Skip to main content

Love Letter to Houston: Booze and Breakdancing

I spend the morning at Caroline, working on fliers for The Useless Critic (hey, that's this site!). If you’re in NYC, you might spot them floating around. The internet at the Collective is terrible, but the relative quiet is nice. I also meet some of Caroline’s members, all of whose names I’ve completely forgotten. Sorry guys and gals!

Later that night, Caroline hosts this party for Houston’s Ted conference. Have you heard of Ted? Check it out if you haven’t. I scurry around the party, trying my best to not be a wallflower and failing most of the time. There are some interesting people there, but most of them seem too involved in their own importance. This one guy reminded me of one of those Nigerian scam emails (only he wasn’t Nigerian, and he didn’t ask for money, but the feeling was still there).

After a while I left the party and hung out with Snacktimehighfive, who did a good job straddling the line between cute and infuriating. I read some more of the book I brought with me (more on that in a different post), and took a power nap.

Geoff closes down the party and he and his ladyfriend, Alex, and I go to the Contemporary Art Museum of Houston (CAMH) for a dance party. What? A dance party at a museum, you say? That’s just how forward-thinking the Houston art scene is. So suck it and don’t stop.

We arrive toward the end of the party, but just in time to see some impressive breakdancers having an 80s-style dance-off. I fall hopelessly in love with this tan, bearded Asian dancer. I imagine his dance moves translate well into the forum of fucking. And he was sweaty, so sweaty from dancing...

Anyway, we walk down the streets of Houston till we stop at this bar called “Grand Prize,” a fun hipster bar with a Whiskey and lemonade that will make you cum so hard. We drink on the patio out back, watching all the trendy boys and girls laugh about things ironically. Did you know Houston has the cutest hipsters in the world? Until I’m proven wrong, this is my statement. I want to have ironic sex (is that a thing? Can we make it a thing?) with all of them.

After getting good and liquored up, the three of us stumble back to Caroline.

Discussion topic: Are you a wallflower at parties? How do you deal with meeting new people and inserting yourself (lol) into conversations?

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Give JR a Break

Recently, I've been reading some sites that have criticized James Roday, the lead actor on the USA show PSYCH for an apparent weight gain. But you know what? Who gives a flying fizzle stick if James Roday is slightly larger than he was 4 years ago. Apparently, it wasn't enough to scare away his current girlfriend/ co-star Maggie Lawson. (Who is one hell of a Catch!) And NO they are not engaged. That seems to be nothing more than a rumor, but there is a very high chance of it happening in the near future. Anyway, as long as PSYCH continues to entertain I don't mind about James Roday's waist. He, and Dule Hill, and Corbin Bernson too, can eat all the fried broccoli they want. The last episode of PSYCH wasn't so smashing, but I don't blame it on dietary issues. QATFYG: Are you keeping up with Psych? And who is hotter, James Roday or Maggie Lawson? (Trick Question but idk why) PS: If you have heard any more news on Roday and Lawson becoming Roday-Lawson, send it
15 comments
Read more

No Time to Fuck: The Goldfrapp Essay

Konnichiwa! This is Irina Cummings and I'm here to discuss one of the most brilliant, innovative, and creative artists in the entire history of mankind: Goldfrapp – or as I like to call them , GODfrapp – the fantastique, highly inspirational, and sometimes criminally overlooked electronic music duo from London consisting of Alison Goldfrapp and Will Gregory, whose godly music has certainly influenced the vast majority of today's synthpop ladies, including Lady Gaga, Little Boots, La Roux, Annie and Florence + the Machine (not electro but still worth your while). They're primarily known for their mind-blowing music (which have spanned pretty much every style of electronic music – and some non-electronic as well), their abstract, sexually ambiguous – at times forthright – lyrics which are often not gender- specific , and their elaborate shows, not to mention the amazing visual aesthetics of their work, conjuring images that masterly complement
3 comments
Read more

An Open Letter to the Actress: Milena Govich

Dear Milena Govich, Hey, how are you? What is up? Well, I assume you might get 5-7 fan letters a week, but I hope the glitter on my envelope stood out to you. In all seriousness, I have not been the most loyal fan of your filmography, but in the opening credits of the 2006 show, “Conviction,” I got to see you in your underwear. Ever since then, I have been one of your most active online stalkers (not a crime in all states I think). In the next letter, I promise to include an underwear photo for you, so we'll be even. Milena, I remember even back to the days when you worked on one of those other 200 Dick Wolf projects you did...what was the name of that show? “Law and Order.” Yes, that was it. You made history as playing the first female lead detective on the “Law and Order” original franchise for your role as Detective Cassidy. However, I will have to note your performance was strongly tainted when Chevy Chase guest-starred and gave you the nickname, “Detective Sugar-Tits.” At leas
1 comment
Read more