Skip to main content

Make your own Smurf joke.

Hello, my name is Ryan and I have a girlfriend now.

This has been an official thing (or rather, she sent the request on Facebook, which totally makes it official) since Monday I think it was. I've been dating this girl for maybe a month or so, but it's not the same as her being your girlfriend, it turns out. I'm not sure why.

We did, however, skip the "meeting" phase. I've heard people talk about how they're meeting someone, so of course I ask when and where and all the juicy gossip stuff, and it turns out meeting is a relationship status here now. From what I can understand, this thing is a little more serious than just hanging out, but not as serious as going on a date. I didn't know it was needed, but hey, the average relationship of a 15 year old has now increased to 4 days here so it must be working.

But yes, Ryan has a girlfriend! She's a lovely girl. She's smart, funny, quiet and not a slut. I have not seen her naked yet, and it is killing me. I don't consider myself a bad person because of that but a girl has never made me wait this long for sex. And in a way, I like being made to wait. I've gotten to know this girl better than I've known most of my exes in half the time. I would have done it before now but the girls of my past have always been all for diving in to bed. The sluts.

Gemma is staying the night at my house tonight, and she sent me a text saying that she had her cute PJs chosen out ready and special. This could go two ways. They could be a nice little shirt and tiny, tiny shorts. Or they could be this huge matching stripey long sleeve shirt and pants thing. Either way, I'm betting she looks hella cute in them.

I am left with a conundrum, of course. Normally, I share my bedroom with my younger brother. This week however my parents and younger brother are on vacation, so there's two beds spare in my room. One for me, one for her. Of course, she may be okay with us sharing a bed. It'd be a squeeze, but hey, that just means more cuddles, right? But, if she doesn't want us sharing a bed, do I offer her my bed? Do I offer her the brother's bed? If she is okay with us sharing a bed, how the hell do I keep what I'm going to call... My attraction to her, under wraps?

In more general terms, she makes me nervous. I've always been quite insecure about girls, and this is made worse by the fact that Gemma is cute, she has a great body, and she is a catch in every sense of it. She has a best friend, who just to add to my insecurity, is a guy. This guy lives like, down the road to her. How can I compete with that?! I know how guys work. We always have crushes on friends. I don't doubt this guy would do disgusting and potentially illegal things to my girlfriend. That said, it's not that bad now that me and Gemma are in a relationship on Facebook, because he Liked it.I have his approval. It is against the man code for him to move in on my woman. Unless, of course, I break Gemma's heart and she is vulnerable when, while it makes him a bad person, she does become fair game.

Well, that's my post. Now, I'm going to go clean every inch of the house I can reach in preparation for Gemma getting here.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Give JR a Break

Recently, I've been reading some sites that have criticized James Roday, the lead actor on the USA show PSYCH for an apparent weight gain. But you know what? Who gives a flying fizzle stick if James Roday is slightly larger than he was 4 years ago. Apparently, it wasn't enough to scare away his current girlfriend/ co-star Maggie Lawson. (Who is one hell of a Catch!) And NO they are not engaged. That seems to be nothing more than a rumor, but there is a very high chance of it happening in the near future. Anyway, as long as PSYCH continues to entertain I don't mind about James Roday's waist. He, and Dule Hill, and Corbin Bernson too, can eat all the fried broccoli they want. The last episode of PSYCH wasn't so smashing, but I don't blame it on dietary issues. QATFYG: Are you keeping up with Psych? And who is hotter, James Roday or Maggie Lawson? (Trick Question but idk why) PS: If you have heard any more news on Roday and Lawson becoming Roday-Lawson, send it

No Time to Fuck: The Goldfrapp Essay

Konnichiwa! This is Irina Cummings and I'm here to discuss one of the most brilliant, innovative, and creative artists in the entire history of mankind: Goldfrapp – or as I like to call them , GODfrapp – the fantastique, highly inspirational, and sometimes criminally overlooked electronic music duo from London consisting of Alison Goldfrapp and Will Gregory, whose godly music has certainly influenced the vast majority of today's synthpop ladies, including Lady Gaga, Little Boots, La Roux, Annie and Florence + the Machine (not electro but still worth your while). They're primarily known for their mind-blowing music (which have spanned pretty much every style of electronic music – and some non-electronic as well), their abstract, sexually ambiguous – at times forthright – lyrics which are often not gender- specific , and their elaborate shows, not to mention the amazing visual aesthetics of their work, conjuring images that masterly complement

An Open Letter to the Actress: Milena Govich

Dear Milena Govich, Hey, how are you? What is up? Well, I assume you might get 5-7 fan letters a week, but I hope the glitter on my envelope stood out to you. In all seriousness, I have not been the most loyal fan of your filmography, but in the opening credits of the 2006 show, “Conviction,” I got to see you in your underwear. Ever since then, I have been one of your most active online stalkers (not a crime in all states I think). In the next letter, I promise to include an underwear photo for you, so we'll be even. Milena, I remember even back to the days when you worked on one of those other 200 Dick Wolf projects you did...what was the name of that show? “Law and Order.” Yes, that was it. You made history as playing the first female lead detective on the “Law and Order” original franchise for your role as Detective Cassidy. However, I will have to note your performance was strongly tainted when Chevy Chase guest-starred and gave you the nickname, “Detective Sugar-Tits.” At leas