My Day at Coachella
9 AM: Get into my favorite Urban Outfitters attire and put on a headdress. Ready to party, guys! 9:30 AM: Drink a kombucha latte in a field. 9:45 AM: Call Mom and ask to borrow her credit card again. 11 AM: After listening to the Guns and Roses set (featuring Kanye on vocals), I end up in the 26-mile-long line for the bathroom. 11:30 AM: End up in Taylor Swift's squad. How did I get here? I just walked into it! 12 PM: Am ejected from Taylor's squad. Forever shamed, forever 21. HEARTBREAK IS MY NATIONAL ANTHEM 12:30 PM: Run into hologram of Chubby Checker. Run away, screaming. 1 PM: Call Mom again. 1:50 PM: Trade my gladiator sandals for flower crown from Lana Del Ray. Later realize it was James Franco incognito. 3 PM: End up coloring adult coloring books with Justin Bieber while LCD Soundsystem (reunited!) plays. 3:45 PM: Snapchat!!! 5 PM: Wake up w/ flower crown stolen. Sob. More shame ensues. 7 PM: Add Lena Dunham to my LinkedIn network. 9 PM: Fal...