Skip to main content

Songs That Won't Set Any Mood for Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is coming up and I hope you have plans. Like a fat hooker named Marta coming in from Youngstown to knead your flesh like dough. Perhaps you will dine on a tub of better alone, weeping. Or perhaps you are one of those fortunate people who will be celebrating love with the one you love.  Anyway: Godspeed.



:)

Last year, we all made our Valentine's Day playlists, some in jest and some in earnest. This year- I'm trying a different approach (and solo I guess). 

So, if you want to establish a truly romantic experience, please avoid these songs by any means:


Michael Bolton need not touch anyone ANYWHERE. Plus, who the hell says "can I touch you there?" midsex? Really? No! Get away from my elbow!!!!

Would you kick that man out of bed for his dreads? All I can think about is "Bruno."

"Puppy Love" will not get you laid. FYI.



Depressing music should be avoided. Or whatever. It's your call bro.

Nico should also be avoided, unless your Valentine's Day plans involve falling down a well. 

AND, OF COURSE

Who could forget this classic from Eamon? Who could forget Eamon? ....


Enjoy your Valentine's Day kids! Remember:  Use protection! And no one likes crabs but in salads! 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Give JR a Break

Recently, I've been reading some sites that have criticized James Roday, the lead actor on the USA show PSYCH for an apparent weight gain. But you know what? Who gives a flying fizzle stick if James Roday is slightly larger than he was 4 years ago. Apparently, it wasn't enough to scare away his current girlfriend/ co-star Maggie Lawson. (Who is one hell of a Catch!) And NO they are not engaged. That seems to be nothing more than a rumor, but there is a very high chance of it happening in the near future. Anyway, as long as PSYCH continues to entertain I don't mind about James Roday's waist. He, and Dule Hill, and Corbin Bernson too, can eat all the fried broccoli they want. The last episode of PSYCH wasn't so smashing, but I don't blame it on dietary issues. QATFYG: Are you keeping up with Psych? And who is hotter, James Roday or Maggie Lawson? (Trick Question but idk why) PS: If you have heard any more news on Roday and Lawson becoming Roday-Lawson, send it...

No Time to Fuck: The Goldfrapp Essay

Konnichiwa! This is Irina Cummings and I'm here to discuss one of the most brilliant, innovative, and creative artists in the entire history of mankind: Goldfrapp – or as I like to call them , GODfrapp – the fantastique, highly inspirational, and sometimes criminally overlooked electronic music duo from London consisting of Alison Goldfrapp and Will Gregory, whose godly music has certainly influenced the vast majority of today's synthpop ladies, including Lady Gaga, Little Boots, La Roux, Annie and Florence + the Machine (not electro but still worth your while). They're primarily known for their mind-blowing music (which have spanned pretty much every style of electronic music – and some non-electronic as well), their abstract, sexually ambiguous – at times forthright – lyrics which are often not gender- specific , and their elaborate shows, not to mention the amazing visual aesthetics of their work, conjuring images that masterly complement ...

Flashback Friday: Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23

Since I was unable to post this week's TBT yesterday, I decided to make up for it with a Flashback Friday today. But instead of posting about music, I'll be paying tribute to an awesome TV show that was gone too soon: Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23 . Exactly two weeks ago (yes, I'm often late due to my eminent laziness), on April 11, the pilot episode turned two years old. In the opening scene, June (Dreama Walker) comes home to find her new roommate, Chloe (the amazing Krysten Ritter), having sex with her fiancé on her birthday cake as " Infinity Guitars " by Sleigh Bells plays in the background. Classy And that was just one of many crazy, unexpected things that happened throughout the show. For instance, Chloe tried to set June up with her father (a fact initially unbeknownst to June) just so he would cheat on her mother, who happens to be in a wheelchair. The list goes on, but I don't want to spoil the fun for those who haven't...