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The Most Disappointing Film Awards

Consider this the contraire to award season......
I send out these awards to films that have let me down. I am not saying they are the worst ever made. I am just stating that I was rather intrigued or excited to watch them, and by the end, I was quite the opposite.

Warning: This post contains disappointing jokes written by yours truly. The intent is to make the directors of these films feel good by comparison.

Most Disappointing Comedy
Find Me Guilty 2006
This was a film that came from the extremely accomplished director Sidney Lumet. It was praised as the “funniest courtroom comedy since ‘My Cousin Vinnie." Sadly, this film is not funny. I did not find it interesting, and it seemed to me that the characters had no charisma whatsoever.
Find me Guilty? More like Find me a Refund!

Most Disappointing Action-Flick
The Musketeer 2001
The Musketeer has unrealistic fight sequences and over-the-top rather outlandish fencing choreography. This is all topped off with horrible cringe-worthy dialogue and possibly the worst attempts at having a love interest on screen. It is shameful to Dumas.
The Musketeer? More like The Mistake-a-teer!

Most Disappointing Romance-Flick
Cocktail 1988
Here you have Tom Cruise in the days of way back when. There are some decent ideas in the movie, but the fake and sappy wordplay just makes you want to smack your forehead with a rock. From the script to the screen, the quality is poor. If this is a cocktail it is one sour appletini.
Cocktail? More like Cock-Fail!

Most Disappointing Drama
Northern Lights 1997
In this little dramatic blunder you find Diane Keaton bonding with a little boy. Also, there is a man that looks like a rat in it. That is it. It is so boring, and half way through, I couldn’t believe I had to sit through another hour of it. It is a slow-moving picture that is just plain stiff.
Northern Lights? More like Northern Bites!

Other notes:
I have never seen Gigli.
Yes, I chose to leave horror out.
I hate Heather Graham.
The most disappointing sex scene was in “Kingdom of Heaven.”

QATFYG: What is the most disappointing film you have ever seen?
Moreover, did anyone catch a double meaning in cocktail/cock-fail?
That is purely unintentional.

Comments

  1. i came up with that on my own too.
    All those credit hours from the Edinboro English Language Department are finally paying off.

    ReplyDelete
  2. like Apollo Anton OH-NO

    see, see. this is a fun game.

    ReplyDelete
  3. haha
    do you remember that post I wrote,

    Ohio, more like Oh hi F No

    ReplyDelete
  4. good god, that sex scene in kingdom of heaven WAS disappointing! I don't think you could be more right about that. I am starting to get angry, just thinking about it. Didn't Ridley Scott know who he was dealing with? DIDN'T HE SEE THE DREAMERS? EVA GREEN WAS BORN TO GET NAKED ON SCREEN.

    How can you not like Heather Graham? Boogie Nights?

    WILL YOU BE MY MOM? YOU'RE MY MOM! OH MY GOD, YOU'RE MY MOM!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Heather Graham is IMMACULATE. nice choice Cara. Al! why you be hating!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Well, it is kind of how I hate John Cusack........Is there really a good reason?

    I will give you that, Boogie Nights.....roller skates? YES

    ReplyDelete

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