Maria Sharapova: Wins Silver at the Olympic Finals.

Another Women’s Gold Medal Tennis Match has come and bit the dust. The Olympic Finals are much like the grand slams of professional tennis, except they have so much more national pride….meaning that most of the viewers are actually watching Tennis for a change.

(Take a look at these photos provided by London2012.com . I don’t know who took these, but I am pretty sure they photographed them with a potato.)

Serena Williams took Gold: Who the Fuck Cares?

Maria Sharapova took Silver This was really beating me up. I frequently state that I am the world’s largest Maria Sharapova fan, not in size…just in the size of my heart! Bam, suck that Williams! Anyway, on a serious note, I was really hoping for Maria to win her first Gold Medal at the Olympics. In the famous words of Will Ferrell “There is nothing wrong with silver,” but fuck that noise, I wanted my Maria to win Gold. Instead, that boring tater salad Serena Williams took gold. That’s the kryptonite of my Olympics.

In other news: hailing from the nation of Belarus, Victoria Azarenka took Bronze. That has to give some hope and glory to the tiny Eastern European nation. As of now Belarus has only 5 medals, and only one gold….so congrats to Victoria for the making some noise for Belarus, and congrats to Maria for gaining silver, and THAT’S IT!

Questions for You:
Seriously, who the fuck took these photos?
Azarenka looks the best.

Comments

Give JR a Break

Recently, I've been reading some sites that have criticized James Roday, the lead actor on the USA show PSYCH for an apparent weight gain. But you know what? Who gives a flying fizzle stick if James Roday is slightly larger than he was 4 years ago. Apparently, it wasn't enough to scare away his current girlfriend/ co-star Maggie Lawson. (Who is one hell of a Catch!) And NO they are not engaged. That seems to be nothing more than a rumor, but there is a very high chance of it happening in the near future. Anyway, as long as PSYCH continues to entertain I don't mind about James Roday's waist. He, and Dule Hill, and Corbin Bernson too, can eat all the fried broccoli they want. The last episode of PSYCH wasn't so smashing, but I don't blame it on dietary issues. QATFYG: Are you keeping up with Psych? And who is hotter, James Roday or Maggie Lawson? (Trick Question but idk why) PS: If you have heard any more news on Roday and Lawson becoming Roday-Lawson, send it...

No Time to Fuck: The Goldfrapp Essay

Konnichiwa! This is Irina Cummings and I'm here to discuss one of the most brilliant, innovative, and creative artists in the entire history of mankind: Goldfrapp – or as I like to call them , GODfrapp – the fantastique, highly inspirational, and sometimes criminally overlooked electronic music duo from London consisting of Alison Goldfrapp and Will Gregory, whose godly music has certainly influenced the vast majority of today's synthpop ladies, including Lady Gaga, Little Boots, La Roux, Annie and Florence + the Machine (not electro but still worth your while). They're primarily known for their mind-blowing music (which have spanned pretty much every style of electronic music – and some non-electronic as well), their abstract, sexually ambiguous – at times forthright – lyrics which are often not gender- specific , and their elaborate shows, not to mention the amazing visual aesthetics of their work, conjuring images that masterly complement ...

Spotlight/Shoutout: OG Mudbone (One Year of S/S)

!!!ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY!!! Can you believe it's been a year already since Spotlight/Shoutout started off on the third Thursday of August? The first ever s/s went to Kyle MacLachlan, and then the spotlight was stolen by OG Mudbone...........the funniest man on earth according to some Youtube videos. For those of you who do not know, OG is an FOC "Freak of Co*k" adult film actor. And yes, I censored the C word, just in case the word cock offends anyone. OG Mudbone takes the 1 year prize because he's enormous (and he shoots and scores), and it doesn't matter if his adult entertainment masterworks are real or fake. His foul mouth is more exciting than many. Seriously, get some google images. height="385"> In other news, Spotlight/Shoutout has had some great ups this year. I hope there are many more to come, and indeed there will be. QATFYG: If anyone has seen his films, can you still drink soymilk? I can't! Happy 1 year!! s/s

The Useless Critic 2.0

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