The Useless Critic 2.0

This weekend, I was supposed to make my way to Arizona to hang with the UC’s own Brittany and party like the world was ending. Long story short, the lovely (but not really) people at US Air were so unforgivably rude in their refusal to let me on the plane, despite me getting there well within time, I had a terrible panic attack/breakdown. Needless to say, I did not get to join my friends in AZ. And now I have to review this stinker of an episode. You have no idea how happy I am this season is over. Let’s see, in this episode, character’s storylines are woefully written, and we’re treated to some pointless flashbacks. Oh, and it’s Milla Jovovich’s birthday today, which means it’s my birthday, too! Coincidence? Well, yes, most certainly. But it is cool. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MILLA AND ME

 Ep isode 11: Do You See What I See? Don’t you love the word “penultimate?” It’s one of my favorites. Usually in TV series, everything happens in the penultimate episode, leaving the finale to deal with the recovery. Except with True Blood . There is always a Bilith-esque cliffhanger on that show. In this installment of the show I hate to love and love to hate, it’s Christmas! Also, Dexter realizes that, even 7 seasons in the can, he can still be outwitted.

Episode 10: The Dark...Whatever Ever have one of those days where you just don’t want to do anything? I’m surprised I even had the wherewithal (one of my favorite words, by the way) to take a shower this morning. But because I feel like I’d be letting the whole internet down, I sucked it up and sat down and watched Dexter this week. In case you didn’t read my recap last time, I was less enthused about where the season was going. Did this episode help to allay my feelings? Not really, but we did get some nice performances, some more Quinn shenanigans, and an evolution of sorts for Dexter.

 Episode 8: Argentina How is everyone doing? Getting ready for Thanksgiving? Going out on Black Friday to knock some grandmas down with a shopping cart in the Wal Mart parking lot? Or will you be like me and have your eyeballs glued to Amazon’s Lightning Deals so you can get a copy of Vampire Diaries season 2 for $10? I ask these things because it’s rude to just start the recap without a bit of banter. It’s like Dexter not knowing what a booty call is in this weeks episode. Segueway! I have to say, this episode wasn’t too bad despi te all the kids running around . We got some major pieces to the puzzle that is this season, including something I predicted way back when.

It’s that time again, where I wax poetic about all the poor decisions everyone seems to be making on Dexter. In this installment, Dex decides to help out his girl, his girl decides to help herself, Deb decides to help Dex (some more) , Quinn decides to help his stripper, and LaGuerta decides to help no one, as usual.   

 Episode 6: Do the Wrong Thing What a crazy week, huh? I hope everyone on the East coast is recovering from that bitch Sandy. And I hope everyone got out an voted t oday! I know I did! Anyhoo, this week Dexter starts feeling all funny about a certain blonde lady, Deb has lustful thoughts about a true crime author, and Quinn dry humps a bag of money. Oh, and there’s some stuff about crimes and covering up said crimes, too. ( I also totally phoned in the pic s for this recap. I have a cold, and that's my excuse.)

Episode 5: Swim Deep How about that hurricane? Hopefully all my fellow East-coasters are all safe and sound with plenty of candles, flashlights, books and lube. On this installment of Dexter , they cover up a lot of shit, exhume some different shit, and things just don’t go the way that Dex had planned. Hate when that happens, amirite? Also , this one was a real annoyance to wright about. But I got through it, because I care about you.

And we’re back! Second episodes are always a little iffy. Depending on the strength of the first episode, it can feel bland by comparison (looking at you, Revolution ). And as you’ll recall, the season premiere left us with quite the revelatory cliffhanger. How did it fare? Read on! Spoilers from here on out!

Hello my interweb friends! Did you miss me? I know I’ve barely thought of you. As it should be. Because that would be creepy otherwise. In all honesty, I’ve hated not having any recap material for you all, and in these past few weeks, there have been so many premiers. But I decided to go with Dexter because we have a history. A long and mostly entertaining history. So, where to start? Since I’ve already done a series recap, I think I’ll just jump right in. Spoilers to follow!