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American Manners and Customs: A Book Review

This is a Guide for Newcomers.
It is productive book written by Elizabeth Claire and illustrated by Dave Nicholson.
I thought I wasn't American enough because I have a funny looking name, so I gave it a read.

Moreover, it is a popular manual that is used by people that are seeking a new life in the United States. It doesn’t just teach the meaning of American titles such as Mr, Miss, Ms, and Mrs. It goes into strong details to help immigrants and people claiming asylum blend in with other high quality social organisms such as ourselves.

American Small Talk:
A: So nice weather today.
B: Yes, it is rather nice.
A: It looks rain.
B: Good weather for ducks.

However, I am forced to note that this book is not exactly a clear representation of American Customs and Daily Life….such as….

Negative Notes:
-There are no black people in the illustrations at all.
-It is not subtitled in Spanish.
-There are no images of bagels and salmon.
-It is unclear on how to obtain welfare.
-Nor does it warn you that American drivers get pissed easily, and if you are a brand new immigrant, they will most likely be pissed at you…unless you’re from Northern Europe…then you can drive better than ignorant Fucks like us.

Positive Notes:
-One woman in an illustration might possibly pass for black.
-It is not subtitled in Spanish.
-It doesn’t state that illegal immigrants get free health-care(mas o menos).
-It doesn’t give pickup lines for Middle Eastern Men.
-It teaches you how to get a servers attention at a restaurant (show your breasts).
-The phrases in it are actually not bad, and it goes through parts on making friends, feeling confident in the new world, and it gives instructions on how to avoid embarrassing situations.

But seriously, there are more images of satan in this book than black people.

Did anyone ever write one of these for Canada or Mexico?


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