Skip to main content

Sweden: as I remember it. (or don't) THIS IS JUST LIKE INCEPTION PART 3

I'm going to skip ahead a lotttttttt to when I was at the airport with Al. And Al was standing in front of me and it was the first time I'd seen him in days/weeks/months.


now, we were flying away on 9/11 and the airport was DEAD. vacant. like a zombie movie. seriously- there was no one around




I wonder why!




"Hi," I said to Al, ready to embark on the next 11 days in his company.
"Yo."


From there, Al had some random problem with his carryon I forget. then we went to like some overglitzed airport version of an Applebee's and had a beer together before flying. I tried to get internet and failed. c'est la vie. how did I function?


on the actual flight to New York City, we flew basically in a tissue box that had somehow taken wings to flight. it was such a broke ass Erie-like flight they didn't offer us even newspapers on it. and it was very hot and bright, but we were in JFK in like an hour or so.


once at JFK, the crowds were significantly larger, and surprise of surprise, there were a lot of dopey American tourists (I almost typed "terrorists") on the Sweden flight. us not included obviously.




once on the flight, I found myself seated to the most adorable Finnish woman who spoke broken English. Finns like her are null and void these days. she kept pointing at a map of Nevada (she had gone there while in the States) and trying to tell me about her adventures on some ranch out west. Despite our translation differences- 


her:  "jaiejrejalrkelkajekrj"
me: "nice!"


-she ended up being truly sweet. she actually gave me her phone number and her address, so I could stay in her spare room in her mansion in Stockholm (her daughter lived in New York and modelled for Marc Jacobs). When my free Miller lite exploded on me on the flight (all beverages across-the-sea on flights are FREE, BOOZE OR NOT) she gave my replacement beer to Al and said "let the man open this up!" ha, man. I think they gave me a Heineken instead. NOT THE SAME. 


the flight was long and we watched Leap Year which I surprisingly loved. Amy Adams can do no wrong, right? ;)




then we were in Sweden and the Arlanda airport was so white and so blindingly clean; I will always remember that. it was like a near-death experience. 


"Am I in heaven?" I remember asking myself thoughtfully. "NO, SWEDEN. SO CLOSE!" 


the Swedish customs agents seemed a little confused, but delighted, by my enthusiasm. in fact, I'd sum that up as a lot of people's reactions. 


what happened in the next 11 days was a lot of dumb shit- blacking out several times, for example, my body doesn't handle strong alcohol well and I earned a reputation at my hostel of choice, THE ACCO- but so much great stuff, too. Al and I met a host of lovely people- Australians, Finns, too many Belgians, Italians, Dutch, one English book I woke up to see who the fuck he was, Chinese, Japanese (Maika!!!!) and a bunch of French people that probably would not have spit on us if we were dying in the streets (sigh). We met a random chipper American boy at the University of Stockholm, where he was like OTHER AMERICANS? OMG I'M STUDYING HERE and we were like SWEET WE'RE JUST GETTING COFFEE. Another American boy we met off couchsurfing was great- Jimmy, I still talk to him on occasion, he works for the government over there (ours). and speaking of, it was awesome that we were American citizens (um, are) and couldn't even get into our own embassy.


Couchsurfing, by the way, is an awesome experience. I highly recommend doing it (if you can find a good person). We all had good people.


two moments really stick out in my mind:  when Al was crizzzank drunk and hitting on these arguably not-so-much-hit-upon-worthy German bitches and I was sober and watching over him (fun times). then I met Enrico, my Italian friend I was convinced while drunk was from Turkey, who showed me his drawings. then this random Finnish boy showed up and we all sat in the hallway looking at them together, while Al was trying to conduct a threesome. following that, I went outside to retrieve Al, heard him screaming German at some huge Swede ("YOU'RE NOT FROM BERLIN!") the German had this little Asian girlfriend with him, too. when it was time for her to go onto her bus, she screamed "I HAVE TO GO" and I just saw her zipping down the street like lightning. weird.


the other one was my last night there, in which we went out on the town with our model-looking Australian friend. seriously, I never notice good-looking guys but I was like in awe of him the whole trip. not only was he so stereotypically attractive, but he was so nice! we walked around Stockholm with him and our other Aussie friend all day, going down to the waterfront and whatnot. even as I type this my chest sort of feels like it is going to close in because I adored that place like no other place on Earth- but yeah, we were all sitting outside the hostel our last FULL night in Stockholm (the other night was divided at Arlanda) and I started to cry because I realized something sort of shitty had happened, but the good-looking Australian guy was like BRITTANY YOU ARE A WONDERFUL GIRL and we were both drunk and soaked because of the rain so we had a moment. it was very much like, um, what I guess the plot of Pretty In Pink is.




then in the morning, he left very early to go to Denmark and mentioned his girlfriend and I, who was in love with him for three hours, was like "WHATNOWHATWHATWHAT."


our last real night in Stockholm, we tried to pick up some Finnish bitches, but Al drank their cider so we didn't get to do that. the one girl tried to friend me on facebook but never found me. :/


when we returned to the U.S., I was sore, ornery and menstruating. so going through customs and being patted down by some androgynous female security guard in Amsterdam was SO MUCH FUN (every time she hit me I was like GOD STOP STOP YOU'RE TOO CLOSE).


we had a long busride in Baltimore to DC, where I had to meet my sister after it was all said and done. of course something happened, so I ended up just crashing at Al's dad's girlfriend's place, after the longest day of my life. it felt so lonely to leave Sweden behind....the next day, parting from Al, I sat in Dunkin Donuts and sobbed like a silly bitch. my sister came and got me from Wegman's (I don't know) and I was very happy to see her, but you know.


I was on this total confidence high for a while but then I started working at Erie Insurance again and that stopped.


conclusion: Al, Finland or Montreal next summer? 



Comments

  1. Oh my gosh, I was thinking about that large German speaking Swede the other day, and how nice he was not to kick my anus.

    ReplyDelete
  2. if we ever stop being friends Al I'm going to hang myself.

    ReplyDelete
  3. if you go to Montreal, I'm coming, too. Ever since Bethenny Frankel went there...never mind.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"Mon Soleil" - Ashley Park

If there's anything people take away from my piss-poor legacy, I hope it's what a huge, unabashed fan of "Emily in Paris" I am and will continue to be. People love "90 Day Fiancee," "The Bachelor," and other garbage - allow me "Emily," which is at least harmless, kind of goofy fluff (which does, unfortunately, lean into some stereotypes, as the country of Ukraine knows ). I have already watched Season 2 twice. And honestly my favorite part of this show (despite my crush on Camille Razart and Lily Collins channeling Audrey Hepburn hardcore ) is Ashley Park. This woman has superstar written all over her. She's a bona fide Broadway star, and "Emily in Paris" has served as her pivot into the zeitgeist.  "Emily in Paris" is also showcasing her vocal prowess front and center this season, with her covering BTS, "All By Myself," "Sympathtique," and Marilyn Monroe. But the real standout performance is th

Appropriate Holiday Gift Ideas for the Single Lady

While some people may see it as a drag, there are plenty of benefits to being single during the holiday season. During this time of the year, there are tons of parties you can attend that you may not have had the opportunity to if you were in a relationship. There’s also not as much stress on you as a single gal during the holidays because you don’t have to shop for your partner and extended family members  or  stress over where to eat Christmas dinner.  Not everyone sees the bright side of being fancy free during the holidays, and, tragically, they aren't afraid to let us single ladies know. Not only are single women subjected to even more harassment and ridicule during the holiday season, they’re also given the most obnoxious gifts by those who can’t comprehend how anyone can be both happy and single. Whether it’s a self-help book (desperately) trying to reinforce how great is to be single or the gift of a year-long subscription to Match.com , single women are presented with

Give JR a Break

Recently, I've been reading some sites that have criticized James Roday, the lead actor on the USA show PSYCH for an apparent weight gain. But you know what? Who gives a flying fizzle stick if James Roday is slightly larger than he was 4 years ago. Apparently, it wasn't enough to scare away his current girlfriend/ co-star Maggie Lawson. (Who is one hell of a Catch!) And NO they are not engaged. That seems to be nothing more than a rumor, but there is a very high chance of it happening in the near future. Anyway, as long as PSYCH continues to entertain I don't mind about James Roday's waist. He, and Dule Hill, and Corbin Bernson too, can eat all the fried broccoli they want. The last episode of PSYCH wasn't so smashing, but I don't blame it on dietary issues. QATFYG: Are you keeping up with Psych? And who is hotter, James Roday or Maggie Lawson? (Trick Question but idk why) PS: If you have heard any more news on Roday and Lawson becoming Roday-Lawson, send it