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my 4-year-old knows the lyrics to 'take it off' or: Ke$ha on the Today Show

I just have to say, this was of enough importance to me that I put off taking a shower, but not important enough to DVR. You see, Ke$ha would want me dirty/filthy and unable to go back to figure out what the hell just happened.

(amirite?)

I missed the first, oh, minute of 'Tik Tok' because I was brushing my teeth (...TRYING...TO...RESIST...MAKING...AWFUL...JOKE) WITH A BOTTLE OF JACK (/FAIL), but what I did see actually was a little bit impressive. She did not sound terrible. She didn't really sound good, but seriously, only like, Sarah Brightman and Celine Dion sound good in that kind of 'outdoor mini-concert' situation. At one point during 'Take It Off' she was clearly adjusting to find the pitch but she did so within a few beats and then stayed on key. I read somewhere that she can actually sing, and I will go on believing this until something happens (like, say, the Orange Bowl) that proves she is talentless and tone-deaf (Ashlee YOU HAVE OTHER TALENTS MAYBE?).

At one point, she was on her knees, bent over her little keyboard, looking for all intents and purposes like one of those sloshy, drunk chicks on GGW, before one of the camera guys jumps in and gives the girl a 'hand.' (By 'hand' I mean 'cock in the butt.' LOLZ!)

My mother watched, aghast, as Ke$ha did step-aerobic-inspired lunges and shimmied against her scantily clad (...gold hot pants) back-up dancers. Who were, we were probably all discomfitted to realize, men. Or at least, 18 years old. I hope.

...

ANYWAY. Ke$ha's outfit itself, fishnets, tall boots, glittery hot pants and grungy, cut-up shirt, played beautifully off her glitter-painted arms and face (DID SOMEONE GET PAID TO DO THIS? SERIOUSLY, IS SOMEONE GETTING A PAYCHECK BECAUSE THEY PAINTED DOLLAR SIGNS ON HER ARMS?). I mean that. She was dressed like a vagabond member of a Twilight-themed dance team. Also, can I just squeal, OUR NAILS ARE PAINTED THE SAME COLOR!!! I sound derisive, but I swear, I love Ke$ha. Her nails were painted black. Mine are painted black. I love you, Ke$ha. You get me.

The highlight of the whole thing, for me, was when Matt Lauer interviewed her briefly. The invisible thought bubble over her head read: 'HEH. HEH. HEH.' Matt treated her with the same interested equanimity he gives to actual celebrities (and which he apparently forewent with Lilo's mumsies), albeit looking slightly afraid she was going to do something that would sic the FCC on him. I sat there, holding my breath, waiting for her to grab his crotch. No such luck! She just smiled and answered his questions and looked a little spacey. Probably from the glitter paint fumes.

In toto, the whole thing was great, really, really great; a fun little Friday morning romp. But like all morning romps, it would have been a lot better if she had just grabbed Matt Lauer's crotch.

(You can disagree with me, but we all know it was better than whatever happened with the Jonas Brothers, going head-to-head on GMA.)

Comments

  1. I agree! except, in my humble opinion, she should have groped Al Roker. that would have been OFF THE HIZZLE.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I was sold at Glittery hot pants! FTW!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. i didn't see it but i'm sure it was amazing

    ReplyDelete
  4. god, I love it.

    EAT PRAY LOVE THEN ZOOSK AD THEN KE$HA

    that is how you run a blog.

    ReplyDelete
  5. i was gonna post something about obama coming out in favor of that mosque but i didnt want to bump any of these stories for that silliness

    ReplyDelete
  6. right! this is classic-ness. I AM SO PROUD

    ReplyDelete

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