The Useless Critic 2.0

This story really piqued my interest today. Rochus Misch was loyal to Hitler until the very end. I mean not in a YAY NAZISM way, but in the way he always spoke highly of Hitler. As in saying at one point: " He was no brute. He was no monster. He was no superman. " Wow. Huh.  I'm kind of puzzled by this man (and RIP, he seemed like kind of a nice dude from what I read about him). He claimed to not know ANYTHING about the Final Solution... and how would you be Hitler's assistant/bodyguard/around him 24-7 and not have an inkling of that information? Misch seemed very sincere about all that, but to me it just seems way unlikely. It makes me wonder about the whole good vs. evil in people dilemma. I know we are all a composite of good and bad, but few of us are responsible for genocides against groups of people we deem unworthy or lesser-than, somehow. Still: Are you guilty by association when you are in cahoots with true evildoers? Do you remain responsible as a...

ROSEBUD! Perhaps you heard not too long ago that "Vertigo" was named the best film of all time by British magazine Sight & Sound. This is in strict opposition to the commonly accepted idea that "Citizen Kane" is, in fact, the owner of this title. So somewhere, Orson Welles is quaking in his big grave. This begs the question- well, is "Vertigo" the best movie in history? If you asked me, and no one did for good reason, I would have said "Casablanca," which is truly an epic, historically-rich romance. Ingrid Bergman and Nazis:  WHAT gets better than that. This side of Easy Mac- UM NOTHING. So "Vertigo." I recently rewatched it because I didn't have anything better to do one Sunday night. neither did he. Have you seen the movie? It's certainly a film that deserves repeated viewings. It's kind of hard to accurately describe...it's trippy.  The premise boils down to a fear of heights- hence the title. ...

People love being jerks online. This is a reality. It's easy and also cowardly, you know? And no place is this more prominent than YOUTUBE.  Well, check out this piece of historical footage (concerning a man who witnessed the assasination of Abraham Lincoln; he was the last living witness to that event.  what I love about this? how respectful the comments are. Not one nasty thing I can see. I mean, I'm genuinely impressed, because even on video clips where I thought no one could manage to sink low- I've been shocked to read some things people will write! This is some rare internet business, friends, but I'm happy to see it.  (also, it totally blows my mind this guy managed to see Lincoln shot. I'm always fascinated by people who have seen so much history in their lifetime). 

So what is it about TESLA? Why is he suddenly a huge deal again? Because old inventors are really not a big deal these days. At all. The end.  Well, check out this link to read a little more on the project  (sponsored by the creative geniuses at the Oatmeal ). that guarantees Nikola Tesla's place in history for future generations. It is called  Let's Build a Goddamn Tesla Museum !   And the best part is they've already EXCEEDED their goal, which the New York state government has promised to match. (New York state was the site of his last laboratory).  So consider making a donation, because Tesla was awesome and he died a broken man, defeated by unfortunate circumstances. Really, the loss of his reputation was a tragedy beyond all means.  question:  who is your favorite inventor? (mine is Britney Spears).  p.s. David Bowie played him in the Prestige! Badass! 

So Al's post about Ainsley Earhardt continues to be ravingly popular. Good for Al and the bitch with a great name. However, I, in my blinding stupidity, always misread it as... AMELIA EARHART! and then I think "why is it so popular?" DUHHHH. Amelia Earhart hasn't been a celebrity sensation since the 1930s. and we all know the 1930s were so long ago. so very long ago! LIFE WHY MUST YOU BE SO HARD my best friend's great-great-uncle invented the folding chair. cool huh? shut up. anyway, because of this invention, my best friend's family has an autographed photo of AMELIA. yup! my great great grandfather invented the Kemp Shredder. google that shit. I would be the heir to something if so many people hadn't been injured by it. this is it.  yeah don't hate. so! Amelia Earhart gained her fame for being one brave lady aviator, way back in the day. like she was crossing all over all kinds of bodies of water.  this was when that was a big deal...

The King’s Speech I was pretty skeptical coming into this film. I had heard about the positive reviews but it seemed like one of those Hallmark cum inspirational films about a man finding his voice for his country rahrah . This film could have been a turkey, if the directing hit the schmaltzy button and made a male version of a Mandy Moore film. Surprisingly, it was really good. Colin Firth totally owned the performance as the stuttering king with guts. He’s having a great run at the moment, with his acting performance in A Single Man and The King’s Speech being excellent. Thank God he’s moved on from wearing reindeer shirts in Bridget’s Jones Diary . I thought we had lost him forever to shit rom - coms : OH LOOK, BITCHES I AM PAYING THE MORTGAGE, HERE. Geoffrey Rush was also very good as the Australian speech therapist. He played the eccentric kooky doctor role well (think Robert Williams in Good Will Hunting ) and kept asking the King for a shilling. Surprisingly the rest of the c...

While I rot in Detroit for another day, I decided to finally write something I've been putting off for ages. you know how the History Channel had to pull the Kennedys' series because the family had an actual qualm about it? despite the fact the series had some really good actors in it (Katie Holmes is give or take here) and they put a lot of money into production? WELL we may never know what the History Channel had in mind for America's version of the royal family, but I'd like to think I could imagine a few worthy scenes from the series. also, I did know research. what I wrote about is what I know about. ENJOY SCENE 1 JFK: ASK NOT WHAT YOUR CUNT-TRY CAN DO FOR YOU, BUT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR YOUR .... CUNTRY. JACKIE: (privately, to herself) He really seemed to drag out the 'cunt' in that, didn't he? hmm. JFK (later, while they are still outside, arm-in-arm): I didn't say the first syllable too long, did I, Jackie dear? JACKIE (stares at him and then bli...

I remember Columbia in 2003 and thinking "this didn't just happen again! it couldn't have!" I'm stuck in Detroit for the night. send help.

In honor of the Pizzabomber trial unfolding in Erie, I am dedicating my dead people post to everyone from that scenario that is now dead. Especially pizza bomber himself, Brian Wells. I really do remember this day well- the day Erie stole the national spotlight for such a bizarre, bizarre story. PHONE RANG IN 2003 RANG RANG me: hullo bff: omg someone is trying to blow up the Millcreek Mall. me: WOT WHY bff: WE CAN'T LET TERRORISTS WIN BRITT-NAY. me: OMG IF THEY BLOW IT UP WHERE AM I GOING TO REEBOKS *cries, listens to Toby Keith* fun fact: I actually worked near the scene of this in the summer of 2006. I'm pretty sure I could get a job leading people on a tour of all the places involved in this weird ass story. anyway though, comfort yourself with knowing that while Marjorie appeals for her sanity this afternoon, I will be within mere blocks of her. like, so close she could come and rip my face off if she wanted to. what Marjorie is listening to right now: btw, if you like Warp...

OMGOMGOMG the poetry nerd in me today has ejaculated, my friends. A TED HUGHES POEM ABOUT THE DEATH OF SYLVIA PLATH HAS EMERGED. read about it here . shit! those words. "your wife is dead." also, Sylvia Plath is being interred in New York City next month? SAY WHAT? ROADTRIP????

It was Katrina, which devastated a portion of the American south. Question: in light of the recent oil spill, do you think the American south has been cursed or something? that poor region.

and this has no creds for our blog, but here goes it: where were you on 9/11, yo? .... I just like to hear people's answers to it. I'll tell my story first: JANET NOWAK DIDN'T LET ME KNOW UNTIL THE END OF THE DAY WHAT HAPPENED AND FOR THAT I CAN NEVER FORGIVE HER. but it was a terrible day and I remember thinking, as my pubescent self ran home from James S. Wilson Middle School (holla) KATIE COURIC BETTER STILL BE ALIVE. I loved my Katie then. DON'T HATE.

so the other night, after all the toy ukuleles we found were damaged or just plain crap, Jason and I saw "Public Enemies." which was OH MY GOD WHAT I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR. moviegasm! I've never had much appreciation for Michael Mann prior to this film. just another name I heard spat at when speaking of directors. but he did a fine, fine job with this. at times, it feels a bit long and like some things could well be cut out (I loved how Channing Tatum was billed as such a big role and he's in it for like, five minutes, if that) and of COURSE they romanticized Dillinger! how else would a movie like that work? (especially with Depp playing him) The Depression itself is glossed over; there are very few (if any) mentions to the historical timeframe. but who gives a shit! I went to a see a movie that was containing of: a.) fast-paced action scenes (SOMEBODY NEEDS TO BRING MACHINE GUNS BAAAAACK)- there was something interesting about the way it was shot, like very realist...