Ashton Kutcher To Be First Tool in Space

So I am pretty bummed tonight- it's been a sad day- but how could I not laugh my ass off when I read this headline:

Ashton Kutcher Headed to Space!

Yup, apparently Richard "I'm Obviously Insane and Hairy" Branson tapped him to go into space. I can only imagine the great dialogues that will go on up there with Ashton in orbit, judged from the half-episode of the new Two and a Half Men I somehow got caught watching.

Ashton: Like....it's space....and stuff.
*pulls out Blackberry and tweets*

Anyway, I don't really have anything against Ashton, but I've been Team Demi since Day 1 and I'm not backing down. Also: space is a whore.

And I feel better now.

In related news, Kathy Bates is playing the ghost of Charlie Sheen on an upcoming episode of Two and a Half Men. You betcha.

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"Anchors" - AM Higgins

Here's a nice breezy, almost sensual song from AM Higgins (the solo project of musician Annie Toth) to start your Tuesday off right. Her debut album "Hymning" will be out November 5th on Victorialand Records. The album was mixed by Casey Foubert, a frequent collaborator of Sufjan Stevens. The album "captures the first years of moving from an American city to rural France." Sounds like "Hymning" will be a welcome escape from the world we live in right now, especially considering that Annie Toth counts poets Mary Oliver and Thomas Merton as influences.

"Happy New Year"- Let's Eat Grandma

There's no way to start the New Year like some extremely upbeat music about the New Year! That's where this new synthpop-heavy single from the British duo Let's Eat Grandma comes into play. It's a delightful song, and it helps increase any excitement about their third album, "Two Ribbons," which will be out this April. I personally am looking forward to hearing more from Let's Eat Grandma, who deserve way more attention than they currently get. Hopefully, 2022 will be a big year for them. Here's one of their older tracks I quite like:

You Need to Hear This: Concrete Castles

I first heard of First to Eleven a few years ago thanks to the powers of social media. They are a talented young band straight out of my hometown (Erie, PA). Since I've first heard of them, First To Eleven - which primarily were a social media-based cover band - has revealed an original music incarnation, Concrete Castles. No matter if they're covering songs or releasing their own music, one thing is evident: Concrete Castles is MASSIVELY talented. Anchored by Audra Miller's powerhouse vocals that are vaguely reminiscent of Hayley Williams, Concrete Castles demand your attention. Although they can fall in that sort of amorphous "indie pop" umbrella, I don't think their sound would be amiss on mainstream radio - top 40 or alternative. "Wish I Missed U" - their debut album - came out earlier this September, and it's an enjoyable, invigorating listen that would probably make those who were raised on emo or fans of CHVRCHES feel at home. Hell, Anth

The Useless Critic 2.0

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