Skip to main content

Guest Writer: Today, in nails....

I was browsing the web this afternoon and came across this page outlining this new trend in the beauty world called “duck” or “flair” nails. Here’s a link if you are unfamiliar with them.

Essentially, they are fake nails that protrude from your finger, like the negative space in the Vulcan salute. The functionality of these things seems limited, but I’m sure they were invented with some purpose in mind. Typing on a keyboard and dialing a cellphone thus becomes a delicate task. I mean you can’t even hold your hands outright without the nails creeping in on their surrounding appendages. I suppose you could keep them trimmed low like any other acrylic nail, but for the price difference, it seems pointless.

Where did this trend begin you ask? Okay, you probably didn’t ask that, but I went looking out of curiosity and all I could find that she-who-must-not-be-named from that television show set on a certain shore was setting this new trend. That at least explains the sensibility behind them. Can you imagine masturbating with these things in the way?

God forbid your man likes a little pinky action, that would be one awkward clean-up. On the flip side, though, these seem pretty effective if you have to pick up large amounts of change or if you want to set yourself apart while flipping the bird.

To be completely fair though, these were all my initial thoughts this afternoon, sober. BUT, after a few glasses of wine, you better believe I was calling all the local nail salons and asking if they offered this new trend. They don’t…yet. After speaking at length with the confused salon workers, I found myself suddenly craving an egg roll and sauntered off to a nearby restaurant.

It would be fair to say I forgot my original intentions. But I do intend on trying these puppies as soon as Erie catches up the rest of 'Merica and its trends.


This guest post was by Kim, who I have known for a very long time and had the honor/distinction/dubious merit of graduating from Edinboro University of Pennsylvania's writing program with me. LOOK AT WHERE WE R NOW



Comments

  1. Yes Erie, catch up to Merica's trends.
    Catch em and make em your bitch.
    don't know where I'm going with this.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"Mon Soleil" - Ashley Park

If there's anything people take away from my piss-poor legacy, I hope it's what a huge, unabashed fan of "Emily in Paris" I am and will continue to be. People love "90 Day Fiancee," "The Bachelor," and other garbage - allow me "Emily," which is at least harmless, kind of goofy fluff (which does, unfortunately, lean into some stereotypes, as the country of Ukraine knows ). I have already watched Season 2 twice. And honestly my favorite part of this show (despite my crush on Camille Razart and Lily Collins channeling Audrey Hepburn hardcore ) is Ashley Park. This woman has superstar written all over her. She's a bona fide Broadway star, and "Emily in Paris" has served as her pivot into the zeitgeist.  "Emily in Paris" is also showcasing her vocal prowess front and center this season, with her covering BTS, "All By Myself," "Sympathtique," and Marilyn Monroe. But the real standout performance is th

"Anchors" - AM Higgins

Here's a nice breezy, almost sensual song from AM Higgins (the solo project of musician Annie Toth) to start your Tuesday off right.  Her debut album "Hymning" will be out November 5th on Victorialand Records. The album was mixed by Casey Foubert, a frequent collaborator of Sufjan Stevens. The album "captures the first years of moving from an American city to rural France." Sounds like "Hymning" will be a welcome escape from the world we live in right now, especially considering that Annie Toth counts poets Mary Oliver and Thomas Merton as influences.

Summer Playlist - 2022 Edition!

 It's truly the little things in life that make a world of difference. And for me, that means my summer playlist! Behold, I have put together 2022's edition. It includes cuts from artists like: - Mitski - Uffie - Johnny Orlando - Kylie Minogue + Jessie Ware - Florence and the Machine (who put out a fantastic album this year after a long dry spell of kind of "meh" records. Her pairing with Jack Antonoff worked out quite well!)  - Bilal - Harry Styles (he has some catchy music!)  - KATE BUSH DUH - And of course, Lana. It's also available on Apple Music, but since I recognize a lot of folks use Spotify, here's that link. Enjoy!