Skip to main content

Make your own Smurf joke.

Hello, my name is Ryan and I have a girlfriend now.

This has been an official thing (or rather, she sent the request on Facebook, which totally makes it official) since Monday I think it was. I've been dating this girl for maybe a month or so, but it's not the same as her being your girlfriend, it turns out. I'm not sure why.

We did, however, skip the "meeting" phase. I've heard people talk about how they're meeting someone, so of course I ask when and where and all the juicy gossip stuff, and it turns out meeting is a relationship status here now. From what I can understand, this thing is a little more serious than just hanging out, but not as serious as going on a date. I didn't know it was needed, but hey, the average relationship of a 15 year old has now increased to 4 days here so it must be working.

But yes, Ryan has a girlfriend! She's a lovely girl. She's smart, funny, quiet and not a slut. I have not seen her naked yet, and it is killing me. I don't consider myself a bad person because of that but a girl has never made me wait this long for sex. And in a way, I like being made to wait. I've gotten to know this girl better than I've known most of my exes in half the time. I would have done it before now but the girls of my past have always been all for diving in to bed. The sluts.

Gemma is staying the night at my house tonight, and she sent me a text saying that she had her cute PJs chosen out ready and special. This could go two ways. They could be a nice little shirt and tiny, tiny shorts. Or they could be this huge matching stripey long sleeve shirt and pants thing. Either way, I'm betting she looks hella cute in them.

I am left with a conundrum, of course. Normally, I share my bedroom with my younger brother. This week however my parents and younger brother are on vacation, so there's two beds spare in my room. One for me, one for her. Of course, she may be okay with us sharing a bed. It'd be a squeeze, but hey, that just means more cuddles, right? But, if she doesn't want us sharing a bed, do I offer her my bed? Do I offer her the brother's bed? If she is okay with us sharing a bed, how the hell do I keep what I'm going to call... My attraction to her, under wraps?

In more general terms, she makes me nervous. I've always been quite insecure about girls, and this is made worse by the fact that Gemma is cute, she has a great body, and she is a catch in every sense of it. She has a best friend, who just to add to my insecurity, is a guy. This guy lives like, down the road to her. How can I compete with that?! I know how guys work. We always have crushes on friends. I don't doubt this guy would do disgusting and potentially illegal things to my girlfriend. That said, it's not that bad now that me and Gemma are in a relationship on Facebook, because he Liked it.I have his approval. It is against the man code for him to move in on my woman. Unless, of course, I break Gemma's heart and she is vulnerable when, while it makes him a bad person, she does become fair game.

Well, that's my post. Now, I'm going to go clean every inch of the house I can reach in preparation for Gemma getting here.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"Chang-E" - Emmy the Great (new album out 10/9)

Emmy the Great drops her new album tomorrow on Bella Union - the fastest album she says she's ever created.  "April /月音" was completed after a trip to to her birth city Hong Kong in 2017. In early 2018, Emmy the Great made "April /月音" in a two-week period in Brooklyn - which was delayed for release until now because of her maternity leave. After recording this album, Emmy moved (for good) back to Hong Kong.  Since her original trip to Hong Kong, things have become quite tumultuous there. Said Emmy. "I’ll never know why the city called me back, but I know what it gave me. In return, I want to give it this album. That Mid-Autumn, nobody could have predicted what was to come, neither the atomization that began with the anti-Extradition Law protests in June 2019, nor the struggle for democracy that continues now, through the Covid-19 pandemic. To witness your birth city in its greatest moment of need is a powerful, humbling event, and I know I watched Hong Kong

Give JR a Break

Recently, I've been reading some sites that have criticized James Roday, the lead actor on the USA show PSYCH for an apparent weight gain. But you know what? Who gives a flying fizzle stick if James Roday is slightly larger than he was 4 years ago. Apparently, it wasn't enough to scare away his current girlfriend/ co-star Maggie Lawson. (Who is one hell of a Catch!) And NO they are not engaged. That seems to be nothing more than a rumor, but there is a very high chance of it happening in the near future. Anyway, as long as PSYCH continues to entertain I don't mind about James Roday's waist. He, and Dule Hill, and Corbin Bernson too, can eat all the fried broccoli they want. The last episode of PSYCH wasn't so smashing, but I don't blame it on dietary issues. QATFYG: Are you keeping up with Psych? And who is hotter, James Roday or Maggie Lawson? (Trick Question but idk why) PS: If you have heard any more news on Roday and Lawson becoming Roday-Lawso

Lilith help me, I want to stake the second episode of True Blood!

Episode 2: Authority Always Wins Well here we are again, time to sink our twin hard-ons into the new episode! Before I get into the thick of things, again I must let you know HERE BE MASSIVE SPOILERS. And I’m going to recap this by the characters instead of a timeline account, because not much happens in this episode.