This True Blood recap’s mad face and happy face are the same!

Episode 8: Somebody that I Used to Know

This fun-filled episode was directed by Mr. Bill Compton himself—Stephen Moyer (aka Mr. Anna Paquin)! We’re treated to some sexy acrobatics, some bizarre shifter antics, a bit of comeuppance, and the murderer of the Stackhouse parents is revealed! (sort of!) Also, can I just say how relieved I am that the producers didn't use the awful Gotye song for the end credits, and instead went with Elliott Smith.

Sam and Luna:

At the hospital, Sheriff Andy arrests the hillbilly murderer (or “Buttplug,” as Andy calls him). Luna is freaking out about it, and rightly so. Sam tells her to stay put and leaves her in the capable hands of deputy Kevin. Luna continues to freak out and she skin shifts...into Sam!

The next sequence is so hilarious, I could barely keep decent notes. Needless to say, she steals a “Free Mustache Rides” sweatshirt and makes her way to the sheriff’s department. Sam Tramell does a fantastic job of playing Luna-Sam.

At the Sheriff Department, the Andy’s getting nowhere with their hillbilly prisoner. Andy leaves it to Sam to interrogate Fuckstick (formerly Buttplug). He shifts into a cobra and scares the crap outta the hillbilly. Luna-Sam stumbles in and finds actual Sam. She’s freaking out because she can’t shift back into her normal self; she thinks she’s gonna die. For you newbies, few shifters can turn into other people, and it comes with a terrible cost: gaining the ability involves killing your parents, and “skin-shifting” is deadly if practiced too often. The only other skin-shifter was Sam’s brother, Tommy. And he’s dead.

So the hillbilly spills the beans (he must have Ophidiophobia) and Andy and the Sams beat feet over to the shack where Jessica’s held captive. (At this point, Hoyt has already left. See the Hoyt and Jessica section.) Luna-Sam has a weird reaction to the scent of a fat woman who once lived there (I didn’t get it, either), and she doubles over in pain.

Sam takes her to his place and holds her. It is the most bizarre scene: Sam comforting Sam. I was really hoping Sam would kiss Sam—seriously, I think my brain would’ve exploded if it happened—but, alas, Luna shifts back into her lovely self and pukes. Oh, True Blood, you are the sexiest show sometimes.

Seriously, though, I didn't know this was a fantasy of mine until this moment.

Jessica:

Jessica’s night starts out at Fangtasia, as it does most nights. This guy—who is totally not a murderous hillbilly, by the way—hits on her. At first she’s like “as fucking if,” but then he’s all “baby, my blood brings all the boys to the yard.” Because if I was a vampire, someone telling me his blood is like a milkshake would get my fangs hard. Barf.

Anyhoo, he takes her to a shack (and not a funky little shack), ties her up with silver, and knocks her around a bit (off screen, mind you). 

Assholes. They are gonna be so dead.

 And who should drive up to this deserted shack in the woods but Hoyt and his newfound Obama-mask-wearing friends. This, as it turns out, was their “surprise” for Hoyt. Everyone saw this coming, right? I mean, my god.

The one hillbilly puts a gun—filled with silver-wooden bullets, natch—in Hoyt’s hand and locks him and Jessica in the room together. As if Hoyt is even considering pulling the trigger. He asks Jessica what happened to their relationship. She’s all out of love for him, essentially. She wanted to love him, prayed for it even, but it’s just not happening. It’s kind of sad, thinking back to how cute they were at one time.

Hoyt frees Jessica and she kills the asshole that kidnapped her. Problem is, it’s daytime. Hoyt goes to get help (or does he?), but Sam and the gang find her first. The last we see of Hoyt, he’s found a “friendly face.” But this supposed friend pulls a gun on him. I’ve been trying to think of who it is, but I’m drawing a blank; Hoyt doesn’t have that many friends.

Alcide:

Woohoo! Finally we get some sexin’ on this show! Alcide and werewolf girl (Seriously, what the fuck is her name? Someone please tell me.) The sex is best described as acrobatic. If I had one qualm, it would be that it’s not Sookie and Alcide. Whatever, it was hot.

This is the least NSFW pic I could find.

The next night (I’m assuming. This show and its time...), the pack meets for the challenge. And it is so dumb; there’s an emcee and cheering. In an interesting twist, Alcide and JD won’t be hunting an animal as usual, they’ll be hunting man. Alcide is pissed, but no one else seems to care. Are they all so complacent they’ll condone murder?

Alcide refuses, and thereby forfeits his play for pack-leader. But JD decides to hunt the poor human anyway. Alcide comes to the rescue, but he’s no match for V-fueled douchebag werewolf. JD almost kills Alcide, but Martha and the rest of the pack stops him. When oh when will JD get his comeuppance?

Tara:

Speaking of comeuppance, Tara has a run-in with her old high school “friend” Tracy (who you might remember as the shop owner that Jessica visited earlier this season). They exchange some barbs, Tracy throws some passive-aggressive racist shade (“Now you’re a member of two minorities!”), and Tara just about eats her before Pam steps in.

Later in the evening, Pam brings Tara downstairs, where she has Tracy all tied up. Pam glamours Tracy into being Tara’s blood slave. Ah-maaazing! How is this one of the most engaging storylines right now? I look forward to Pam (not surprising) and Tara (...WTF).

You're interesting now, Tara. I'm just as shocked as you.

Lafayette:

Our favorite medium drives home, but pulls over to administer some first aid. And I mean rubbing V on his nasty-looking lips. Jesus shows up in the passenger seat and joins his soulmate for the journey back to Bon Temps. I miss these two together. Jesus, stop being dead.

Sigh...

He arrives home to find Arlene and Holly on his porch. They want him to do a fake séance for Terry and Patrick, so they’ll come home. Lafayette rolls his eyes. They cluck like hens until he says he’ll do it...for $300. Gotta love that man, but seriously, hold out for more.

Oh, wait! I’m having a vision! I predict this fake séance will turn into a real séance all too soon. Lafayette does his best Miss Cleo impersonation and does a lot of jazz hands. Soon enough, the real spirit—Zephira—shows up, possesses Lafayette, and tells them how to lift the curse. Someone has to die.

Corny seance: $300, Arlene overacting at candles: Priceless

Sookie:

We pick up with Sookie trying to burn off her faerie powers. She inadvertently zaps Jason, but he’s fine (“you got me in the head”). They sit and Jason continues his streak of good advice this season by making her remember all the amazing stuff that has happened because of her powers (meeting Bill, getting to see Gran one more time, etc.) Sookie’s reluctant, but she agrees to stop purging her powers.

They go visit their faerie friends, and there is a hilarious scene where Sookie says “vampire” and everyone in the whole club stops and stares at her. Anyway, Claude wants to help Sookie and Jason find the truth about their parents. The next morning they meet at the bridge where the Stackhouses died. 

Faerie girl: Einstein was a half-fae! Me to the TV: SHUT THA FUCK UP

Sookie and Jason and the faerie clan circle up. They talk about faerie magic and blah blah magic memories blah blah. Sookie has a vision about the fateful night. At first she’s seeing through her mother’s eyes, but the view soon switches to the vampire himself. He’s killed the Stackhouses and finds some faerie blood on a bandage, when Claudene shows up and zaps him.

Back at the faerie club, Claude is freaking out that Sookie made contact with the vampire. The elders (whoever they are) will be pissed, Claude says. Jason doesn’t “give a twirly fuck.” Sookie thinks back, and recalls Claudene says the vampire’s name: Werlo (Whurlo? Werelau?).

Sookie returns to her house, where she has a vision of Werlo. He’s coming to get you, Sookie! Good thing you didn’t use up all your powers.

Eric and Bill:

The high-on-Lilith-blood vampire party brings it back to the Authority HQ. Eric is plenty sober after his vision of Godric, and he watches as the council vamps act like drunken co-eds. 

Wonderful. Simply wonderful.

He somehow gets Bill to sober up as well. The gang sits around and revels in their newfound love of eating humans. Eric is disgusted with the whole scene and leaves. Bill stays.

Later on, after everyone has sobered up—well, in some aspects—Salome invites Bill to eat a captive woman with her. At first he refuses; the woman has children. Salome asks him why he didn’t turn his own children if he loved them? This triggers a short flashback to 1910 Baton Rouge, where Bill’s daughter is on her deathbed. She pleads for him to turn her into a vampire, but he doesn’t. It’s actually a really fucking depressing scene. So, to repress his sad memories, he joins Salome in a snack.

Elsewhere, Eric tries to sway Nora away from this insane path she’s on. It goes about as well as you’d expect when trying to reason with a crazy person.

The council reconvenes to discuss how to best annihilate the mainstreamer movement. They all give decent suggestions—well, except for Russell and Steve, who keep making googly eyes at each other. Love the two of them. In a bit of a twist, Bill comes up with the best solution: destroy all the True Blood bottling facilities. Even Eric is shocked as Bill looks at him coolly and says “I’m evolving.”

DEAL WIF IT

Favorite moment: The sex was great indeed. But my moment has to go to Pam and Tara fucking with Tracy.

Least Favorite: I thought there was a lot to love this episode, actually. Oh, how about Hoyt didn’t get shot by the mystery person? Just put him down already!

OMG Moment: The sex. Because I was sure this show was going to turn celibate for the rest of the season.