The Useless Critic 2.0

Last Friday, March 18, ageless queen Gwen Stefani finally released her long-awaited third solo studio album, This Is What the Truth Feels Like , her first in almost ten years. Damn, I can't believe it's been a decade since The Sweet Escape ! Last October, following her highly publicized divorce from her husband of 13 years, Gavin Rossdale, Gwen dropped the emotional lead single "Used to Love You." Given its confessional nature, I instantly expected the album to include lots of angsty, lovelorn ballads in the vein of " Early Winter " (one of the best ballads of all time ), " 4 in the Morning ," and " Don't Speak ." The following month, after weeks of speculation, Gwen confirmed she was in a relationship with her The Voice co-host Blake Shelton, which would inevitably become an additional source of inspiration for her upcoming album. I'm still not quite sure how I feel about these two being an item. Blake is actually kind of...

Last Thursday, October 29, Sky Ferreira's debut album, Night Time, My Time , turned two years old. I've been hella busy lately, but I just couldn't miss out on the opportunity to celebrate this masterful record. If you're not some uptight prude who is offended by nipples, y ou can view the original uncensored cover here As I've probably said a gazillion times before, this is an album that truly resonates with me. I just love the aesthetics and how the songs discuss universal themes—excitement, angst, frustration, heartbreak, hedonism, empowerment—in such a unique, raw, complex manner. Named after a line said by murdered homecoming queen Laura Palmer in the 1992 movie Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me , Night Time, My Time eschews Ferreira's shimmering synthpop roots in favor of distorted, murky rock textures that draw heavily from grunge and new wave, with occasional nods to noise pop, shoegaze, and punk. Since I didn't get to write a proper review b...

Yep, the wait is finally the over. And I'm only one month late! Well, a little more than that. I'm not really good with intros, so can we just cut to the chase? Alrighty then. 1) "Aura" Originally titled "Burqa," the song begins with Western-style guitar riffs and Gaga's distorted vocals as she confesses to killing her "former," before erupting into a schizophrenic onslaught of glitchy synths and pounding beats. The bold lyrics make a potentially controversial reference to the burqa, which here is used as a metaphor for Gaga's own artistry and sexuality: "Enigma popstar is fun, she wear burqa for fashion / It's not a statement as much as just a move of passion." In the chorus, she proceeds to ask, "Do you wanna see me naked, lover? / Do you wanna peek underneath the cover? / Do you wanna see the girl who lives behind the aura?" Then again, it wouldn't be Lady Gaga without a little bit of controversy, huh? 1...

More like "ridiculously late" or "inexcusably late." Last August, Ellie Goulding's second album, Halcyon , was re-released as Halcyon Days . As if the original album didn't already have, like, a thousand different versions , right? It just so happens that Ellie is no stranger to reissues—her 2010 debut album, Lights , was repackaged as Bright Lights , which presented us with some of Ellie's best songs yet, namely " Human ," " Home ," and " Animal ". Much like Bright Lights , Halcyon Days includes ten brand-new tracks, and given my undying love for Ms. Goulding, I just had to share my thoughts on them. Even if it took me a million years. 1) "Burn" Many fans will agree with me when I say that "Burn"—which was originally intended for Leona Lewis—sounds rather generic compared to Ellie's previous releases, especially amidst today's oversaturated EDM fad. Well , this uplifting summer jam ...

2006: I am a freshman at Edinboro University. Having grown up with dial-up, arriving at Edinboro introduced me to the world of high-speed internet. I was HOOKED. Naturally I began to abuse internet radio first and foremost. I was exposed to a lot of great music that year. Beirut, Final Fantasy, Joanna Newsom, M.I.A. I remember the first time I heard the National. It was a rainy gross-ass Edinboro day, which is about 360 days out of the year. The song was "All the Wine." Whoa!  I remember thinking. What a cocky asshole . "I'm a birthday candle in a circle of black girls," Matt spits in the song, like he is spitting right on you, the listener. ??? What does that even mean? Do you know how many circles of black girls around cupcakes I have imagined to this song? "I am a perfect piece of ass." Of course it's a parody, but the light's not quite on in my developing brain.  . I was appalled! And rather bored. I listened to the s...