The Useless Critic 2.0

Enlightened  Episode 8 Agent of Change Well, here it is, folks, the season finale. I, for one, was under the impression that they were given a ten episode season as well. Imagine my surprise! As I’m sure you’re aware, the show isn’t exactly a ratings juggernaut, so the chances for a season three are not the best, but it’s not unheard of. After all, it’s not as costly as, say, Game of Thrones . I’ll have you know, HBO, that I am not ready to say goodbye to these characters. Anyway, as unprepared as I was for this season to end, I was enthralled from moment one. It starts with Krista going to the hospital to give birth, with Amy’s narration: “How strange is this life...born into a body...in this beautiful, upsetting world.” At the same time, Amy’s at home, watching the news, thinking, “Am I my higher self? An agent of change? Or a creator of chaos? The fool, the goat, the witch? Am I enlightened?” It’s a fantastic question to ask. Is Amy enlightened, as...

  I watched these episodes late at night, which I usually don’t do. My notes are a little...weird. But it’s okay, I’ve had my coffee. If I had to nail down a specific theme for both of the episodes is “trust issues.” The Girls have some daddy issues and the Enlightened crew deal with trusting each other, as usual. [Sorry for the delay, everyone. That silly thing called "life" got in the way this week.]

  Girls Episode 5: One Man's Trash To be truthful, I was so tired today, I didn't know if I'd get these done. But I made iced coffee, and holy shit is it waaaay too strong. Yet I keep drinking it. So, I got these recaps done. How about that?   Can you believe we’re already at the halfway point for both these shows? Crazy. This week, Girls and Enlightened change things up a bit by focusing on one character and highlighting another, respectively. Oh, did anyone watch the Grammys? Yeah, neither did I. This episode of Girls focuses on Hannah and Hannah alone, and that’s just fine for this recapper. It’s exhausting to navigate all the interwoven storylines. Hannah and Ray are outside of the cafe, and Hannah thinks she’s just come up with a new term: “sexit.” Like a sexy exit, as in “let’s sexit this boring party.” Ray looks it up on urbandictionary.com and it’s been used as a quick exit from the act of sex, aka a “French exit.” Hannah is bumm...

Girls  Episode 4: It's a Shame About Ray It feels good to be back in my weekly routine. This week, I think I enjoyed Enlightened more than Girls , but that’s really like me saying I like coffee more than espresso this week. In other words, both were great, but Enlightened blew me away. But now I’m getting ahead of myself (it happens). First up, it’s the show where all the awkward conversations happen. The episode begins with the fallout between Elijah and Hannah. Yes, he’s still moving out and he is “livid.” They squabble as Elijah packs up. Hannah rubs her vagina back and forth across one of Elijah’s (or George’s, since he paid for everything) chairs. She calls him a fink, and that she shouldn’t have tried to re-purpose Elijah as a friend. He says she owes him for all the burritos he bought her when they were dating in college. Oh, and the butt plug (more on that later). All the time this fight is happening, I’m acting like the traumatized child, curled up i...

Girls  Episode 2: I Get Ideas Sorry these recaps have been so late in coming. I fully expect to be back on schedule by next week. But enough about me, let’s talk about how great these shows have been. Episode two starts with the fallout from Elijah and Marnie’s ill-fated hook-up. Elijah’s boyfriend George breaks up with him, citing the age difference and he doesn’t want to wait for Elijah to figure things out. I guess I can understand that, but Elijah is such a catch. Meanwhile, Hannah does aerobics (poorly) in leopard print leggings. Later—aka after the title—Hannah and Elijah watch Adam’s uncomfortably personal Youtube music video. It’s very tragic in a hilarious way. They debate whether or not Adam is murdery or just sexy in a murdery way. I’d have to say the latter; I can’t imagine Adam murdering anyone, as creepy as he can be. Also, what is Hannah wearing? Is that just a sleeping bag? Elsewhere, Marnie goes to a shitty job interview at another art galle...

    Did you all have a lovely holiday season? I hope so. Did you watch the Golden Globes, or at the very least follow my amazing drunk live tweets of it? Well, Lena Dunham won for her portrayal of Hannah Horvath on Girls , and the show won for Best TV Series (Comedy or Musical). All of this happening while Girls premiered its second season. So let’s get to it. Oh, and on a side note, I’m not nearly as hung over as I’d predicted. Girls Episode 1: It's About Time Hannah—Her boyfriend Adam got hit by a truck, and she kind of lost it. Ate cake on Coney Island. Shoshanna—Being deflowered by acquaintance Ray. Also smoked crack. Jessa—Got married to a man she barely knows, but it’s Chris O’Dowd from Bridesmaids , so I can’t really blame her. Marnie—lost her mind at Jessa’s hippie wedding, made out with that one guy from SNL in front of her ex. Charlie. Everyone's having a great morning! Hannah and her new roommate, Elijah, wake up spooning in bed toget...