Skip to main content

Extenze: Now Making Energy Shots



Questions for You:
Do you ever drink energy drinks and wish they could make your penis larger? 

If you responded yes, or even if you responded no, you’re in luck. Extenze has now gone for the energy 
drink salt lick and put a new shot-sized product that is identical in shape to 5 Hour Energy. 

So what’s the real deal? Is this a thrill or a lame chill? What’s it taste like? Does it provide results?
At first sip, the Extenze  Shot tastes rather strong, as do most in this size (giggles). It is like syrup, and it doesn’t taste as sweet as one can expect. 

After two minutes, I began to wonder “Why is my face hot?” IT’S MAKING THE WRONG HEAD EXTEND. They failed to mention on the label that this drink includes paranoia, and it also leads to hyperactivity such as humming show tunes off key. 

After three minutes, I began to wonder…why am I sweating? But only in my face? Like seriously, what is in this shit? My face is burning, and I am now sweating under my lip…..

After four minutes, I started to feel like chemicals were moving around inside my body, and suddenly things felt like a Phillip Morris factory…meaning they were fucking up. 

No results…..Other than Tingling.
What a tease?

This is the last time I will ever try this drink while driving.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

"Mon Soleil" - Ashley Park

If there's anything people take away from my piss-poor legacy, I hope it's what a huge, unabashed fan of "Emily in Paris" I am and will continue to be. People love "90 Day Fiancee," "The Bachelor," and other garbage - allow me "Emily," which is at least harmless, kind of goofy fluff (which does, unfortunately, lean into some stereotypes, as the country of Ukraine knows ). I have already watched Season 2 twice. And honestly my favorite part of this show (despite my crush on Camille Razart and Lily Collins channeling Audrey Hepburn hardcore ) is Ashley Park. This woman has superstar written all over her. She's a bona fide Broadway star, and "Emily in Paris" has served as her pivot into the zeitgeist.  "Emily in Paris" is also showcasing her vocal prowess front and center this season, with her covering BTS, "All By Myself," "Sympathtique," and Marilyn Monroe. But the real standout performance is th

"Anchors" - AM Higgins

Here's a nice breezy, almost sensual song from AM Higgins (the solo project of musician Annie Toth) to start your Tuesday off right.  Her debut album "Hymning" will be out November 5th on Victorialand Records. The album was mixed by Casey Foubert, a frequent collaborator of Sufjan Stevens. The album "captures the first years of moving from an American city to rural France." Sounds like "Hymning" will be a welcome escape from the world we live in right now, especially considering that Annie Toth counts poets Mary Oliver and Thomas Merton as influences.

Summer Playlist - 2022 Edition!

 It's truly the little things in life that make a world of difference. And for me, that means my summer playlist! Behold, I have put together 2022's edition. It includes cuts from artists like: - Mitski - Uffie - Johnny Orlando - Kylie Minogue + Jessie Ware - Florence and the Machine (who put out a fantastic album this year after a long dry spell of kind of "meh" records. Her pairing with Jack Antonoff worked out quite well!)  - Bilal - Harry Styles (he has some catchy music!)  - KATE BUSH DUH - And of course, Lana. It's also available on Apple Music, but since I recognize a lot of folks use Spotify, here's that link. Enjoy!