Skip to main content

Have you heard about the new Zodiac?

The rap geniuses at Zodiac have flipped the script. There are now 13 signs, and your shit is changed. I went from Aries to Pisces. You could too.

Astronomer Parke Kunkle says that due to changes in the Earth's alignment the dates of many zodiac signs have changed, according to NBC. In addition, there may be a 13th Zodiac sign: Ophiuchus.

So this Cosmonaut Parker Posie must be onto something. Here are the new dates:

Capricorn: Jan. 20 - Feb. 16
Aquarius: Feb. 16 - March 11
Pisces: March 11- April 18
Aries: April 18 - May 13
Taurus: May 13 - June 21
Gemini: June 21 - July 20
Cancer: July 20 - Aug. 10
Leo: Aug. 10 - Sept. 16
Virgo: Sept. 16 - Oct. 30
Libra: Oct. 30 - Nov. 23
Scorpio: Nov. 23 - Nov. 29
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29 - Dec. 17 <---- The New Sign Sagittarius: Dec. 17 - Jan. 20

If you used to be one and now you are a different one, you are officially FUCKED. Source: The Huffington Rag.

Onto the traits that are peculiar to an Ophiuchus;

An Interpreter of dreams, who attracts good luck and fruitful blessings. Holds lofty ideals and is a seeker of peace and harmony. Inventive in nature, with expanding qualities. will often seek higher education and wisdom and can end up as an overseer, or supervisor of work. Can rise to fame – either grand, or completely misunderstood. Tends to enjoy longevity and has aspirations of healing the ills of man.

Will reach for the stars, figuratively and literally. For many a large family is indicated, but apt to be separated from them when young. The number twelve holds great significance. Has foresight and good fortune to benefit from hard times. Has secret enemies in family or close associations, with many jealous of this subject.

Often thought of as apple of father’s eye when young. High position in life expected [depending on aspects]. Highest fame and legend often does not come until after death. In general can be wise, even a genius mentality. Likes to wear clothing of vibrant colors, and plaids in particular and often receives the favor of those in authority.


So there you have it. 13 Signs, Hail Satan.



Additionally, check out this list of greatest riffs. They are legit, and you can listen to the songs.
http://www.spinner.com/2011/01/13/rock-guitar-riffs/
http://www.spinner.com/2011/01/13/rock-guitar-riffs-part-two/

----

Comments

  1. WE ARE FUCKED

    I am still a Taurus but wtf are the traits of this new sign! so lost!

    p.s. Christine if you read this YOU ARE A TAURUS TOO BITCH

    ReplyDelete
  2. IT SOUNDS LIKE THE ANTICHRIST


    add 2012 as a tag I think this is a sign of doom.

    ReplyDelete
  3. And I would be a Taurus as well
    i dont want to be a taurus

    PS Cosmonaut Parker Posie ftw

    Ophiuchus does sound attractive though

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

3 New Lana Songs Come Out From Upcoming Album "Blue Banisters"

Not even that far off from "Chemtrails Over The Country Club" being released this past March, Lana Del Rey dropped three new singles off her upcoming project, "Blue Banisters." They include the title track, "Text Book," and "Wildflower Wildfire." All three songs seem to merge the worlds of "COCC" with "Norman Fucking Rockwell," specifically Lana's mouthful of a track "Hope is a Dangerous Thing for a Woman Like Me To Have But I Have It." They also seem uncharacteristically more confessional than most of Lana's catalog to date, specifically "Wildflower Wildfire," which alludes to a conflict with her mother. She even starts the track with "Here's the deal," readying to show more of her backstory than she ever has in her decade-plus-long career. The three songs are gorgeous - especially "Text Book," which has a haunting quality to it (she mentions "Black Lives Matter" i

Tusse releases French Language Version of "Voices"

In case you missed Eurovision this past weekend - and if you're an American, you likely did - there were some truly talented acts among those competing for this year's prestigious title. There were some pretty boring acts, and there were only a few of truly strange contestants this time around (bummer).  Sweden's act Tusse was pretty talented; his joyful and uplifting track "Voices" was actually one of the few that seemed rather memorable to me. Turns out he's releasing it in French - which makes sense, as Tusse is Kongo-Kinshasa born. Tusse is enormously popular in Sweden from what I can tell, having won both Melodifestivalen (Sweden's precursor to Eurovision) and Swedish Idol. He's a talented guy, and I'm sure we're just seeing the start of what is bound to be a long and prolific career.   (you might not be able to watch this outside of Sweden so, see below) The French version of "Voices" is available for streaming here .  Also, whi

"Round the Bend" - Zoon (Beck cover)

My favorite album of Beck's has long been "Sea Change," for approximately the 20 or so years it's been out. I would probably regard it as one of my personal favorite records, for its wistfulness and its beauty. When I heard about Zoon (aka Zoongide’ewin) - the musical project of Daniel Monkman - covering the "Sea Change" track "Round the Bend," I was somewhat skeptical simply because the album holds such a place in my heart. Now, prior to hearing about this cover, I wasn't so familiar with the work of Zoon. And now, I've got to say, in my best Owen Wilson - Wow.  Apparently we both hold the 2003 Beck album in high esteem. Said Daniel about "Sea Change," "After my first listen I was so moved and at the time I was going through a pretty bad break up and this album helped me process my depression. Throughout my time away from music I’d always have a copy beside me; it kept inspiring me that I could try any kind of music style. I