Hello Pippa: Are You Still Single?

Images like this are still available at certain newsstands, even though this gossip is old and dried up by now. However, this is a solid question for Pippa Middleton, the sister of the Duchess of Cambridge.

Is the Sister of the Duchess a real royal title?
NO DAMMIT!

So if I have to see these types of headlines, I wonder why Pippa has not been listening to me all along. Dear Pippa: If you think you cannot get a date, GET A JOB!
No, I do not mean a real job like party planning or family business. Get a job in entertainment, so your life is not filled with nothingness. Go host "Forensic Files" or become this generation's "Wheel of Fortune" girl, something with longevity.

This is most frustrating thing in the world for me, and I am not even you. Is it not possible for you to record a pop album and use whatever software Rebecca Black did to get famous?

Maybe if you do something with your fame, people will not have to use your personal life as filler in tabloids.

I will give you credit Pippa. You are the one of the few people on Earth that can turn lack of accomplishment into something documentary-worthy and lustful-to-print.

1. You don't work in entertainment...yet you are in all the magazines.
2. You don't do porn (or soft porn), yet England is obsessed with your ass.
AND NOW
3. You are NOT dating anyone, and it is considered Celeb Gossip.

Well, Fuck a Doodle Doo!

Just because you are famous for doing nothing, does not mean you have to do nothing with your fame.

QATFYG:
Would you date Pippa?

If yes, Tweet about it.

"Mon Soleil" - Ashley Park

If there's anything people take away from my piss-poor legacy, I hope it's what a huge, unabashed fan of "Emily in Paris" I am and will continue to be. People love "90 Day Fiancee," "The Bachelor," and other garbage - allow me "Emily," which is at least harmless, kind of goofy fluff (which does, unfortunately, lean into some stereotypes, as the country of Ukraine knows ). I have already watched Season 2 twice. And honestly my favorite part of this show (despite my crush on Camille Razart and Lily Collins channeling Audrey Hepburn hardcore ) is Ashley Park. This woman has superstar written all over her. She's a bona fide Broadway star, and "Emily in Paris" has served as her pivot into the zeitgeist. "Emily in Paris" is also showcasing her vocal prowess front and center this season, with her covering BTS, "All By Myself," "Sympathtique," and Marilyn Monroe. But the real standout performance is th

"Anchors" - AM Higgins

Here's a nice breezy, almost sensual song from AM Higgins (the solo project of musician Annie Toth) to start your Tuesday off right. Her debut album "Hymning" will be out November 5th on Victorialand Records. The album was mixed by Casey Foubert, a frequent collaborator of Sufjan Stevens. The album "captures the first years of moving from an American city to rural France." Sounds like "Hymning" will be a welcome escape from the world we live in right now, especially considering that Annie Toth counts poets Mary Oliver and Thomas Merton as influences.

Summer Playlist - 2022 Edition!

It's truly the little things in life that make a world of difference. And for me, that means my summer playlist! Behold, I have put together 2022's edition. It includes cuts from artists like: - Mitski - Uffie - Johnny Orlando - Kylie Minogue + Jessie Ware - Florence and the Machine (who put out a fantastic album this year after a long dry spell of kind of "meh" records. Her pairing with Jack Antonoff worked out quite well!) - Bilal - Harry Styles (he has some catchy music!) - KATE BUSH DUH - And of course, Lana. It's also available on Apple Music, but since I recognize a lot of folks use Spotify, here's that link. Enjoy!

The Useless Critic 2.0

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