Skip to main content

America's Next Top Midget


Everyone has something they're ashamed of: their middle name, the semester they failed out of college, their secret love for the Jonas Brothers.

On the other hand, I'm not particularly ashamed to admit my love for America's Next Top Model, and I'm not afraid to wave my kitsch flag high. I admit that I have a problem: I hate Tyra, I hate Miss J, I hate Nigel "Pervert" Barker, I hate the fact that the show objectifies women and promotes the ideal that skinny is beautiful.

BUT. I love how awful it is. And sometimes there are some real stunners: Fo from cycle 12, Yoanna from cycle 2, Katarzyna from cycle 10, Elyse from cycle 1. Sometimes they're even successful: Fo recently booked campaigns with Nike, Reebok, Target, and A&F, Yoanna hosts several TV shows, Katarzyna has walked in France's couture fashion week, Elyse is big in Japan (on so many levels!).

Today the finalists for cycle 13 were announced. For the uninitiated, Tyra(nt) declared this season - starting September 9 - to be the "short" season. Only models 5'7" and down may apply. In other words, this is now America's Next Top Midget.

However, where previous seasons have had some, shall we say, unmodelesque girls (Whitney, anyone?), this season's girls are downright stunning. Even though they're short, the bitches look like models! And there are only a couple dogs! It's like the apocalypse has come, with Tyra its unholy leader. The J's are the horsemen. (Nigel is the horse.)

My pre-show favorites are Erin, Bianca, Nicole, Laura, Sundai, and Rae. My guess for the winner? Jennifer. Tyra's been waiting for an Asian winner for 12 seasons now. At this point she'd probably kill off the rest of the contestants to get one. (When Tyra says "judging" this season she really means "execution." Look model-ugly as your head rolls off! FIERCE!)

Where you can see the photos: ONTD.

Who do you like? Who do you think will win?

Comments

  1. agreed. this is my favorite post ever.

    WHAT ABOUT ANNE MARKLEY

    ReplyDelete
  2. GOOD

    Ann was pretty awesome post-show. Pity about her being an epic failure on the show.

    ReplyDelete
  3. i totally ignore it all but the first one really looks like my Great High-School Crush LOL

    ReplyDelete
  4. you... IGNORE... ANTM? *weeps*
    I had a crush on Allison from last season. ugh. she was amazing. (and an internet meme!)

    ReplyDelete
  5. nothing personal, i type from old Europe :D

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"Mon Soleil" - Ashley Park

If there's anything people take away from my piss-poor legacy, I hope it's what a huge, unabashed fan of "Emily in Paris" I am and will continue to be. People love "90 Day Fiancee," "The Bachelor," and other garbage - allow me "Emily," which is at least harmless, kind of goofy fluff (which does, unfortunately, lean into some stereotypes, as the country of Ukraine knows ). I have already watched Season 2 twice. And honestly my favorite part of this show (despite my crush on Camille Razart and Lily Collins channeling Audrey Hepburn hardcore ) is Ashley Park. This woman has superstar written all over her. She's a bona fide Broadway star, and "Emily in Paris" has served as her pivot into the zeitgeist.  "Emily in Paris" is also showcasing her vocal prowess front and center this season, with her covering BTS, "All By Myself," "Sympathtique," and Marilyn Monroe. But the real standout performance is th

Appropriate Holiday Gift Ideas for the Single Lady

While some people may see it as a drag, there are plenty of benefits to being single during the holiday season. During this time of the year, there are tons of parties you can attend that you may not have had the opportunity to if you were in a relationship. There’s also not as much stress on you as a single gal during the holidays because you don’t have to shop for your partner and extended family members  or  stress over where to eat Christmas dinner.  Not everyone sees the bright side of being fancy free during the holidays, and, tragically, they aren't afraid to let us single ladies know. Not only are single women subjected to even more harassment and ridicule during the holiday season, they’re also given the most obnoxious gifts by those who can’t comprehend how anyone can be both happy and single. Whether it’s a self-help book (desperately) trying to reinforce how great is to be single or the gift of a year-long subscription to Match.com , single women are presented with

Give JR a Break

Recently, I've been reading some sites that have criticized James Roday, the lead actor on the USA show PSYCH for an apparent weight gain. But you know what? Who gives a flying fizzle stick if James Roday is slightly larger than he was 4 years ago. Apparently, it wasn't enough to scare away his current girlfriend/ co-star Maggie Lawson. (Who is one hell of a Catch!) And NO they are not engaged. That seems to be nothing more than a rumor, but there is a very high chance of it happening in the near future. Anyway, as long as PSYCH continues to entertain I don't mind about James Roday's waist. He, and Dule Hill, and Corbin Bernson too, can eat all the fried broccoli they want. The last episode of PSYCH wasn't so smashing, but I don't blame it on dietary issues. QATFYG: Are you keeping up with Psych? And who is hotter, James Roday or Maggie Lawson? (Trick Question but idk why) PS: If you have heard any more news on Roday and Lawson becoming Roday-Lawson, send it