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Love Letter to Houston: Booze and Breakdancing

I spend the morning at Caroline, working on fliers for The Useless Critic (hey, that's this site!). If you’re in NYC, you might spot them floating around. The internet at the Collective is terrible, but the relative quiet is nice. I also meet some of Caroline’s members, all of whose names I’ve completely forgotten. Sorry guys and gals!

Later that night, Caroline hosts this party for Houston’s Ted conference. Have you heard of Ted? Check it out if you haven’t. I scurry around the party, trying my best to not be a wallflower and failing most of the time. There are some interesting people there, but most of them seem too involved in their own importance. This one guy reminded me of one of those Nigerian scam emails (only he wasn’t Nigerian, and he didn’t ask for money, but the feeling was still there).

After a while I left the party and hung out with Snacktimehighfive, who did a good job straddling the line between cute and infuriating. I read some more of the book I brought with me (more on that in a different post), and took a power nap.

Geoff closes down the party and he and his ladyfriend, Alex, and I go to the Contemporary Art Museum of Houston (CAMH) for a dance party. What? A dance party at a museum, you say? That’s just how forward-thinking the Houston art scene is. So suck it and don’t stop.

We arrive toward the end of the party, but just in time to see some impressive breakdancers having an 80s-style dance-off. I fall hopelessly in love with this tan, bearded Asian dancer. I imagine his dance moves translate well into the forum of fucking. And he was sweaty, so sweaty from dancing...

Anyway, we walk down the streets of Houston till we stop at this bar called “Grand Prize,” a fun hipster bar with a Whiskey and lemonade that will make you cum so hard. We drink on the patio out back, watching all the trendy boys and girls laugh about things ironically. Did you know Houston has the cutest hipsters in the world? Until I’m proven wrong, this is my statement. I want to have ironic sex (is that a thing? Can we make it a thing?) with all of them.

After getting good and liquored up, the three of us stumble back to Caroline.

Discussion topic: Are you a wallflower at parties? How do you deal with meeting new people and inserting yourself (lol) into conversations?

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