Pippa Middleton is Still in my Mother Fu*king News Feed!

So long long after her sister took the tiara Pippa Middleton continues to junk up my news feed, and yes I am talking about Yahoo (unfortunately/sadly). And for some reason, Yahoo gets mentioned more and more often.

This just keeps going on and on and on and mother fu*kin' on gosh darnit.
This isn’t the first time I’ve ranted about this, but it just seems to blow my mindsockets.
It’s like Pippa Middleton goes to Wimbledon….she is the number one trending topic.
Pippa Middleton wears a red dress….she is the number one trending topic.
Pippa Middleton breaks up with her unknown boyfriend….dot dot dot.
Is this more than just a flavor of the week? Is this the rest of our lives?

QATFYG:
And why does she get all of this fame and attention?

Because guys like looking at her BUTT!!



That is the only reason. She is recently being placed on the cover of a magazine for no other reason than guys like her butt. But according to some sources, she did not win the award “Rear of the Year.” I think it’s a real contest actually, but I have no intention of looking that up because I do not want any government search people to see that I was searching the Queen of the Rear of the Year.

I am a person of dignity and class.

But does it shock you, that you can become an international icon, for no other reason than people like looking at your butt? Because you know that if she was the sister of the Duchess of Cambridge, and 0.99 Billion Men did not want to see pictures of her Butt that she would have the **same** level of trending popularity.

You don’t even need to have a great smile, or a pretty face, or even talent to make it on Planet Earth….all you have to do is make your ass really round and get a famous sister.

Anyway, I think she’s kinda single now. Any takers?