Skip to main content

my Christmas detox

Christmas 2011 wasn't especially horrible or great for me. It was just kind of there; an okay, quiet day in a stretch of chaos. It was the first year we had it just at home, which is kind of a bummer. I don't always have the greatest memories of my grandmother, but her house this time of year was tradition. I can still remember sitting on the white sofa in the living room once done eating, just listening to Christmas music and my cousins bickering around me, trying to center myself. but that is all the past. this year my cousins did their own thing on Jaysus' birthday, leaving me, my parents, and my siblings to fend for ourselves. 


sometimes my mom comes up with big ideas she thinkssss will be amazing and tries to gently implement into our standing traditions. my family isn't big on change. my father is very much into (well, what appears like) black-and-white thinking. if my father were a caveman, I feel he'd say something like this:  FIRE! WHY DO WE NEEDS FIRE! I LIKE THE ICE SO MUCH!  in the past, we've had to do things like write down what we're thankful for and blah blah blah. these things never stick. however, this year my mother had us open our gifts at night, which actually worked. and will probs stick. Christmas night always makes me sad...unless I'm buzzed. then I'm like


MORE CARPENTERS PLEASE WHY CAN'T I CRAWL INTO THE STEREO


but because my stomach was bothering me all day, I was not. anyway, my sister brought her cat home. this never happens, which shows my parents must be mellowing. This cat has known me since I was 14 and yet every time we interact, she jets off to the other side of my room. it's insulting after a while! hence why I don't like cats. well that and allergies. bitch.


my brother does not live at home anymore- he got an apartment on the other side of town. which is pretty nice, I have to say. mostly because my mom decorated it with all my grandmother's old furniture. now you see whenever I finally get my own BUG-FREE apartment, I'm just going to have to decorate it with cardboard boxes. but he came over. and he does third shift a lot. all the time. so he slept. a lot.


the afternoon- after a morning of coffee and stomach issues- was spent at the cemeteries for all my grandparents. paternal and maternal, they are all there. first up was my Dad's, who I don't really recollect. just being very little and having my grandfather sitting in this lumpy green recliner we used to have, looking very bitter. not a lot of time was spent at the cemetery, as it was fucking cold when the wind blew. shuffle off to cemetery #2.


One of my family friends just died right before Christmas. she was buried there, too. such a nice woman, too. is it just me or did a lot of people die in 2011? I'm going to go with the latter.


Got out of the car, followed my mom to the row of graves.


"Hi Grandma!" I cheerfully blurted to the first gravestone I came across. Oops. Not Grandma.


I'm not sure what cemetery etiquette is when you are going to pay your respects to someone. Especially to two people I could see, right over my shoulders, in my mind's eye, as if things were just yesterday. Them, my uncle, my great-grandmother, my great uncle. all there, along with some random dude that got buried CREEPILY next to our plots.


we all stood there in silence for a while until we visited our friend's new grave, still complete with funeral flower arrangements. it did not snow this Christmas; it was pretty mild for December. but the sky was a weird overcast...not a traditional gray overtone, but something warmer. anyway, it caused everything for the remainder of the day to feel surreal. we drove around for a while afterwards, looking at country homes and listening to Christmas music. just kind of staring at everything and wondering what was real and not looking forward to the inevitabilities of the future. I got to thinking about 2012- I will be 24 in just several months. I'm certainly not ready for that. I always


imagined by 24 I'd be stuck in a good job, in a good relationship, well on my way to success. but life hasn't worked out that way.


we got home and had dinner and opened gifts. I didn't buy a lot for people this year, but got my parents wine on the lake tickets, because that seems like a cool thing and I really wish I could buy them tickets to go visit Napa Valley or something like that, but I don't have the money and my father's health is iffy. my brother got pizzelles I bought at a gas station. MERRY CHRISTMAS JOE


I got the new Joan Didion. I know I've read it. NO I DIDN'T ILLEGALLY DOWNLOAD IT ON THE INTERNET YOU CRAZY? and some clothes. the cat stayed up in the room; my sister's boyfriend did not visit as we were anticipating. I watched 60 Minutes, a show about monks that live in total isolation in Greece. was very cool until they said woman were not allowed on the island
because if they turned up, they'd bring with them their families and make it into a tourist trap. which is totally true. they also might menstruate on the island and thus contaminate the soil. WOMANS, I tell ya. 


sent out some Christmas messages to a few friends. this year, most people didn't say shit in response! huh. but some boys I haven't talked to in several months popped up, so you'll have that.


I remember when Christmas was the simmer point of the whole year. remember that? you got out of school early after being assaulted with party after party after party. then you stayed up late and got awesome gifts. c'est la vie. things to look forward to when I have a family. or steal a family from a JC Penney Catalog circa 1996.






as you can see, my one daughter looks suspiciously older than me here. 


well, today, after I prep myself for work tomorrow, I guess I will be watching Midnight In Paris. and waxing on those gorgeous impossible things. 


here's to 2012 being a great year. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Give JR a Break

Recently, I've been reading some sites that have criticized James Roday, the lead actor on the USA show PSYCH for an apparent weight gain. But you know what? Who gives a flying fizzle stick if James Roday is slightly larger than he was 4 years ago. Apparently, it wasn't enough to scare away his current girlfriend/ co-star Maggie Lawson. (Who is one hell of a Catch!) And NO they are not engaged. That seems to be nothing more than a rumor, but there is a very high chance of it happening in the near future. Anyway, as long as PSYCH continues to entertain I don't mind about James Roday's waist. He, and Dule Hill, and Corbin Bernson too, can eat all the fried broccoli they want. The last episode of PSYCH wasn't so smashing, but I don't blame it on dietary issues. QATFYG: Are you keeping up with Psych? And who is hotter, James Roday or Maggie Lawson? (Trick Question but idk why) PS: If you have heard any more news on Roday and Lawson becoming Roday-Lawson, send it

No Time to Fuck: The Goldfrapp Essay

Konnichiwa! This is Irina Cummings and I'm here to discuss one of the most brilliant, innovative, and creative artists in the entire history of mankind: Goldfrapp – or as I like to call them , GODfrapp – the fantastique, highly inspirational, and sometimes criminally overlooked electronic music duo from London consisting of Alison Goldfrapp and Will Gregory, whose godly music has certainly influenced the vast majority of today's synthpop ladies, including Lady Gaga, Little Boots, La Roux, Annie and Florence + the Machine (not electro but still worth your while). They're primarily known for their mind-blowing music (which have spanned pretty much every style of electronic music – and some non-electronic as well), their abstract, sexually ambiguous – at times forthright – lyrics which are often not gender- specific , and their elaborate shows, not to mention the amazing visual aesthetics of their work, conjuring images that masterly complement

An Open Letter to the Actress: Milena Govich

Dear Milena Govich, Hey, how are you? What is up? Well, I assume you might get 5-7 fan letters a week, but I hope the glitter on my envelope stood out to you. In all seriousness, I have not been the most loyal fan of your filmography, but in the opening credits of the 2006 show, “Conviction,” I got to see you in your underwear. Ever since then, I have been one of your most active online stalkers (not a crime in all states I think). In the next letter, I promise to include an underwear photo for you, so we'll be even. Milena, I remember even back to the days when you worked on one of those other 200 Dick Wolf projects you did...what was the name of that show? “Law and Order.” Yes, that was it. You made history as playing the first female lead detective on the “Law and Order” original franchise for your role as Detective Cassidy. However, I will have to note your performance was strongly tainted when Chevy Chase guest-starred and gave you the nickname, “Detective Sugar-Tits.” At leas