An Open Letter to Cereal
Dear Cereal, I have been a devout eater of you for years and I have not had a complaint. I remember flinging Cheerio's at my mom in the chapel at church as a toddler. I remember the excitement of pushing boxes off the shelf at the grocery store. I remember my brother and I being determined to find the toy in your boxes. In college do you remember when I was so poor all I could eat was peanut butter and cereal? That was FUN. I loved crying myself to sleep! I know the past year we've experienced a growing apart. I eat my breakfast before I go to work, usually hurried in a parking lot. Let's not gloss over these details. I have as much class as a Craigslist prostitute. So I was out buying supplies for my spoiled guinea pigs yesterday and I saw CEREAL. And I was like, well you know maybe it's better if I start having breakfast at home again (you have no idea how much I like protein bars. It helps with my weight-training you know). There was this box of a va...