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OSCARS RECAP (two versions)


WITH RYAN, AND SOMETIMES JEFFREY:
    • Ryan Trump I AM HERE
      HOW ARE WE DOING THIS
      about an hour ago · · 1 person
    • Brittany Kemp HOWEVER! INCEPTION!
      about an hour ago ·
    • Ryan Trump HOW THE FUCK DID HANS ZIMMER LOSE? THE SOCIAL NETWORK'S SCORE SOUNDS LIKE A SAXON SHORE KNOCKOFF.
      about an hour ago · · 1 person
    • Ryan Trump CATE BLANCHETT IS MY FAVORITE LIVING ACTRESS!
      about an hour ago · · 1 person
    • Brittany Kemp SERIOUSLY, HOW WAS BLACK SWAN NOT NOMINATED FOR SCORE AND CATE IS A GODDESS
      about an hour ago ·
    • Ryan Trump EVERYBODY DICK-RIDES THE SOCIAL NETWORK. I DON'T GET IT.
      about an hour ago ·
    • Ryan Trump JAMES FRANCO WAS IN DRAG (♫ JUST BE A QUEEN ♫)!
      about an hour ago ·
    • Ryan Trump RANDY NEWMAN MAKES ME WANNA KICK A CARP AND PUNCH A SEAL. JUST SAYIN'. I FUCKING HATE HIS ♫HERPY-DERP-SHERP♫ SINGING VOICE!
      about an hour ago · · 2 people
    • Brittany Kemp good lyrics, BAD BAD VOICE
      JAMES IS AWESOME although I admit I KIND OF HATE HIM
      about an hour ago ·
    • Jeffrey Petit-Bois ALEXANDRE DESPLAT SHOULD OF WON SORRY! HIS SCORE WAS THE SHIZZLE!
      about an hour ago · · 1 person
    • Ryan Trump AMY ADAMS ALERT!!
      about an hour ago · · 1 person
    • Ryan Trump JEFF, I HAVEN'T SEEN THE KING'S SPEECH, BUT I KNOW THE SCORE IS MUCH BETTER THAN THE SOCIAL NETWORK'S.
      about an hour ago · · 2 people
    • Jeffrey Petit-Bois OH AND THAT LITTLE GIRL FROM TRUE GRIT SHE'S GONNA BE SOMETHING, WATCH! SHE CAN ACT BETTER THAN LOADS OF SO CALLED ACTRESSES.
      about an hour ago · · 1 person
    • Brittany Kemp OMG SHE'S SO GOOD
      SHE'S A LEGEND
      about an hour ago · · 1 person
    • Brittany Kemp AMY IS FLAWLESS, SHE'S LIKE VENUS
      about an hour ago ·
    • Jeffrey Petit-Bois YOU GOTTA SEE IT RYAN! SO FREAKIN AWESOME AND MOST OF THE HARRY POTTER CAST ARE IN THE MOVIE SINCE ITS A BRITISH FILM LOL!
      about an hour ago · · 1 person
    • Jeffrey Petit-Bois BRIT, SHE REALLY IS! AMAZING GIRL!
      about an hour ago · · 1 person
    • Ryan Trump A HARRY POTTER AUTO-TUNED MUSICAL! NICE.
      about an hour ago · · 2 people
    • Brittany Kemp he doesn't have a shirt
      about an hour ago ·
    • Ryan Trump YEP. WE'LL BE HEARING MORE FROM HAILEE STEINFELD IN THE FUTURE. DEFINITELY. SHE HAS NATALIE PORTMAN POTENTIAL.
      about an hour ago · · 2 people
    • Brittany Kemp THE STICK BY WE MEASURE EVERYONE, CAN I POST THIS ON THE USELESS CRITIC LATER
      about an hour ago · · 1 person
    • Ryan Trump GOD IS IN THE BUILDING!
      "YOU GET AN ARK! YOU GET AN ARK! YOU GET AN ARK! YOU GET AN ARK! YOU GET AN ARK!"
      about an hour ago · · 1 person
    • Jeffrey Petit-Bois I GOTTA ADMIT THO, I LOVE THE SOCIAL NETWORK! THE SCORE SUCKS BUT PRETTY GOOD MOVIE.
      about an hour ago ·
    • Jeffrey Petit-Bois omg! AND THESE FOREIGN FILMS LOOKED SO INTERESTING. IM CHECK THEM OUT WHEN I CAN.
      about an hour ago · · 1 person
    • Ryan Trump POST, BK—POST! USELESS CRITIC—FOR LIFE!
      about an hour ago ·
    • Ryan Trump THAT DENMARK ONE 'IN A BETTER WORLD' LOOKS GREAT. I'LL NETFLIX THAT SHIT.
      about an hour ago · · 1 person
    • Ryan Trump WHAT'S A BILLY CRYSTAL?
      about an hour ago · · 1 person
    • Ryan Trump I KID. HE WAS GREAT IN NATIONAL LAMPOON'S VACATION.
      about an hour ago ·
    • Ryan Trump LOL
      I MEANT 'HARRY AND THE HENDERSONS'.
      about an hour ago · · 1 person
    • Ryan Trump WHY ARE WE EULOGIZING COB POPE?
      about an hour ago ·
    • Ryan Trump I KID. HIS U.S.O. SHOWS WERE GREAT. HE FUCKING GOLFED.
      about an hour ago ·
    • Ryan Trump ROBERT DOWNEY, JR. THAT IS ALL.
      about an hour ago · · 1 person
    • Ryan Trump FUCK YEAH! 'INCEPTION' WINS AGAIN!
      about an hour ago ·
    • Brittany Kemp omg, Bob Hope SAID JUDE LAW
      ~ psychic ~
      about an hour ago ·
    • Ryan Trump BTW, JAMES FRANCO IS LIVE-TWEETING! AMAZING, MUCH?
      about an hour ago ·
    • Ryan Trump AN EARLIER POST: Kirk Douglas is so old that he looks animatronic.
      about an hour ago · · 1 person
    • Brittany Kemp all the douglases are hot
      o hai michael
      about an hour ago ·
    • Brittany Kemp ANNETTE BENING THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT CONNECTION
      about an hour ago ·
    • Ryan Trump OH, AND DID JUSTIN MOCK HIM? WHAT A DICK. OH, WELL, HE'LL PROBABLY FUCK MILA, LATER. :/
      about an hour ago · · 1 person
    • Brittany Kemp I wish I were that Justin.
      J-HUD! she's a survivor.
      about an hour ago ·
    • Ryan Trump ‎"'How to Train Your Dragon'? That's disgusting." – James Franco
      *LOL*
      about an hour ago · · 1 person
    • Brittany Kemp RISQUE
      about an hour ago ·
    • Ryan Trump this Florence + Machine chick is OK. I'm not jacking-off, or anything.
      about an hour ago · · 1 person
    • Brittany Kemp CAN SOMEONE DRIVE A STAKE THROUGH GWYNETH'S HEART
      about an hour ago ·
    • Ryan Trump Jennifer Hudson is awesome.
      Gwyneth Paltrow: "This next track is called, 'Apricots, Boredom and Peaches'."
      59 minutes ago · · 1 person
    • Ryan Trump Yay!!! Merp-dwerpy-gerp jackfuck just won!
      58 minutes ago ·
    • Ryan Trump ♫ Some people don't like ♫ . . .Randy Newman!
      57 minutes ago · · 1 person
    • Brittany Kemp good lyrics BAD BAD BAD VOICE
      56 minutes ago ·
    • Ryan Trump ‎'Smile'? Michael died, again?
      52 minutes ago ·
    • Brittany Kemp these always make me sad :(
      seriously, I'm a sap!
      49 minutes ago ·
    • Ryan Trump Halle Berry has short hair. *lesbian joke*
      *Brittany swoons*
      48 minutes ago · · 1 person
    • Brittany Kemp ‎;)
      47 minutes ago ·
    • Ryan Trump ‎#DiedDeadMontage I know. Blake Edwards was fucking awesome! As was Dennis Hopper and Leslie Nielsen!
      46 minutes ago · · 1 person
    • Brittany Kemp don't call me shirley
      do you think annie is watching?
      43 minutes ago ·
    • Brittany Kemp oh look it's hilary I DIE IN EVERYTHING swank
      43 minutes ago ·
    • Ryan Trump And can we please note that James Franco stole Beetlejuice's 1950s tuxedo?
      42 minutes ago ·
    • Ryan Trump Annie is always happy. She makes me happy. It's 4AM there. I hope so! ♥♥♥ our Nordic queen!
      41 minutes ago ·
    • Ryan Trump this guy looks like an anteater. #justsayin
      41 minutes ago · · 1 person
    • Ryan Trump I'm not Australian. Shut up, already!
      40 minutes ago · · 1 person
    • Ryan Trump He changed! As did Anne—like, after every damn commercial. That sapphire dress is insanely beautiful!
      38 minutes ago · · 1 person
    • Ryan Trump fuck this! give a standing-on-your-chairs ovation!
      37 minutes ago · · 1 person
    • Ryan Trump WTF, ANNE? WHY DIDN'T YOU CHANGE?
      33 minutes ago · · 1 person
    • Brittany Kemp I'm attracted to her OMG NATS
      33 minutes ago ·
    • Ryan Trump Jeff Bridges. Now there's a guy you'd donate your internal organs to.
      32 minutes ago · · 1 person
    • Brittany Kemp SAME
      31 minutes ago ·
    • Ryan Trump ‎'The Kids Are on Life Support'. *LULZ*
      31 minutes ago ·
    • Ryan Trump NATALIE PORTMAN ALERT!!
      30 minutes ago · · 1 person
    • Brittany Kemp ‎:) FAPPPP
      29 minutes ago ·
    • Ryan Trump OMG! OMG!! OMG!!! I'M FUCKING EXCITED!!!
      29 minutes ago ·
    • Ryan Trump YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!
      28 minutes ago ·
    • Ryan Trump AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
      NATALIE!!!!!!
      28 minutes ago · · 1 person
    • Brittany Kemp I CRAPPED MYSELF
      26 minutes ago · · 1 person
    • Brittany Kemp colinnnnnn
      16 minutes ago ·
    • Ryan Trump James' closing thoughts: 'Whatever. I'm gonna go get my dick sucked.'



      WITH URSULA
      ursula: did you like Mila's dress?
      me: YES
      sorry i'm biased
      9:23 PM what did you think?
      scarjo looks like a towel
      ursula: hahaha WHAT
      i didn't see her
      a TOWEL??
      me: SHE HAS PATCHES EVERYWHERE
      9:25 PM ursula: oh god
      me: james
      nice
      9:26 PM ursikai: wow, helen and russell, that's an odd combination
      me: helen:
      i can't believe i've succumbed to this
      oh ursula, would you be vehemently opposed to me using this as useless critic oscar coverage
      ursula: do it!!!!!
      9:27 PM you and me: official oscar critics
      me: YES
      "i don't read movies"
      oh algeria got a nom
      that's rare
      ursula: what was the catetory? foreign?
      ah
      okay
      9:28 PM me: denmark?
      go bicycle country!
      she sounds english
      9:30 PM oh christian bale
      he's such a douche
      ursula: WOW, BEARD
      me: did anyone even see winter's bone?
      seriously
      ursikai: nope
      me: who you pulling for lady
      9:31 PM ursula: i don't know. i haven't seen any of these
      me: i saw two
      i need to see the king's speech
      ursula: geoffrey rush!!
      oh me too
      i'm dying to see it
      me: we should see it!
      dollar theater?
      9:32 PM oh reese laughed
      sigh
      ursikai: YES PLEASE

      ursula: !!
      9:40 PM anne, your hair?
      me: seriously
      oh god, two aussies together
      why couldn't they find a cambodian
      i do like these historical montages
      A+
      ursula: i do too
      do they always do that?
      me: sometimes
      9:41 PM it depends
      this year it's really heavy on it i think
      i mean it's easy to dismiss movies as this meaningless enterprise
      but like
      there's such a good back story
      ursula: oh totally
      THEY REFLECT HUMANITY etc.
      me: TONIGHT THERE WILL BE NO MORNING STAR
      /west side story
      9:42 PM ursula: i vote for dragon's score
      me: inception
      to be honest
      trent reznor, though
      LOCAL BOY
      9:43 PM ursula: ooh
      me: black swan had a really good score
      but it's not up
      YEAH MEADVILLE
      9:44 PM ursula: yay Crawford County!
      me: he's played at edinboro
      9:45 PM EDINBORO CONNECTION HOLLA
      ursula: really!
      me: does trent have an asian wife?
      yeah!!!
      they used to do a bunch of shows at nin
      err, edinboro
      he went to allegheny for a year
      ursula: is that the towel dress?
      me: YES
      9:46 PM what do you think of it
      ursula: it's so ugly!
      me: oh, here's a quote for you
      the recession is exciting!- natalie portman
      she's so pretty and gahhhh who dressed you, helen keller
      ursula: lol
      9:51 PM ursula: costume design awards!
      i am a sucker for that
      me: omg! there were so many good ones this year
      ursula: yes
      9:55 PM me: CATE
      ursula: i love her!
      I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS BRITISH
      9:56 PM me: AHHHH
      SHE'
      IS PERFECT!
      i think wolfman btw
      ha!
      ursula: her dress looks like a seashell
      me: yeah
      ursula: but she pulls it off
      me: too mermaidy
      she's perfect
      like, she's beautiful and you can tell
      intelligent
      9:57 PM i maen sh\
      i mean she
      sorry
      pulled off bob dylan!
      ursula: i know!!!!!
      i need to see that too
      me: ME TOO
      9:58 PM i am love!
      patricia clarkson
      i want to be her when i'm 50
      ursula: i didn't see it!
      9:59 PM me: me neither! i was supposed to see it at mercyhurst
      10:00 PM ursula: shut up colleen
      10:01 PM me: seriously
      i have to say falling slowly
      once is a good movie
      although i do like titanic for some reason, a lot
      10:02 PM ursula: obama?!
      i admit i love time of my life
      me: kevin spacey, sigh
      i will always kind of love him
      10:03 PM the black eyed peas KILLED that song
      ursula: this is the craziest oscars i have ever seen
      me: the BEST oscars
      i have been watching since elementary school
      10:04 PM when i became obsessed with celebrities because my peers were boring
      truth
      ursula: oh god
      i understand!!
      10:05 PM me: ewww @ this music
      10:06 PM ursula: i know
      10:07 PM mandy moore?
      are you still relevant?
      i feel so snarky tonight, i'm sorry
      me: HAHAHAHAHA
      it's okay
      she isn't
      she's married to ryan adams
      10:08 PM that's about the last i heard of her
      ursikai: yeah, i haven't heard about her in years

      ursula: aww, i missed that part
      10:41 PM now that is a dress i love
      poor men
      they get nothing to wear but tuxes
      10:42 PM me: omg, florence?
      wtf
      i know right
      and you have to be a good man to pull one off
      otherwise you look award
      ursula: i know!
      10:43 PM me: akward
      awkward
      well i can type
      florence?
      j. hudson looks good
      ursula: she really does
      10:44 PM me: she's gone through a lotttt
      ursula: UH OH YOUR FAVORITE LADY
      me: GOD
      SHE'S SINGING TOO
      WOW LET ME FAN MYSELF
      ursula: gwyneth paltrow + country = ??
      10:45 PM me: RIGHT
      10:47 PM okay i like randy newman
      but his voice
      ugh
      ursula: i know!
      10:48 PM like he has a perpetual cold
      me: seriously
      blow your damn nose
      ursula: hahahah
      very sweet guy, though

      7 minutes
      10:55 PM me: i always get so depressed during the obits
      we all die!
      but celine? wtf
      10:56 PM ursula: aaahhhh i know
      me: lol halle berry
      ursula: has she been in a movie anytime recent?
      i feel like not
      me: NOPE
      10:57 PM her mom has a home in erie
      ursula: random?

      me: i want him to get it, but david fincher will
      YESSS
      WHOA

      5 minutes
      11:08 PM ursikai: what did those guys do?
      who are they?
      me: i have no idea
      NATALIE PORTMAN IS COMING UP
      ursula: !!!!!!
      does she have a bump yet?
      i want to see a bump
      11:09 PM me: awww
      i love that she met him on the set of the movie
      he's really good-looking to
      o
      go nats!
      ursula: i love that too
      11:10 PM me: a male ballerina!
      i can't believe she left zach braff for that :P
      ursula: HAHA
      11:12 PM me: NATS!
      omg annette
      heartbreaking
      she's not going to win
      11:13 PM rabbit hole?
      ursula: didn't see it
      11:14 PM me: who did!
      11:15 PM AHH THERE SHE IS
      11:16 PM i just died
      11:17 PM ursula: me too!!!!!
      me: SHE'S GONNA CRY
      11:19 PM ursula: ANNE
      WHY
      me: I KNOW
      I KNOW
      11:20 PM ursula: they will never ask her again
      me: that color is so bad
      my brother is watching this with me
      how weird
      what does your dad say
      11:21 PM ursula: in general?
      me: about the oscars?
      ursula: not much lately
      he pegged natalie
      but everyone did
      11:22 PM awww I love Jeff Bridges
      me: :D
      me too
      eww jesse
      11:23 PM ursula: not a fan?
      me: nope
      but i like sandra is doing this
      ursula: me too. she's really classy right now
      11:24 PM me: god
      i love her
      go you bitch
      11:25 PM ursula: i love her too
      COLIN!!!!!!!
      me: :D :D :D
      11:26 PM he's so humble, which i like
      ursula: i do too
      i loved him in love actually
      11:28 PM me: :D
      YES
      ursula: so sweet!
      11:29 PM me: ps22!!!! <3
      i love colin
      his personality made me a fan
      ursula: i do too!
      i know!
      11:31 PM me: :)
      11:32 PM social network?
      ursula: probably king's speech
      11:33 PM me: i liked kids are all right and the fighter and black swan and true grit
      but
      prob social network or king's speech
      11:34 PM ursula: yes
      11:35 PM me: poor toy story
      never had a chance
      ahh
      omg
      11:36 PM ursula: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      yay!
      11:37 PM me: :)
      your closing thoughts?
      11:38 PM ursula: why does Helena look so mad?
      now she doesn't
      11:39 PM me: she's married to tim burton
      maybe?
      11:40 PM ursula: is she???
      omg
      that makes so much sense!
      me: lmao
      11:41 PM whoa anne
      trying to be a trashbag
      ursula: ANNE IS ELEVEN YEARS OLD

      in conclusion, what a strange year!

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