Skip to main content

how you should spend mother's day

Take your mom to see Thor. Marvel at Chris Hemsworth or Natalie Portman or both. I mean, it's your choice, and I'm not judging.

Make her listen to Tyler the Creator with you. If there's anything Mom is sure to love, it's lyrics like:
I'm not gay, I just wanna boogie to some Marvin
(What you think of Hayley Williams?) Fuck her, Wolf Haley robbing them
I'll crash that fucking airplane that that faggot nigga B.o.B is in

And stab Bruno Mars in his goddamn esophagus
And won't stop until the cops come in

I'm an over achiever, so how about I start a team of leaders
And pick up Stevie Wonder to be the wide receiver?


Take her to Applebee's
or Red Lobster
or Chili's
WHICHEVER SHE LIKES. TODAY IS HER DAY.

Tell her you admire her for having a human come out of her vagina, because that's not ever happening here (points to self).

Make her watch the "Judas" video:



count all pop culture references! WASH YOUR FEET WITH MY HAIR BITCH


better yet, do all these things, mourn Oprah's departure, and go to Kohl's together and buy tennis shoes.

Comments

  1. I want to punch Tyler the Creator in the face.

    ReplyDelete
  2. why is he really popular? I think he's sometimes clever, but meh.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Because Kanye West posted his video on Twitter.

    ReplyDelete
  4. And hipsters like him no offense.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I don't really go out of my way to be a hipster? I just kind of like the same music they do? anyway, I read his tweets, he seems like a dbag. I don't know why Lykke is dating him. tsk tsk.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Tyler is the new backpacker hiphop and the same people are falling for it again.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"Anchors" - AM Higgins

Here's a nice breezy, almost sensual song from AM Higgins (the solo project of musician Annie Toth) to start your Tuesday off right.  Her debut album "Hymning" will be out November 5th on Victorialand Records. The album was mixed by Casey Foubert, a frequent collaborator of Sufjan Stevens. The album "captures the first years of moving from an American city to rural France." Sounds like "Hymning" will be a welcome escape from the world we live in right now, especially considering that Annie Toth counts poets Mary Oliver and Thomas Merton as influences.

"Mon Soleil" - Ashley Park

If there's anything people take away from my piss-poor legacy, I hope it's what a huge, unabashed fan of "Emily in Paris" I am and will continue to be. People love "90 Day Fiancee," "The Bachelor," and other garbage - allow me "Emily," which is at least harmless, kind of goofy fluff (which does, unfortunately, lean into some stereotypes, as the country of Ukraine knows ). I have already watched Season 2 twice. And honestly my favorite part of this show (despite my crush on Camille Razart and Lily Collins channeling Audrey Hepburn hardcore ) is Ashley Park. This woman has superstar written all over her. She's a bona fide Broadway star, and "Emily in Paris" has served as her pivot into the zeitgeist.  "Emily in Paris" is also showcasing her vocal prowess front and center this season, with her covering BTS, "All By Myself," "Sympathtique," and Marilyn Monroe. But the real standout performance is th

"Happy New Year"- Let's Eat Grandma

There's no way to start the New Year like some extremely upbeat music about the New Year! That's where this new synthpop-heavy single from the British duo Let's Eat Grandma comes into play. It's a delightful song, and it helps increase any excitement about their third album, "Two Ribbons," which will be out this April. I personally am looking forward to hearing more from Let's Eat Grandma, who deserve way more attention than they currently get. Hopefully, 2022 will be a big year for them. Here's one of their older tracks I quite like: