The Useless Critic 2.0

Word has it that both Oh Land and Fiona Apple were at SXSW this week. And I wasn't. Do you see the disturbing factor there?  Well, Fiona is a lot more remarkable, in this scenario. She's been around since the mid-90s and in hiding really since 2005, when Extraordinary Machine  was hauled out into the public eye, after being kept down by her record company. God! I can't believe that was like seven years ago. I need a moment. I did not take that photo. Someone from the HuffPo did. While this concert happened, I was in Phoenix, doing things. not sure what, but certainly not seeing Miss Apple in her yoga body glory!  Also:  she played at a barbecue. huh. that's like, the one place this side of a car wash I would expect to hear her. whateverrrrrrrrrr. I hope someone was eating prime rib while she tore through "Sleep to Dream." WOMP WOMP WOMP.  The real incentive for me writing this post, however, is her behavior at said barbecue jam. Tot...

So, on Facebook a local (to me) page called "We Are Barnsley" posted a status update that rather annoyed me. Usually they report on local news, about what schools are closed due to strikes, what traffic problems there may be. You know, stuff that might help readers. Then yesterday they posted: Dear McDonalds staff on Old Mill Lane. I know you are people too and not just there to serve us lunch...but do you REALLY have to sit outside in a huddle outside and smoke where all customers can see you?! As a nonsmoker that has just really put me off... In a following post after the group got blasted for being (in the words of the posters) snobbish and pig ignorant they tried to defend their claim by talking about hygiene and how the smoking area was mere feet away from the drive through window where the food is given to the customer. I work at this McDonald's, and I am indeed one of the offending smokers (Yeah, quitting didn't go so well for me.) This one corner, whi...

Naturally it's Heidi Montag. No seriously. That little tinker twat I love to hate is making her way into Day Time television taking one of the view's co-hosting spots from Elizzie H on Oct. 1st. Listen, Heidi M was lousy on prime time TV! She was lousy in front of the microphone, so why the hell would anyone let this lousy media flytrap onto daytime television? Is there any spot on TV Heidi M won't invade? I say don't even let this snatch-mouth on youtube. At least all the kiddies will be at school, so they don't have to see her untalented playboy posing ass all over the television screen. PS: I wonder if Heidi will mention me in her memoir. QATFYG: Whose memoir do you want to be mentioned in?

The new season of America's Next Top Midget premiered last night, and I have to say, it was surprisingly good. The contestants all looked pretty (I know, weird, isn't it?) and the makeovers weren't too disgusting. I'm even okay with the girl they kicked out and how they ranked the photos at judging. It was a surprisingly inoffensive event. Nicole and Laura for the win, bitches! However, as relatively decent this show was, there was one thing that made the casting episode stand out: Amber. Amber was one of the prospective contestants. She likes Jesus, dancing, Jesus, and being insane. Can you see the crazy in her eyes? It's a modern-day tragedy that she left before she got on the show. View the following "best of" video. I'm not even fucking kidding. You WANT to watch this. "I used to be a crazy girl, and that didn't bring me happiness." Oh, Amber. You're still crazy! If only she'd made it to the show... sigh. Maybe next cycle!