The Useless Critic 2.0

Valentine's Day is coming up and I hope you have plans. Like a fat hooker named Marta coming in from Youngstown to knead your flesh like dough. Perhaps you will dine on a tub of better alone, weeping. Or perhaps you are one of those fortunate people who will be celebrating love with the one you love.  Anyway: Godspeed . :) Last year, we all made our Valentine's Day playlists, some in jest and some in earnest. This year- I'm trying a different approach (and solo I guess).  So, if you want to establish a truly romantic experience, please avoid these songs by any means: Michael Bolton need not touch anyone ANYWHERE. Plus, who the hell says "can I touch you there?" midsex? Really? No! Get away from my elbow!!!! Would you kick that man out of bed for his dreads? All I can think about is "Bruno." "Puppy Love" will not get you laid. FYI. Depressing music should be avoided. Or whatever. It's your call bro. Nico shoul...

I PRESENT TO YOU NICO, Andy Warhol's muse, German person, fashion model, Jackson Browne lovah (aren't we all), member of the Velvet Underground, etc. this beautiful bitch had one sad life. RIP. also! Yelle and Lykke Li are touring. not together, though. sadly. but! this means that we can expect new material from both of them. yay! and their tours are very limited as of right now but we should just get on our knees and pray that changes. if you live in cities like New York City or Stockholm (sigh) you are in luck. in Erie news, the Marjorie trial continues. yesterday she had an outburst in court and was like DO I LOOK LIKE A MAN to the jury. I don't know how she wanted people to answer that. but you know she is like Botticelli's Venus come to life and all. I am going to try and score a Yelle interview. peace for the night, darlings.