Skip to main content

Big Jak Energy Drinks: A Classy Bitch Review


Big Jak Energy Drinks: Only 70 cents at Big Lots!
Energy drinks are more than just cans of carbonated water that give preteens and young adults more reasons to run around and act like hyperactive idiots. The makers of ADHD medication all scream “gosh darnit!” in unison every time a new one of these comes out on the market. 

But FUCK those people!

Big Jak Energy Drinks are now available at Big Lots for only 70 cents. Holy Shit, the Class Train just stopped.

I mean, there is an energy drink out there that is offering to “Jak You Up” and “Get Jak’d.” Oh baby, I am hard already.

Overall, the taste isn’t bad. There is a little bit of a bite that hits when you take the first sip, but it’s nothing really dramatic compared to some of the other things on the market. The taste is good. It is palatable, and it goes down rather smooth. However, after ¾ of the can, it starts to annoy you. It’s like eating an enormous plate of carbs. It starts out great, but after three fourths of the way, the taste just gets old and tiring.

Big Jak Energy Drinks are the cheapest piece of shit on the market. They are worth the $0.70 they charge at Big Lots, and if you pay even a cent more for this stuff, God have mercy on your piggy bank.
On the other side, it is nice to know there is an energy drink carrier out there with products available at below three or four dollars. It might not have the best taste, but for $0.70 it beats the hell out of Fresca. #Owned. 

Rating:
* 6 / 10 * 

Questions for You:
What is the cheapest energy drink you’ve ever seen?
What is the worst energy drink you’ve ever had?
Do you still have a Piggy Bank? 

And yes, the background is a machine that says "What is your weight?"


 Big Lots can suck my CANS!
Labels:

Comments

  1. LizRoJune 13, 2012 at 4:00 PM

    Uh, LIKE.

    ReplyDelete
  2. DarylJune 13, 2012 at 5:24 PM

    These are 35p in the UK and are rumoured to stunt your growth.

    http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/840/6726693829725d5a6045.jpg/

    They taste like shit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ned UsaJune 13, 2012 at 8:08 PM

      that dude takes photos like how I take photos,
      we should meet up and take photos of each other.
      #GamePlan

      Delete
  3. Britt KempJune 13, 2012 at 8:31 PM

    nice job al!!!!! I'm going to keep drinking energy drinks until my stomach is no more. but I've cut back to one a day. harf. u so classy.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Give JR a Break

Recently, I've been reading some sites that have criticized James Roday, the lead actor on the USA show PSYCH for an apparent weight gain. But you know what? Who gives a flying fizzle stick if James Roday is slightly larger than he was 4 years ago. Apparently, it wasn't enough to scare away his current girlfriend/ co-star Maggie Lawson. (Who is one hell of a Catch!) And NO they are not engaged. That seems to be nothing more than a rumor, but there is a very high chance of it happening in the near future. Anyway, as long as PSYCH continues to entertain I don't mind about James Roday's waist. He, and Dule Hill, and Corbin Bernson too, can eat all the fried broccoli they want. The last episode of PSYCH wasn't so smashing, but I don't blame it on dietary issues. QATFYG: Are you keeping up with Psych? And who is hotter, James Roday or Maggie Lawson? (Trick Question but idk why) PS: If you have heard any more news on Roday and Lawson becoming Roday-Lawson, send it...
15 comments
Read more

No Time to Fuck: The Goldfrapp Essay

Konnichiwa! This is Irina Cummings and I'm here to discuss one of the most brilliant, innovative, and creative artists in the entire history of mankind: Goldfrapp – or as I like to call them , GODfrapp – the fantastique, highly inspirational, and sometimes criminally overlooked electronic music duo from London consisting of Alison Goldfrapp and Will Gregory, whose godly music has certainly influenced the vast majority of today's synthpop ladies, including Lady Gaga, Little Boots, La Roux, Annie and Florence + the Machine (not electro but still worth your while). They're primarily known for their mind-blowing music (which have spanned pretty much every style of electronic music – and some non-electronic as well), their abstract, sexually ambiguous – at times forthright – lyrics which are often not gender- specific , and their elaborate shows, not to mention the amazing visual aesthetics of their work, conjuring images that masterly complement ...
3 comments
Read more

An Open Letter to the Actress: Milena Govich

Dear Milena Govich, Hey, how are you? What is up? Well, I assume you might get 5-7 fan letters a week, but I hope the glitter on my envelope stood out to you. In all seriousness, I have not been the most loyal fan of your filmography, but in the opening credits of the 2006 show, “Conviction,” I got to see you in your underwear. Ever since then, I have been one of your most active online stalkers (not a crime in all states I think). In the next letter, I promise to include an underwear photo for you, so we'll be even. Milena, I remember even back to the days when you worked on one of those other 200 Dick Wolf projects you did...what was the name of that show? “Law and Order.” Yes, that was it. You made history as playing the first female lead detective on the “Law and Order” original franchise for your role as Detective Cassidy. However, I will have to note your performance was strongly tainted when Chevy Chase guest-starred and gave you the nickname, “Detective Sugar-Tits.” At leas...
1 comment
Read more