Yeah, there's a Neuro for that (and other miscellaneous other thoughts).

Do you remember this summer when I spent all my passing time at the library and wrote a review of the SUGARFREE ENERGY DRINKS?

well, yeah. duh. that post was epic.

Today though, I found out my 99 cent caffeine booster at the was MIA. (yeah, I jumped ships, sue me! I r only humann). Which led me in a dilemma:

- should I get coffee? (nahhhh coffee is better at night when I want to postpone sleep)

- should I just get a Diet Coke? (no.)

So I tried one of these damn Neuro Waters I see everywhere. Apparently they help you:

- have sex

- sleep

- lose weight

- be happy

- cure cancer

- join the cast of Two and a Half Men

The ads on the subway proudly tell me that "yeah, there's a Neuro for that." Isn't that some like Apple promotion? "Yeah, there's an app for that." Oh blow me. (just saying!)

Well, I ended up picking the water that's supposed to make you "playfully energetic" AKAKAKAKA "neurogasm."

Yup. The sexy water.

Sometimes I'm impressed by how insanely intelligent I am. Like really Harvard, you passed up on this?

Well so, I started today wanting to kill everything and everyone. By the time noon rolled around, all I wanted to do was rearrange furniture.

I did not want to have sex with anything or anyone until about 4 p.m. and that was an accident.

CONCLUSION: NEURO-GASM IS BULLSHIT

I will leave you with this, Snake Oil Man:

I MISS TV

Comments

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The Useless Critic 2.0

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