Places That SJP Was Not This Weekend

Medieval Times.

do you see this man in the photo? notice how he is not SJP. truth, this weekend, Sarah Jessica Parker got out of bed, looked into her foggy mirror and announced, rather triumphantly, that she would not BE anywhere NEAR a Medieval Times this past weekend.

a real or imagined conversation that happened on Saturday between Sarah Jessica Parker and longtime hubby, Matthew Broderick:

SJP: I know you might want to, but I'm just not going to go to Medieval Times. I mean, god, there's only like, six locations anyway.

MATT: But! But! You promised!

SJP: It just ain't happening. Now if you excuse me, I have to support my local small businesses on SMALL BUSINESS SATURDAY.

But later that evening: did she go to KFC? we think yes.

it would explain that unnatural glow! aw, SJP. how could anyone call you ugly? you make my heart feel like a candy bar stuck in a car on a hot summer's day. I bet right now you will find this when you are trying to buy hats off Amazon on Cyber Monday. and if I ever meet you in person, it's gonna be reallllllllllll weird.

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