built on tumult? I'm looking at YOU, Michelle Obama. Huh? That being said, I think we all know Miley Cyrus has gone INSANE in the past few years. I judge that based off her faux-Robyn haircut (bitch ain't no Robyn !) And she recently quoted Jeff Buckley on Twitter, which I found troubling. Now sources- I don't know who the fuck "sources" are- are s...

Song of the Day This has been out for a while, but oddly I just realized it. 

Kate Nash is a peculiar and wonderful kind of artist. When she debuted around 2007, she drew some unfair comparisons to Lily Allen, largely because their voices sounded similar (can’t imagine Allen belting out songs quite the way Nash does, though) and they were both MySpace sensations (ah, those were the days), and their songs dealt primarily with relationships. But where Allen’s songs were in a similar vein musically, Nash has always had the more vulnerable voice. Her songs echo private journal entries, and on Girl Talk , she takes that confessional aspect of her art and runs with it. (Not that I’m saying Allen isn’t a decent artist; she certainly is when she puts her mind to it. But give me Kate any damn day.) Where Nash’s Made of Bricks was exuberant and not a little bit naughty, and My Best Friend is You was more cathartic, a soul-baring brand of retro girl group punk rock, Girl Talk is an energetic middle-finger to failed relationships, fake friends, misogy...

Song of the Day BONUS- Lykke Li I'm a bit depleted today, so excuse my lack of goofy rhetoric. 

Girls Episode 9 On All Fours   This episode continues the trend of everyone making the best decisions possible. Okay, not really at all. Everyone makes the bad decisions at the worst possible time. It was brilliant to watch, and made me feel a bit better about my own life. Hannah counts and swabs, Marnie sings, Shosh continues to be Shosh, and Adam...well, you’ll see.

use your Cheerios to spell "hipster" I'm sitting with Smores trying to get a feel for the only album of 2013 (with the exception of Justin Timberlake's) I care about thus far. "Isles" dropped very recently and now it's on Spotify. Voila . So I'm streaming it. Pirating is for Somalis!  I have to say, so far so good. I was worried "Keep You" would be the only sustainable track. Not the case! There are a few goodies here. In fact, I'd say it's a solid debut with little to disappoint.  A Track-By-Track Breakdown: 1.) "Keep You"- unfortunately, this is by far the takeaway track. It's a winner, but it's so 2012 already! A 2.) "It's Too Late"- Just as addictive as the previous song. I like it a lot, it seems to me some 1960s-meets-1990 fusion going on. And there's some SASSITUDE. In my music, I like sassitude . A-  3.) "Shine"- Diamond Rings meets the Ting Tings? This track aggrav...

Earlier today, Azealia Banks premiered the boisterous, in-yo'-face electro banger "Yung Rapunxel," which will be released on March 26 as the first official single from her highly anticipated debut album, Broke with Expensive Taste , due out sometime this year. My body is so ready. Meanwhile, Azealia has gotten into yet another Twitter feud —this time with Rita Ora, whom she labeled "Rihanna's understudy." Is it wrong that I actually agree with Azealia? Anyway, her album may as well be called Fifty Shades of Beef (see what I did there?). Just the mandatory GIF