The Useless Critic 2.0

JFK: (presenting idea to Congress) ...so that's why we need to go to THE MOON. CONGRESS: *stares* CONGRESSMAN: Um, okay. SCENE 2 This scene would serve as nothing but a vehicle for whatever Katie Holmes/Jackie is wearing. I feel like we could call Marc Jacobs and ask him to design something special for this momentous occasion. She is sitting on her designer sofa (creamy white) reading Jack Keroauc's The Dharma Bums. "Girl from Ipanema" plays. JACKIE : *flips page* hmmmmmm. SCENE 3 This is the birthday scene. Observe: MALE FRIEND WHO IS SEMI-DRUNK: Happy birthday Jackie boy! (slaps JFK on the shoulder) JFK: Aw shucks. MALE FRIEND: How does it feel to be president? JFK: Well.... It appears he is about to prattle off into a full-fledged speech when Marilyn Monroe stops him. MARILYN MONROE: Hello stranger. Can we go somewhere and be, alone? Here? Now? I'd like to be alone with you in some semblance of some respect. Big boy. *seductively smokes cigarrette* BO...

So recently I have been downloading a lot of mixtapes from DatPiff.com because they are free and I feel screwy about downloading stuff illegally all the time. Here are some facts I wouldn't have noticed without DatPiff.com: Nobody on DatPiff.com knows how to tag an mp3. Your LastFM scrobbles are all ciara - ciara - caira 03 feat crhis brow (versi . Piff stands for weed. Some mixtapes are official; others are fan-compiled. Some of the stuff on the site is probably illegal even if they say it is legal. So it's like Craigslist. Out of the fan-made mixtapes I've downloaded, a few of them are noteworthy. I will chronicle them in thousand-page-long love letters featuring hand-drawn hearts and calligraphy carefully torn from the perforated edge of a teenage girl's math notebook below. Cam'ron - Pink Season ( Link ) The cover art for this mixtape is terrible so I'm not going put it on here. It's the cover of XXL Magazine (?) with Cam'ron on it and some pin...