Did you all have a lovely
holiday season? I hope so. Did you watch the Golden Globes, or at the
very least follow my amazing drunk live tweets of it? Well, Lena
Dunham won for her portrayal of Hannah Horvath on Girls, and
the show won for Best TV Series (Comedy or Musical). All of this
happening while Girls premiered its second season. So let’s
get to it. Oh, and on a side note, I’m not nearly as hung over as
I’d predicted.
Girls
Episode 1: It's About Time
Hannah—Her boyfriend Adam
got hit by a truck, and she kind of lost it. Ate cake on Coney
Island.
Shoshanna—Being
deflowered by acquaintance Ray. Also smoked crack.
Jessa—Got married to a
man she barely knows, but it’s Chris O’Dowd from Bridesmaids,
so I can’t really blame her.
Marnie—lost her mind at
Jessa’s hippie wedding, made out with that one guy from SNL
in front of her ex. Charlie.
Everyone's having a great morning! Hannah and her new
roommate, Elijah, wake up spooning in bed together. But it’s fine;
Elijah’s gay, he just doesn’t have a bed yet. “Sorry I have a
boner, it’s not for you.” Also, they keep saying they’re the
best roommates ever.
Shoshanna is cleansing her
room with sage, wishing for the higher powers to “ruin Ray’s
life.” Trouble in paradise? And Marnie goes to lunch with
her boss, who informs her she’s been “downsized” (aka fired).
Later, she has lunch with her mom (a very Real Housewives-looking
Rita Wilson), who tells Marnie all about the cater-waiter she’s
screwing. “Sometimes you need a pair of rough hands on your body,”
she says to her daughter’s disgust. Marnie tries to talk to her
mom about her troubles, but mom is more concerned with telling her
daughter she looks like she’s 30, not eating and trying to be
Marnie’s “friend.” Then they both drink more wine.
Hannah fucks Donald
Glover while Regina Spektor plays in the background. Nice. Also, I
don’t recall Donald’s character’s name, so he will be herein
referred to as “Donnie.” They run around a bookstore and act all
new-coupley. Hannah tells Donnie she doesn’t want to hear talk about
love; from now on she’s going to make logical, responsible
decisions. Donnie keenly observes that this is all about...
Adam. Yes, Hannah is
playing nursemaid to her ex, who’s leg is in a cast after the whole
“getting hit by a truck” thing. He’s all sorts of cranky,
probably because Hannah is wearing the ugliest pair of acid wash
denim shorts that I have ever seen.
But really, it’s more
about Hannah wanting to figure out their relationship (read: she
doesn’t want to be in a relationship with him), and Adam lets her
know if she doesn’t want to define things, that’s cool. And then
he lays down this bombshell “When you love someone, you don’t
have to be nice all the time.” She sits back down with him, and her
body language screams “This relationship is suffocating me but
I’m too nice to leave.” Haven’t we all been there? Next
morning, Hannah helps Adam pee in a pot. And to think she doesn’t
want to stay.
Later, her and Elijah get
ready for their party. They talk about how great living with each
other is, and how they should have parties all the time. “All your
nights can’t be food nights,” Elijah says. But you know what, I
beg to differ! He says he’d like to do some kind of Gertrude
Stein/Midnight in Paris/Squeaky Fromme party. They both giggle at how
amazing it is to be roommates. I can’t imagine this will end well.
Shoshanna shows up early
dressed as a 1920s ballerina. She rambles on about how she’s
totally over Ray (she’s not). “I’ve been deflowered, not
devalued.” Shoshanna is quickly becoming my favorite character
aside from Hannah. And her excruciating karaoke is painful and
hilarious to watch.
She has an encounter with
Ray while she searches for something amongst the bags and purses.
It’s one of the most adorable fights ever. They kiss and make up,
and spill beer all over everyone’s stuff.
Elsewhere, Marnie and
Charlie have an awkward series of conversations all night. Charlie’s
girlfriend is so over everything. Plus she’s dressed like a Native
American Olivia Newton-John in the “Let’s Get Physical” video,
so that might be where all the bitchiness is coming from.
Marnie and Hannah have a
quick pow-wow (see what I did there?) about their friendship. They
seem farther apart. Hannah chalks it up to her working all the time,
plus her new job of playing nursemaid to Adam. But the conversation
is cut short when Elijah barges in. His boyfriend, George, is drunk
and will not get the fuck out. George also threw some major shade at
all the tragic hipsters at the party for being totally dull. It’s
true. Hannah comes to the
rescue—sort of—by taking George outside, and just as he says how
sweet Hannah is, she runs inside and locks him out.
After the party’s over
Elijah and Marnie sing “Building a Mystery,” (excellent choice).
And talk about George and Charlie and sex. It leads Marnie to confess
“I could never be a gay man, I hate giving blowjobs [of course you
don’t] and having anal sex...I assume.” Elijah confesses that
maybe he’s bisexual? They make out and get naked. Elijah tries to
stick it in her but can’t get it up. He notices her roll her eyes
(and she does, I watched it twice), and it’s downhill from there.
Later, Marnie finds comfort
in the arms of Charlie. They might or might not have sex.
After the unpleasantness
with George, Hannah swings by Adam’s to drop off supplies. She’s
tired of this whole mess of a relationship, she essentially says.
Adam doesn’t understand after all the amazing times they had—he
made her whole body feel like a clit, after all—that she’s
suddenly over it. “I’d die if you go away,” he says as I stifle
a cringe. Hannah, cut the cord, honey. Also, that motherfucker has
crutches. Why does he need Hannah to do everything for him? Enabling,
am I rite?
 |
| No, I'm totally right. |
“Can I borrow The
Fountainhead?” Hannah asks Donnie as she walks into his apartment,
drops her dress and bra and falls onto his bed. Super-hot ending to a super-hot season premiere.
Enlightened
Episode 1: The Key
Did you know
Laura Dern won the same Golden Globe last year for her performance of
Amy Jellicoe? It's true! So maybe now that it's on after Girls,
it will get the viewers and recognition that if deserves. And I know
what you’re all thinking “But Kurt, Laura Dern is so unlikable in
this show. It’s not haha funny, it makes me uncomfortable. I don’t
like to watch TV shows that make me think and that have ambiguous,
realistic characters.” Well, my friends, you’ve come to the wrong
recap, then.
Last
season, Amy got a hold of the email accounts of the Abaddonn
executives. The premiere picks up soon after. Amy has had a glimpse
of the dark inner workings of her company. “What if this kingdom
really is cursed?” Her voice narrates. “What if you knew how to
break the spell?”
The
next morning, Amy talks to her mother about fate. She doesn’t
believe in it, but Amy does: “sword in the rock” fate. Amy also
takes an article out of the paper featuring a journalist she has her
eye on, but won’t go into specifics. She leaves for work in her
still busted up car.
She
talks with her poor, put upon co-worker Tyler about all the horrible
things she read the other night. Apparently the executives are awful
people. She wants Tyler to help her take the company down, but he
really, really doesn’t want any part of it. He let Amy use his
password to hack into the accounts in the first place. She also tells
him about Jeff Flender, a journalist specializing in exposing the
tyranny of capitalism and corporate greed.
During
their lunch break, Amy calls Jeff’s office and leaves a voicemail.
She also drops a bombshell on Tyler: Abaddonn is shutting down
Cogentiva (that’s where they work). Till then, Tyler wasn’t too
concerned with Amy’s passion for justice. He decides to help her
again.
At
the office, Amy gets a call from Jeff Flender (Dermot Mulroney,
looking good, might I add) and they set up a meeting at TGIFridays
for that evening.
Later,
Amy and Tyler tell their creepy boss that they’re working late, but
really they’re printing out all the awful corporate
correspondences. Until the power goes off. Then they freak out, grab
all they’ve printed out and head for the door. They have a
hilarious encounter with security as well.
Amy takes all the info with
her to her meeting with Jeff. I can’t help but laugh at the thought
of having a clandestine meeting at TGIFridays. Anyhoo, Jeff seems
intrigued but also a little worried at how crazy Amy is. She’s kind
of a live wire. Regardless, he says he’ll look over her information
and get back to her. Yeah, right.
Imagine my surprise when he
actually does call her back the next day. Totally thought he was
going to blow her off. He wants to meet again, but this time at his
place in LA. Amy knows her car won’t make the drive, so she pleads
with Tyler to drive her out there (apparently Riverside and LA are
far away? I have no idea). He’s hesitant, but ultimately agrees.
They park, and Amy tells
Tyler to wait in the car. What a jerk! She meets with Jeff, and he
doesn’t think there’s much of a story in nasty emails. Amy’s
incensed, and even moreso when he asks about her revenge plot. She
goes to leave, but he thinks there might be an even bigger story at
Abaddonn. Paying off govt officials
Back in the car, she tells
Tyler that Abaddonn is paying off government officials, and with
their help, Jeff can take them down. Tyler doesn’t want any part of
it.
And here is one of the many
reasons I love this show. Amy gives an impassioned speech to Tyler
about how she felt alive, and she felt like somebody doing something
important, and not just dying. I can’t really do justice to it; go
watch it for yourselves. The episode ends with Amy’s lovely
narration. “No kingdom lasts forever.”
So, it’s funny in a weird
way how Girls and Enlightened are similar. Aren’t
they both shows about people wanting to be something? And to figure
out their place in the world? Maybe that’s why I’m so drawn to
each show.
Anyhoo, I can’t wait for
next week! See you then!
NICE
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