The Useless Critic 2.0

Yesterday The CW announced an early renewal of the midseason drama Riverdale for the 2017–18 season, just s ix weeks into its first season . Yaaaasssss!!! I couldn't be more excited about this, I've been hooked on the show since day one. Riverdale is certainly not your average teen drama—it's moody, sexy and packed with just the right amount of mystery and major twists. The storylines are so compelling and always keep you wanting more. I must say I've been a bit obsessed with Cheryl. At first I low-key hated her and thought she was nothing more than a spoiled, manipulative bitch, but ever since episode three she has become my favorite character. She's just so complex, and I believe that her ice-queen persona is partially due to losing her twin brother Jason. Okay, I might be getting just a little overanalytical now. And if you still need a reason to watch Riverdale , well... Is it weird to be thirsting over a 19-year-old playing a 16/17-year...

I've been hearing quite a lot about the new CW teen drama Riverdale , which premiered last week on Thursday (January 26), so I decided to check it out—and I was pleasantly surprised. Based on the popular Archie Comics characters, the series is set in the fictional small town of Riverdale, where the mysterious murder of rich kid Jason Blossom takes place on the Fourth of July. As it becomes evident within the first few minutes of the pilot episode, Riverdale takes a dark, noir, and subversive spin on the original comics, earning comparisons to shows such as The CW's own Gossip Girl , Pretty Little Liars , and Twin Peaks . The young cast consists mostly of fresh, relatively unknown faces. New Zealander K.J. Apa plays Archie Andrews, a popular, all-American jock who struggles to balance football, his father's construction firm, and his newfound passion for music. Wholesome, girl-next-door Betty Cooper, played by Lili Reinhart, is Archie's childhood best friend,...

SURPRISE, BITCH. I know I've been slacking off for a while now, but I decided to dust myself off and write my annual coverage of the broadcast networks' fall schedule announcements. This year's post might not be as elaborate as my previous ones, but I'm still putting my heart (and trademark sass) into it. Enjoy! ABC Renewed: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. • Castle • The Goldbergs • Grey's Anatomy • Last Man Standing • The Middle • Modern Family • Nashville • Once Upon a Time • Resurrection • Revenge • Scandal Cancelled: The Assets • Back in the Game • Betrayal • Killer Women • Lucky 7 • Mind Games • Mixology • The Neighbors • Once Upon a Time in Wonderland • Suburgatory • Super Fun Night • Trophy Wife New series: Agent Carter • American Crime • The Astronaut Wives Club • Black-ish • Cristela • Forever • Fresh Off the Boat • Galavant • How to Get Away with Murder • Manhattan Love Story • Members Only • Secrets & Lies • Selfie • The...

Just in case you didn't know, The Carrie Diaries —based on the Sex and the City prequel book series by Candace Bushnell—will premiere this Monday, January 14 at 8/7c on The CW! Developed by Josh Schwartz and Stephanie Savage (the duo behind Gossip Girl and The O.C. ), the show takes place in 1984 and follows 16-year-old Carrie Bradshaw (played by AnnaSophia Robb) during her senior year of high school. After her mother's death, Carrie lands an internship at a law firm in Manhattan. I'm so excited! Despite what whiny purists and skeptics might say, I think this looks quite promising. I'm a huge Sex and the City fan, but as most of you probably know by now, I have a soft spot for soapy teen dramas, especially the ones set in New York. Unfortunately, since The CW is pretty much the lowest-rated TV network today (no matter how m any times NBC tries to snatch that title), its shows tend to be hit-or-miss when it comes to viewership, so I'm really hoping this ...

Wanna be on top???? Finally, after a month or so gathering information and inspiration, here is my appreciation post for the flawless Allison Harvard , who first came into prominence as a contestant on Cycle 12 of The CW's America's Next Top Model in 2009. Why do I find her so fascinating? Countless reasons could be cited: her big doll eyes, her unusual beauty, her quirky (yes, it's an overused term to describe her) personality, her amazing sense of style. On top of that, she strikes me as this genuinely fun, sweet girl to be around, not to mention creative, intelligent and down-to-earth. I can say in all honesty that I don't recall being this obsessed with any other ANTM contestant, she's just so fresh, unique and out of this world. In this post, I'll provide insight into this singular Houston native, as well as present you guys with some of her highlights during the show. Before we go any further, I'd like to say that anything remotely off...