Skip to main content

dancing with the STAHHHHS


Dancing with the Stars

first thoughts: WHYYYYYY second thoughts: I'M IN SO MUCH PAIN RIGHT NOW third thoughts: "THIS IS THE JIVE; I DIDN'T SEE JIVE."


fun fact about the jive: "the jive" was actually an STD WWII soldiers brought home with them after being stationed in the Pacific. it was slowly spread in the baby boom period following WWII because these men wanted to have sex and these women wanted to be housewives. the dance mimicked the gestures of furiously seeking "relief of the genitals." fact!!!!


anyway, I have to say, Kendra's breakdown was quite real. seriously, I felt that in my body, that for her to be seen not as strictly as a "tomboy" and become a "lady" with "confidence"- that was like, Precious-like moving. this is what I remember of it: "PEOPLE THINK I'M THIS PLAYBOY CONFIDENT GIRL AND I'M JUST I'M JUST NOT HER OH MY GOD PEOPLE I JUST WANT TO BE A LADY."


see who does NOT have this thought: Chaz Bono


the judges were really harsh last night! like they were chopping down on the contestants like it was the French Revolution and everyone was Marie Antoinette. poor Kendra, I feel like she's going to go in the next three weeks. the tanned douchebag is going tonight. MARK MY WORDS. no one got much higher than an 8.


I think that was Ralph Macchio/the Karate Kid/Johnny Cade ("DO IT FOR JOHNNY, MAN.") He's my pick to win. that boy can DANCE. he's like Fred Astaire! so dapper and he just glides! I love him, I really do. plus does he look a day over 30? sigh.


Kirstie Alley is doing a great job, too. like, a commendably great job.

here's my timeline with her:

- 1990s: I loved her! she was sassy and pretty and cool and I, I was impressionable.

- 2000s: eh, she's all right. not doing much though.

- late 2000s: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED

- 2010: Al and I encounter her on an episode of Ellen that's on in some Swede's living room. I crouch down outside the window to watch Kirstie and Ellen laugh, in gaiety, together. so she's been obnoxious but Fat Actress was underrated (I said it! I said it!) and she's coming across as likable on this! like, just very genuine and good-intentioned. I kind of want her to win, too. fuck you George Lopez YOU DON'T NOW SHIT.


Hines Ward is definitely a contender. so is that boxer. Sugar Ray...? I would think. CAN'T REMEMBER ANYONE ELSE SORRY.


in other news, Anoraak is playing DC on May 4th for five dollars. he tweeted back to me again so I need to get to this show so we can married. Erie got Megabus. I am a happy, happy girl.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

"Chang-E" - Emmy the Great (new album out 10/9)

Emmy the Great drops her new album tomorrow on Bella Union - the fastest album she says she's ever created.  "April /月音" was completed after a trip to to her birth city Hong Kong in 2017. In early 2018, Emmy the Great made "April /月音" in a two-week period in Brooklyn - which was delayed for release until now because of her maternity leave. After recording this album, Emmy moved (for good) back to Hong Kong.  Since her original trip to Hong Kong, things have become quite tumultuous there. Said Emmy. "I’ll never know why the city called me back, but I know what it gave me. In return, I want to give it this album. That Mid-Autumn, nobody could have predicted what was to come, neither the atomization that began with the anti-Extradition Law protests in June 2019, nor the struggle for democracy that continues now, through the Covid-19 pandemic. To witness your birth city in its greatest moment of need is a powerful, humbling event, and I know I watched Hong Kong

Give JR a Break

Recently, I've been reading some sites that have criticized James Roday, the lead actor on the USA show PSYCH for an apparent weight gain. But you know what? Who gives a flying fizzle stick if James Roday is slightly larger than he was 4 years ago. Apparently, it wasn't enough to scare away his current girlfriend/ co-star Maggie Lawson. (Who is one hell of a Catch!) And NO they are not engaged. That seems to be nothing more than a rumor, but there is a very high chance of it happening in the near future. Anyway, as long as PSYCH continues to entertain I don't mind about James Roday's waist. He, and Dule Hill, and Corbin Bernson too, can eat all the fried broccoli they want. The last episode of PSYCH wasn't so smashing, but I don't blame it on dietary issues. QATFYG: Are you keeping up with Psych? And who is hotter, James Roday or Maggie Lawson? (Trick Question but idk why) PS: If you have heard any more news on Roday and Lawson becoming Roday-Lawso

Lilith help me, I want to stake the second episode of True Blood!

Episode 2: Authority Always Wins Well here we are again, time to sink our twin hard-ons into the new episode! Before I get into the thick of things, again I must let you know HERE BE MASSIVE SPOILERS. And I’m going to recap this by the characters instead of a timeline account, because not much happens in this episode.