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Why the Rapture Did Not Happen, by Phil

A lot of people must be wondering: why am I still here? Wasn't Jesus supposed to swoop me up in his arms like a motherless child?




Well I have to say that if I were indeed Jesus (like rumors through the years have implied) I might skip town, too. 


I asked Phil, all-around interesting fellow, why the Rapture was not May 21st 2011. This is what Phil had to say:


1) I sat at Rack N Roll this night wondering the same thing. Then some old lady got up and started singing some horseshit country song like she was 20, and at that moment I realized the Rapture had occurred and I am in Hell.


2.) My name's Phill Ross. I like to wear leather outfits and nipple clamps in my free time. 


 3) It doesn't matter because the world is ending in December of 2012. I think.




Well there you have it, although I do wonder if God kept us here to watch SNL last night. 


Your thoughts?


p.s. sorry Iceland

Comments

  1. I...is that...supposed to be James Franco?

    ReplyDelete
  2. IDK

    BUT IT PROBABLY IS

    THAT BITCH IS STALKING ME

    ReplyDelete
  3. once I start getting my income together, THAT APPLICATION IS ON LIKE A CONDOM THAT IS NOT ON ARNOLD'S PEEN

    ReplyDelete

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