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A 1001 Films We Will Never See, Britt and LizRo's Journey Through Cinema: Joint "A Dangerous Method" Review

Introduction:  


Because LizRo has not seen most movies or most things with any semblance of connection to pop culture, I have taken it upon myself to educate her to the "finer things in life." 


The following will be a reoccurring series where we document our "fantastic voyage" through a metric crap-ton of movies which I seriously doubt we'll get all the way through, but it's cool.


LET IT BEGIN


Britt:
What I expected of this film was twisted creepiness a la Cronenberg, director of A History of Violence and that sort of ill artform. Mostly I just wanted to see some weird sexual things go down in a love triangle (historically accurate I suppose) between Jung, Freud and the Russian Jewish crazy bitch played by Keira Knightley.


Now I have reached the point in my life where I could be totally satisfied with a film if Keira Knightley was in it. I don’t care what the film is. I don’t care if it is the phonebook being acted out set to Counting Crows songs. Don’t. Care. She is so gorgeous it’s inhuman, and likely has some kind of agreement for every film she’s in that allows her to smoke like a chimney on fire. I can’t remember if she smoked in this film, but for time’s sake, let’s just say yes.

That being said, HOLY SHIT KEIRA. She freaked me out in this film, so hardcore. In the beginning, we see her having a meltdown a la Marjorie Diehl Armstrong. I’M NOT CRAZYYYYYYYY, I’M NOT CRAZYYYYYYYY. Howling and grunting in a carriage with her jaw oddly sticking out, which is something that ALSO freaked  me out. But wait! She gets better. Jung, with his pioneering methods, heals her wounded psyche and possible anal fixation. I won’t go into details, but it sounds like the girl put too much thought into her pooper.

Jung is played by Michael Fassbender, to round out the main cast, with Viggo Mortenson unrecognizable as Freud AKA Colonel Sanders AKA Santa Claus. And the “attack it! Attack it!” dude from Black Swan has a brief but memorable role.

All in all, this movie was fairly compelling, but it ends on an uneven note. It’s based on a stage play, which it might be infinitely better suited for. Not that it’s a bad film; not by a long shot. Every actor does an amazing job and it’s filmed relatively well. That aside, though, I felt like there was some pivotal chunk missing. I do like how they waxed on Jung’s Collective Unconscious theory, something I personally put a lot of weight into, but at the end I was left unsatisfied, like Keira and her butt, going back to Square One.

Liz Ro:
I didn’t have the slightest idea what A Dangerous Method was about. I get a free pass because I’m on a journey through cinema, aimed to address my pop-cultural retardation, which is much easier to cure than my big, lesbian tendencies. What I knew about this film was: Keira Knightley. And that was enough.
Holy shit, this chick can act. The kind of acting that wins awards—as in, Keira Knightley either gained a bunch of weight, or nailed the role of a mentally unstable character. 

Guess what? Keira nailed it.

She spoke with an accent in a strained, stutter-y voice. Her body language was twitchy and writhing—uncomfortable to watch. Except that she’s Keira Knightley, so you watch. She wore a number of those lacy period gowns that she looks so lovely in. 


Seriously. Who else could make this condom-inspired hat work?
Carl Jung will be needing that later.

As far as I’m concerned, the plot of the movie may as well have been developed around spanking Keira Knightley’s ass. Jus’ sayin’.



Entertainment hurts so good.


I listened for someone to cue up the Akon. No dice.




Next up: Carl Jung in this film. Is it weird to find an old-timey dude attractive?

“Next time, I ride the handlebars on your face.”

I was a little caught off guard when Carl Jung, a character as sexual-looking as the monopoly man, struck me as somewhat attractive. Yeah, that snuck up on me. See, Carl looks like a gentleman, but he’s a freak in the sack. He’s also played by Michael Fassbender, which probably helped his case. (I wouldn’t have known Michael Fassbender if he had stood in front of me, introducing himself as Michael Fassbender. And THAT is why I’m on a journey through cinema, thank you very much.)

Carl Jung for sonicare: toothbrush by day, vibrator by night. That kind of thing.

Carl also feels that people are motivated by more than sex. I like where he’s going with that. #Tacobell
In summary: 

  • Good acting, Keira. 
  • Akon was not featured in the film's soundtrack, the real tragedy.
  • Michael Fassbender, I know who you are.
  • People are motivated by more than sex. Unless they’re me. I liked the sexy/sexual/sex aspects of this movie. CALL ME. 

Comments

  1. i wish most movies were centered around spanking the actress................

    ReplyDelete
  2. ME TOO WOULDN'T THE ENGLISH PATIENT BEEN BETTER THAT WAY

    ReplyDelete
  3. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xt5ghXdq6Z0

    ReplyDelete
  4. I thought the film could've used more spanking

    ReplyDelete
  5. My sentiments exactly. According to the following article, she nearly turned the film down due to those scenes, however:

    http://www.metro.co.uk/film/881918-keira-knightley-i-wanted-to-turn-down-a-dangerous-method-over-sex-scenes

    ReplyDelete
  6. LizRo you so intense!

    yeah, I felt a little cheated by the lack of spanking in this film. won't lie. or real sex scenes.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I am so late to this party. Wait...I probably say that every time I comment on the UC. Anyway.

    KEIRA KNIGHTLEY
    MICHAEL FASSBENDER
    SPANKING

    /comes in pants

    ReplyDelete

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