KATIE COURIC TO LEAVE CBS?????

okay so it's well-known by now in some circles the fondness I have for current television news anchors. I mean, I'll be frank with you, right now it's all about Diane Sawyer for me. I love her. not in a creepy "I want her" way- although she is a beautiful older woman- she just calms me. I want to hug her and have tea with her. that kind of way. but Katie was my first love. Katie was the first person that I saw on the news who made me feel like despite the world falling apart around me, it would all somehow work itself out. the knots would come undone- the sky would not cave in. I would not be killed by anthrax or a hijacked plane. get what I'm saying? Katie was very much a big part of my life in the years between being 9 and 15. When I got to high school, the morning show love affairs stopped. I couldn't watch Katie and Matt and Al and Anne anymore. God I bet other people have the same memories I do. I remember Al when he was still fat; I remember when Joan London and Charlie Gibson were on Good Morning America! sigh but I also remember when Dan Rather landed his silly ass in hot water back in high school. I don't remember what it was about, um, comments about Bush, maybs (I hope that catches on)? then Katie had to abandon the Today Show. and my heart went broken, because we had magical summer vacations to keep each other company on. Iraq, Afghanistan, color terror alerts...oh I remember it well... then, in the stairwell at McDowell Senior High School, in 2006, when I heard Katie was on the evening news. I knew then this could either go one or two ways. I mean, Katie Couric on the evening news may have worked, but let's face the age-old question, almost asked by Frasier once: WHO WATCHES CBS? forgive me, forgive me, ghost of Murrow, but I never watch CBS if I can avoid it. and I think that's what did Katie in- she went to the weakest of the three major primetime news shows. now I think she did commendable work on CBS, but once I discovered how wonderful and sincere Diane Sawyer was (I mean there is something about the news anchor a la the impeccable Mr. Gibson before her, who would cock his head lovingly at the screen with his eyes pierced RIGHT at you, like "and I hope you have a good night"- aw, it reduces me to goop inside!)....my love affair with Katie dwindled. so now she's bon voyage and shit and no one will still watch CBS, save for the occasional sitcom and whatever weirdoes watch NCIS. the rumor mill says: Katie is eyeing an afternoon spot. you know why this is? because Oprah is going off the air! derrr! she's not dumb. I personally think she could be the next Oprah, but in the respect she'd have a respected talk show...I sincerely doubt she'd try to take over the world a la Oprah. I don't understand why ever when I'm angry my ipod subjects me to the Carpenters. shut up Karen, this is no time for you.

question: WHY DO BIRDS APPEAR WHENEVER KATIE IS NEAR?

Give JR a Break

Recently, I've been reading some sites that have criticized James Roday, the lead actor on the USA show PSYCH for an apparent weight gain. But you know what? Who gives a flying fizzle stick if James Roday is slightly larger than he was 4 years ago. Apparently, it wasn't enough to scare away his current girlfriend/ co-star Maggie Lawson. (Who is one hell of a Catch!) And NO they are not engaged. That seems to be nothing more than a rumor, but there is a very high chance of it happening in the near future. Anyway, as long as PSYCH continues to entertain I don't mind about James Roday's waist. He, and Dule Hill, and Corbin Bernson too, can eat all the fried broccoli they want. The last episode of PSYCH wasn't so smashing, but I don't blame it on dietary issues. QATFYG: Are you keeping up with Psych? And who is hotter, James Roday or Maggie Lawson? (Trick Question but idk why) PS: If you have heard any more news on Roday and Lawson becoming Roday-Lawson, send it

No Time to Fuck: The Goldfrapp Essay

Konnichiwa! This is Irina Cummings and I'm here to discuss one of the most brilliant, innovative, and creative artists in the entire history of mankind: Goldfrapp – or as I like to call them , GODfrapp – the fantastique, highly inspirational, and sometimes criminally overlooked electronic music duo from London consisting of Alison Goldfrapp and Will Gregory, whose godly music has certainly influenced the vast majority of today's synthpop ladies, including Lady Gaga, Little Boots, La Roux, Annie and Florence + the Machine (not electro but still worth your while). They're primarily known for their mind-blowing music (which have spanned pretty much every style of electronic music – and some non-electronic as well), their abstract, sexually ambiguous – at times forthright – lyrics which are often not gender- specific , and their elaborate shows, not to mention the amazing visual aesthetics of their work, conjuring images that masterly complement

An Open Letter to the Actress: Milena Govich

Dear Milena Govich, Hey, how are you? What is up? Well, I assume you might get 5-7 fan letters a week, but I hope the glitter on my envelope stood out to you. In all seriousness, I have not been the most loyal fan of your filmography, but in the opening credits of the 2006 show, “Conviction,” I got to see you in your underwear. Ever since then, I have been one of your most active online stalkers (not a crime in all states I think). In the next letter, I promise to include an underwear photo for you, so we'll be even. Milena, I remember even back to the days when you worked on one of those other 200 Dick Wolf projects you did...what was the name of that show? “Law and Order.” Yes, that was it. You made history as playing the first female lead detective on the “Law and Order” original franchise for your role as Detective Cassidy. However, I will have to note your performance was strongly tainted when Chevy Chase guest-starred and gave you the nickname, “Detective Sugar-Tits.” At leas

The Useless Critic 2.0

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