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Have you heard about the new Zodiac?

The rap geniuses at Zodiac have flipped the script. There are now 13 signs, and your shit is changed. I went from Aries to Pisces. You could too.

Astronomer Parke Kunkle says that due to changes in the Earth's alignment the dates of many zodiac signs have changed, according to NBC. In addition, there may be a 13th Zodiac sign: Ophiuchus.

So this Cosmonaut Parker Posie must be onto something. Here are the new dates:

Capricorn: Jan. 20 - Feb. 16
Aquarius: Feb. 16 - March 11
Pisces: March 11- April 18
Aries: April 18 - May 13
Taurus: May 13 - June 21
Gemini: June 21 - July 20
Cancer: July 20 - Aug. 10
Leo: Aug. 10 - Sept. 16
Virgo: Sept. 16 - Oct. 30
Libra: Oct. 30 - Nov. 23
Scorpio: Nov. 23 - Nov. 29
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29 - Dec. 17 <---- The New Sign Sagittarius: Dec. 17 - Jan. 20

If you used to be one and now you are a different one, you are officially FUCKED. Source: The Huffington Rag.

Onto the traits that are peculiar to an Ophiuchus;

An Interpreter of dreams, who attracts good luck and fruitful blessings. Holds lofty ideals and is a seeker of peace and harmony. Inventive in nature, with expanding qualities. will often seek higher education and wisdom and can end up as an overseer, or supervisor of work. Can rise to fame – either grand, or completely misunderstood. Tends to enjoy longevity and has aspirations of healing the ills of man.

Will reach for the stars, figuratively and literally. For many a large family is indicated, but apt to be separated from them when young. The number twelve holds great significance. Has foresight and good fortune to benefit from hard times. Has secret enemies in family or close associations, with many jealous of this subject.

Often thought of as apple of father’s eye when young. High position in life expected [depending on aspects]. Highest fame and legend often does not come until after death. In general can be wise, even a genius mentality. Likes to wear clothing of vibrant colors, and plaids in particular and often receives the favor of those in authority.


So there you have it. 13 Signs, Hail Satan.



Additionally, check out this list of greatest riffs. They are legit, and you can listen to the songs.
http://www.spinner.com/2011/01/13/rock-guitar-riffs/
http://www.spinner.com/2011/01/13/rock-guitar-riffs-part-two/

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Comments

  1. WE ARE FUCKED

    I am still a Taurus but wtf are the traits of this new sign! so lost!

    p.s. Christine if you read this YOU ARE A TAURUS TOO BITCH

    ReplyDelete
  2. IT SOUNDS LIKE THE ANTICHRIST


    add 2012 as a tag I think this is a sign of doom.

    ReplyDelete
  3. And I would be a Taurus as well
    i dont want to be a taurus

    PS Cosmonaut Parker Posie ftw

    Ophiuchus does sound attractive though

    ReplyDelete

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