Skip to main content

In Which I Reveal I Am A Liam/Miley Expert

I have times where I can't sleep, just like every  other human. 


I don't have that kind of ugly ass alarm clock.

I do my celebrity gossip reading then. This week was particularly bad for me sleep-wise. So I decided to familarize myself with the Liam and Miley schism because that seemed important.


Don't ask me how this happened. I don't have answers. I'm not even straight and this strikes me as wrong. 
This young couple- full of brains, beauty and arguably talent -has hit the skids lately. Allegedly. This isn't the first time for these two. Aren't the best relationships built on tumult? I'm looking at YOU, Michelle Obama.
Huh?

That being said, I think we all know Miley Cyrus has gone INSANE in the past few years. I judge that based off her faux-Robyn haircut (bitch ain't no Robyn!) And she recently quoted Jeff Buckley on Twitter, which I found troubling.

 Now sources- I don't know who the fuck "sources" are- are saying their really weird engagement is done. The couple, who met as co-stars in the Nicholas Sparks snoozefest "The Last Song," has been traveling apart as of late. Yes, I know these things. There's also a word for irrational hatred of Anne Hathaway (Hathahate).

Liam has been cheating on Miley. Which I would be doing as well, given his case. Who has he been slobbering all over? Let's take a look:
January Jones. I'm not surprised because she's kind of an evil skank. She's also 35 and super-hot. So I said it. I think with my sex organs, bear with me.

 AND PERHAPS....
Emma Watson. Personally I love Emma Watson. I feel she is an Olive Garden and Miley is a Taco Bell, so go Liam (if this is legit).

 I mean did you see her Burberry campaign? "The Perks of Being a Wallflower?" The first Harry Potter film? 

 And meanwhile:

Liam! Get off that Crazy Train! You do not want Billy Ray as a father-in-law! 

So here is to hoping I sleep better this week. 
Labels:

Comments

  1. Irina CummingsMarch 18, 2013 at 9:36 PM

    I always thought Liam was waaay out of Miley's low-rent league. I mean, lawd, what the hell is up with that Gwen/Robyn/Pink wannabe 'do of hers? No. Just no. Btw, if one of these "sources"/"insiders" ever claim to have spotted Liam getting freeky with a mysterious, fair-skinned brunette, well... you know who dat is (cue "Maneater" by Nelly Furtado).

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"Mon Soleil" - Ashley Park

If there's anything people take away from my piss-poor legacy, I hope it's what a huge, unabashed fan of "Emily in Paris" I am and will continue to be. People love "90 Day Fiancee," "The Bachelor," and other garbage - allow me "Emily," which is at least harmless, kind of goofy fluff (which does, unfortunately, lean into some stereotypes, as the country of Ukraine knows ). I have already watched Season 2 twice. And honestly my favorite part of this show (despite my crush on Camille Razart and Lily Collins channeling Audrey Hepburn hardcore ) is Ashley Park. This woman has superstar written all over her. She's a bona fide Broadway star, and "Emily in Paris" has served as her pivot into the zeitgeist.  "Emily in Paris" is also showcasing her vocal prowess front and center this season, with her covering BTS, "All By Myself," "Sympathtique," and Marilyn Monroe. But the real standout performance is th
Post a Comment
Read more

Appropriate Holiday Gift Ideas for the Single Lady

While some people may see it as a drag, there are plenty of benefits to being single during the holiday season. During this time of the year, there are tons of parties you can attend that you may not have had the opportunity to if you were in a relationship. There’s also not as much stress on you as a single gal during the holidays because you don’t have to shop for your partner and extended family members  or  stress over where to eat Christmas dinner.  Not everyone sees the bright side of being fancy free during the holidays, and, tragically, they aren't afraid to let us single ladies know. Not only are single women subjected to even more harassment and ridicule during the holiday season, they’re also given the most obnoxious gifts by those who can’t comprehend how anyone can be both happy and single. Whether it’s a self-help book (desperately) trying to reinforce how great is to be single or the gift of a year-long subscription to Match.com , single women are presented with
Post a Comment
Read more

"High Tide, Storm Rising" - Skinshape

A new Skinshape LP is on the way as of October 28th! "Nostalgia" promises to delve into the world of motives and motifs. Will Dorey (AKA Skinshape) has described this particular track "High Tide, Storm Rising" as "the main theme song of a movie." And if you have read any of my prior posts, you know I'm a sucker for anything cinematic.  Here's a full look at the Skinshape "Nostalgia" track listing: 01. Theme For Lazarus 02. Better Chances 03. Dreams of Panama 04. Moonlight Walk  05. Albion 06. High Tide, Storm Rising 07. Turn Away 08. Bohanon's Cornucopia 09. Bad Dreams 10. Fish & Chips 11. Dawn I would try to include something about live shows, but the soulful likes of Skinahape simply prefer to record and NOT perform live, which is an interesting choice in today's world.  Once again, "Nostalgia" is out everywhere as of Oct. 28th.
Post a Comment
Read more