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PERSON OF THE YEAR

Last year you do not remember me picking the guy that saved a flight from Amsterdam to Detroit. s'okay.

this year was hard! who to pick? WHO TO PICK? Julian Assange? Kate Middleton? Betty White (just for you, Ursula?) UFFIE?!?!?!

oh, that was a hard decision. like Sophie's Choice, really.

then I started pondering this, hard. and the Useless Critic's person of the year was pretty obvious after hard pondering:




why:

“I have. I woke up in Vegas once and there was no toothpaste, but there was some leftover Jack Daniel’s. I figured it would be good for my morning breath.”

“That depends. You’ve got to define ‘party girl.’ If you mean I’m a walking good time, then hells yeah. But I’m not wasted and stumbling out of clubs and getting DUIs. I’m not that kind of party girl. I may be blonde and fun as balls, but I’m not a moron.”

“Oh, yeah. I don’t remember if I’ve ever made out with Katy, but I’ve kissed some b****es in my life.”

“I’m sure you gathered this by now: I just do what I want. Have I made out with chicks? Hell yeah. Did I think it was awesome? Hell yeah. I wouldn’t call myself bi. Like, if I didn’t eat meat for a week, it doesn’t make me a vegetarian. So I like people, and that’s just it. I like people.”

“If I smear glitter on my face, you don’t have a choice – you will be more attracted to me. It’s part of our brand makeup. So anyway, then I started thinking, why just do my eyes? Why not my entire body? And at the end of my shows why don’t I put a backpack on that’s like a hand-held cannon and blast glitter at people? So not only do I look attractive, but so does everybody who’s dancing? It’s kind of like become my thing.”

CASE CLOSED CONGRATULATIONS KE$HA YOU'VE EARNED THIS ONE

Comments

  1. Kesha as person of the year

    Respect

    I wanted to make the dollar sign, but i am not sure how on this keyboard

    anyway respect

    ReplyDelete
  2. clearly a good choice.

    ReplyDelete

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