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Dexter: Perfect At One Thing

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Episode 3 What’s Eating Dexter Morgan? Dexter wakes up in the middle of the night to Harrison’s cries. At first it seems like a dream; Dex follows red splotches on the floor to the bathroom. He instead finds Harrison on the bathroom floor, an empty box of cherry popsicles beside him. Instead of making the kid puke it up, Dex gives him a shot of pepto and sends him to bed. The very thought of all that sugar and red 40 makes me want to puke just thinking about it. Elsewhere, Deb gets taken into the police station for an almost-DUI. She also wrecked a parking meter with her car. And who does she call? Not Dexter, not Elway, no she calls fucking Quinn, who is asleep with Jamie when she calls. He makes an excuse of “police stuff” and runs to Deb’s rescue. Next morning, Dex and Miami Metro investigate the backwoods cabin (that Dex already discovered last ep). Instead of finding the body of supposed killer Sussman on meat hooks, they find him with a hole in his he...

Dexter: Exactly What You Need To Be

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Episode 2 Every Silver Lining... Sorry for the lateness of this recap. Did I mention I’ll be moving to Chicago in about a month?! Crazy stuff. Oh, and I made scrambled eggs this morning and didn’t burn the house down! Hooray for me! Anyhoo, let’s get to things. The plot gets a bit twisty this episode, and it was a pain to scribble notes for. A lot of good dialogue and character development.

Dexter Season Premiere: The User's Mailbox is Full

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Episode 1 A Beautiful Day Six months have passed since last season (thank god), and some things have changed. For Dexter, things have gone back to “normal.” He’s still at Miami Metro, he’s dating big breasted women, and the actor that plays Harrison has been recast (at least I think so). There’s a memorial service for LaGuerta. Angel gives a short speech, saying how “everyone misses her.” Speak for yourself. It was about damn time she got what was coming to her—namely Dex and Deb murdering her and covering it up. Oh, and the memorial? An awful white concrete bench. How fitting that it’s as boring as she was. Even Angel thinks it’s tacky. See, he’s having trouble letting go; he still has boxes of her stuff back from when they were an item. Oh, and LaGuerta’s death made Angel rejoin Miami Metro. What, wasn’t his “I’m gonna retire and open a restaurant” storyline working for you? Everyone wonders where Deb is. She quit the force, that much is obvious, but Dex se...

Dexter Recap: Bloody Lips and Bad Flashback Hair Edition

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This weekend, I was supposed to make my way to Arizona to hang with the UC’s own Brittany and party like the world was ending. Long story short, the lovely (but not really) people at US Air were so unforgivably rude in their refusal to let me on the plane, despite me getting there well within time, I had a terrible panic attack/breakdown. Needless to say, I did not get to join my friends in AZ. And now I have to review this stinker of an episode. You have no idea how happy I am this season is over. Let’s see, in this episode, character’s storylines are woefully written, and we’re treated to some pointless flashbacks. Oh, and it’s Milla Jovovich’s birthday today, which means it’s my birthday, too! Coincidence? Well, yes, most certainly. But it is cool. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MILLA AND ME

Dexter Recap: All I Want For Christmas Is Reindeer Dicks Edition

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 Ep isode 11: Do You See What I See? Don’t you love the word “penultimate?” It’s one of my favorites. Usually in TV series, everything happens in the penultimate episode, leaving the finale to deal with the recovery. Except with True Blood . There is always a Bilith-esque cliffhanger on that show. In this installment of the show I hate to love and love to hate, it’s Christmas! Also, Dexter realizes that, even 7 seasons in the can, he can still be outwitted.

Dexter Recap: The Surprise Dollhouse Trauma Edition

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Episode 10: The Dark...Whatever Ever have one of those days where you just don’t want to do anything? I’m surprised I even had the wherewithal (one of my favorite words, by the way) to take a shower this morning. But because I feel like I’d be letting the whole internet down, I sucked it up and sat down and watched Dexter this week. In case you didn’t read my recap last time, I was less enthused about where the season was going. Did this episode help to allay my feelings? Not really, but we did get some nice performances, some more Quinn shenanigans, and an evolution of sorts for Dexter.

Dexter Recap: Donut Holes and Revelations Edition

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 Episode 8: Argentina How is everyone doing? Getting ready for Thanksgiving? Going out on Black Friday to knock some grandmas down with a shopping cart in the Wal Mart parking lot? Or will you be like me and have your eyeballs glued to Amazon’s Lightning Deals so you can get a copy of Vampire Diaries season 2 for $10? I ask these things because it’s rude to just start the recap without a bit of banter. It’s like Dexter not knowing what a booty call is in this weeks episode. Segueway! I have to say, this episode wasn’t too bad despi te all the kids running around . We got some major pieces to the puzzle that is this season, including something I predicted way back when.

Dexter Recap: Don't Drink the Lemonade Edition

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It’s that time again, where I wax poetic about all the poor decisions everyone seems to be making on Dexter. In this installment, Dex decides to help out his girl, his girl decides to help herself, Deb decides to help Dex (some more) , Quinn decides to help his stripper, and LaGuerta decides to help no one, as usual.   

Dexter Recap: Crouching in Slow Motion Edition

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 Episode 6: Do the Wrong Thing What a crazy week, huh? I hope everyone on the East coast is recovering from that bitch Sandy. And I hope everyone got out an voted t oday! I know I did! Anyhoo, this week Dexter starts feeling all funny about a certain blonde lady, Deb has lustful thoughts about a true crime author, and Quinn dry humps a bag of money. Oh, and there’s some stuff about crimes and covering up said crimes, too. ( I also totally phoned in the pic s for this recap. I have a cold, and that's my excuse.)

Dexter Recap: Elevator Tourette Edition

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Episode 5: Swim Deep How about that hurricane? Hopefully all my fellow East-coasters are all safe and sound with plenty of candles, flashlights, books and lube. On this installment of Dexter , they cover up a lot of shit, exhume some different shit, and things just don’t go the way that Dex had planned. Hate when that happens, amirite? Also , this one was a real annoyance to wright about. But I got through it, because I care about you.

Dexter Recap: The Reform School for Wayward Serial Killers Edition

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And we’re back! Second episodes are always a little iffy. Depending on the strength of the first episode, it can feel bland by comparison (looking at you, Revolution ). And as you’ll recall, the season premiere left us with quite the revelatory cliffhanger. How did it fare? Read on! Spoilers from here on out!

Dexter Recap: The Crying on a Treadmill Edition

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Hello my interweb friends! Did you miss me? I know I’ve barely thought of you. As it should be. Because that would be creepy otherwise. In all honesty, I’ve hated not having any recap material for you all, and in these past few weeks, there have been so many premiers. But I decided to go with Dexter because we have a history. A long and mostly entertaining history. So, where to start? Since I’ve already done a series recap, I think I’ll just jump right in. Spoilers to follow!

Surprise! It's Dexter! (a retrospective before the recapping of season 7)

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I didn’t watch Dexter when it first aired. I think I started watching the first season when season 4 was underway. It was one of those shows that everyone demanded I watch (sorry Sons of Anarchy and Breaking Bad , I’m sure I’ll get to you eventually). So I eventually gave in. I thought in anticipation of the new season--and since I'll be recapping it--I'd give myself a refresher, and let you all in on it. Needless to say here there be spoilers about the series as a whole.

Spotlight/Shoutout: Michael and Michael

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So this is a time of the year where we say goodbye. Goodbye 2010. And I am reminded that I am in the midst of amazing tradition. During each winter and spring season, I get to devote my life to Michael and Michael. The first Michael is Michael C. Hall. And he’s now single – All you Foxy Ladies control yourselves— But I have a tradition during the spring months, where I let my obsession with “Dexter” go wild. Congrats once again to Michael C. Hall on winning the globe for his stellar performance as the enigmatic serial killer that is “Dexter Morgan.” The second Michael is Michael Buckley who is a star web celeb and is the host of the “What the Buck Show.” He is hilarious, and he is climbing the ranks of the entertainment industry. Seriously, visit www.buckhollywood.com …good times good times. I started living like this in the winter/spring of 2009, where I would just sit at home and watch Dexter on DVD and What the Buck Show on the internet. Good times, good times.....no seriously, they...

the big c and reasons i will watch aka LAURA LINNEY I LOVE YOU

Laura Linney is one reason not to lose faith in movies today. This woman is amazing; she's a godsend. You can blow smoke out of your ass about how great Meryl Streep is but this woman, LL, she has stuck with the game for long enough to finally be getting some well-deserved recognition. And she really has slaved- been in forgettable features like the Crucible and even pulling her weight on Frasier (which was such a good role for her, I might add. LAURA LINNEY AND KELSEY FOREVER). she started off in Lorenzo's Oil and has been going ever since, but just getting stronger with age, which usually is NOT how Hollywood operates. she was AWESOME in the Savages (SEE IT, I feel like the role she played is me in the future) and broke your heart (if you had one, Fever Ray!) in Love Actually (also me in the future, totally can see it, hot person from work and I are about to finally sleep together and I have to go do a family thing ugh it will happen). and she kicked so much ass as Abigal Ada...