595 words on "Judas."

As of yesterday, our dear Lady Gaga released her second single from her big new album that will be out this May ("Born This Way," her eponymous kick-off, which the radio is now playing to death and back). Cher tweeted (raved) about how much SHE LOVED THE TRACK. I am on Lady Gaga's email list (yes) so I got the link to the free download. Allegedly free anyway- every time I click to download, I'm prompted to itunes to PAY FOR A DOWNLOAD. And no, no, NO. sorry Gaga but times are tough right now.

Before I went ahead and did the nasty deed- like sexing a dog- I got other people's feedback. Because I, as an American and a pseudo-hipster, do not think for myself. I rather have other people do this (note: I am also a middle class white girl, go ahead and make your judgments).

People said varieties of the same thing: plays on a theme. Gaga is doing what's she done before, essentially. It's not a sin. It's not a crime. (now I feel like I'm writing her lyrics- where is my crazy beat at!)

Well, unless you are a hardcore Catholic or Christian in general. Then, you may be the smallest bit offended by LG's newest stunt. That girl likes to try and outdo herself, that's for sure! I am neither: I am a Christian, but I realize Lady Gaga for what she is. She likes to push boundaries, rip open the creative envelope, do what she believes hasn't been done before.

I hear a few names ringing through my ears: Madonna, David Bowie, Roisin Murphy, Goldfrapp...

Gaga does have her own really weird gimmick. I appreciate it because I hold it at arm's length and do not try to take it seriously. Like, I get she feels she has a message. And "Born This Way" was a great idea, an anthem of acceptance. In a time where a lot of youth are facing this issue, because in a climate that should be a lot more tolerant than it actually is, it's nice to have such a renowned figure come out and preach loving yourself for who you are. Etc.

That felt like an after school soapbox, right? Wow. Moving on then!

When she tries to get more complex than that- she's very sincere-seeming in her interviews, I will say, very much like "I KNOW WHAT I AM DOING I AM IN CHARGE I HAVE A GREATER MISSION." I respect her for that! But honestly, I think the girl needs to take a step back and um, chill.

So the song itself. Let's get to that. It seems the hype is always more exciting than the actual song. It's the concept of being a sentimentalist. The best way to describe that is what I read in "This Side of Paradise" by F. Scott Fitzgerald, or at least what I THINK I read, is that you appreciate the anticipation of an event moreso than the actual event. Which is what I am, really. You care more about looking forward to the ice cream then eating the ice cream. Because once it's over, well...you might just have a headache and upset your stomach.

People were saying, "oh, it's 'Bad Romance' all over again." She's not breaking any new ground. Gaga knows the formula that best suits her now; she will not stray TOO far from the tried and true. It's dancey, it's catchy, it's very 'Haus of Gaga.'

Yes, yes. And I listened to it.

All I had to say is: what the fuck.

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The Useless Critic 2.0

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