A Review of the VMAs

First off let me start by saying that I didn't watch the VMAs. I didn't know they were on; I had to have my hair done; I'm kind of going through some stuff right now. Don't judge. Don't hate me. Don't hate anyone, just Love. We only get one chance to live in this world, so we might as well do it right.

Secondly, I heard TWO things after the fact. 1) Kanye West yonk yonk wawawawa really good new song. 2) Robyn performed. I will now discuss these in reverse order.

Assuming YouTube didn't take it down yet, here is a video of someone's television watching the VMAs watching Robyn perform. It's a special remix version by some Mickey Mouse looking thing that you are welcome to read about for yourself.

What did you notice about this clip. Oh yeah, Dancing on My Own is not 17 seconds long. Maybe it's just a fluke because some fanatic YouTuber missed part of it. NOPE. The actual VMA website only boasts a slightly longer clip. It's fair to assume this is literally all they played on TV.

But wait, there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Linkin Park rocks Griffin Park in seven minutes. Ksschht *blang*

Now, onto my second point. Kanye West.

Mad dudes on the Internet are saying that this is good. Let me make one thing clear: it is. However, Kanye West has a line in it about taking a picture of his genitals and mailing it to someone on Urban Chat. I'm embellishing, but not by much. I believe that Kanye West takes himself seriously, but I'm not sure that his lyrics always reflect this.

If YouTube takes down these clips, I will literally delete everything in the entire world.

I listened to a few clips of some of the other performances, but I don't know why. Again, you can access these via the VMA website.

Synopsis:

Eminem is back.

Rihanna's hair is no longer black.

Justin Bieber has a knack

for laying the mack

on teens, but it seems

He's just a squeaky Usher.

Drake is running out of tricks

But You Fancy's a crusher.

The guy from Gym Class Heroes can probably rap.

Nicki Minaj should stay off the map.

MTV let her in to keep Wayne happy.

The Swift song was sappy

Remarkably, though, honest.

Ke$ha deserved best artist.

(question marks intentionally omitted)