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THE FOODZ

p.s. I went back to one of my favorite restaurants ever- EVER! I say this because I love the Cracker Barrel and I don't really give a shit if you think this is like, trashy and redneck and AS BOURGEOSIE AS SHOPPING AT KOHL'S of me, because there's so much irony in me eating my fried apples while listening to Hank Williams it's like, well something jammed up the ass with ass tampons of irony- BUT YES Crossroads Dinor which just reopened earlier this month. my friend told me, gravely warned me, it wouldn't be the same and it wasn't. my jumbo pretzels were GONE. this was a bad omen. I think everything went downhill when they got rid of that gift shop and put in a bar because really does that town need another bar? NO. IT DOES NOT.

I had the Rachel, which is like some kind of turkey reuben but still good. the food wasn't bad. but something was missing. it's not even like I have that fond of memories, because they vary between my dad's red face throwing spit at me and lethargic evenings freshman year. oh and the one time I went last fall and no one would wait on me. I think it was because I was by myself. I JUST WANTED TO SIP MY COKE AND WRITE POETRY GODDAMMIT WAS THAT SO WRONG???

in due time, several visits to the Cracker Barrel will make up for this.

- the useless food critic, hidden under Dolly Parton's breasts

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