Skip to main content

In Which I Reveal I Am A Liam/Miley Expert

I have times where I can't sleep, just like every  other human. 


I don't have that kind of ugly ass alarm clock.

I do my celebrity gossip reading then. This week was particularly bad for me sleep-wise. So I decided to familarize myself with the Liam and Miley schism because that seemed important.


Don't ask me how this happened. I don't have answers. I'm not even straight and this strikes me as wrong. 
This young couple- full of brains, beauty and arguably talent -has hit the skids lately. Allegedly. This isn't the first time for these two. Aren't the best relationships built on tumult? I'm looking at YOU, Michelle Obama.
Huh?

That being said, I think we all know Miley Cyrus has gone INSANE in the past few years. I judge that based off her faux-Robyn haircut (bitch ain't no Robyn!) And she recently quoted Jeff Buckley on Twitter, which I found troubling.

 Now sources- I don't know who the fuck "sources" are- are saying their really weird engagement is done. The couple, who met as co-stars in the Nicholas Sparks snoozefest "The Last Song," has been traveling apart as of late. Yes, I know these things. There's also a word for irrational hatred of Anne Hathaway (Hathahate).

Liam has been cheating on Miley. Which I would be doing as well, given his case. Who has he been slobbering all over? Let's take a look:
January Jones. I'm not surprised because she's kind of an evil skank. She's also 35 and super-hot. So I said it. I think with my sex organs, bear with me.

 AND PERHAPS....
Emma Watson. Personally I love Emma Watson. I feel she is an Olive Garden and Miley is a Taco Bell, so go Liam (if this is legit).

 I mean did you see her Burberry campaign? "The Perks of Being a Wallflower?" The first Harry Potter film? 

 And meanwhile:

Liam! Get off that Crazy Train! You do not want Billy Ray as a father-in-law! 

So here is to hoping I sleep better this week. 
Labels:

Comments

  1. Irina CummingsMarch 18, 2013 at 9:36 PM

    I always thought Liam was waaay out of Miley's low-rent league. I mean, lawd, what the hell is up with that Gwen/Robyn/Pink wannabe 'do of hers? No. Just no. Btw, if one of these "sources"/"insiders" ever claim to have spotted Liam getting freeky with a mysterious, fair-skinned brunette, well... you know who dat is (cue "Maneater" by Nelly Furtado).

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Give JR a Break

Recently, I've been reading some sites that have criticized James Roday, the lead actor on the USA show PSYCH for an apparent weight gain. But you know what? Who gives a flying fizzle stick if James Roday is slightly larger than he was 4 years ago. Apparently, it wasn't enough to scare away his current girlfriend/ co-star Maggie Lawson. (Who is one hell of a Catch!) And NO they are not engaged. That seems to be nothing more than a rumor, but there is a very high chance of it happening in the near future. Anyway, as long as PSYCH continues to entertain I don't mind about James Roday's waist. He, and Dule Hill, and Corbin Bernson too, can eat all the fried broccoli they want. The last episode of PSYCH wasn't so smashing, but I don't blame it on dietary issues. QATFYG: Are you keeping up with Psych? And who is hotter, James Roday or Maggie Lawson? (Trick Question but idk why) PS: If you have heard any more news on Roday and Lawson becoming Roday-Lawson, send it...
15 comments
Read more

No Time to Fuck: The Goldfrapp Essay

Konnichiwa! This is Irina Cummings and I'm here to discuss one of the most brilliant, innovative, and creative artists in the entire history of mankind: Goldfrapp – or as I like to call them , GODfrapp – the fantastique, highly inspirational, and sometimes criminally overlooked electronic music duo from London consisting of Alison Goldfrapp and Will Gregory, whose godly music has certainly influenced the vast majority of today's synthpop ladies, including Lady Gaga, Little Boots, La Roux, Annie and Florence + the Machine (not electro but still worth your while). They're primarily known for their mind-blowing music (which have spanned pretty much every style of electronic music – and some non-electronic as well), their abstract, sexually ambiguous – at times forthright – lyrics which are often not gender- specific , and their elaborate shows, not to mention the amazing visual aesthetics of their work, conjuring images that masterly complement ...
3 comments
Read more

An Open Letter to the Actress: Milena Govich

Dear Milena Govich, Hey, how are you? What is up? Well, I assume you might get 5-7 fan letters a week, but I hope the glitter on my envelope stood out to you. In all seriousness, I have not been the most loyal fan of your filmography, but in the opening credits of the 2006 show, “Conviction,” I got to see you in your underwear. Ever since then, I have been one of your most active online stalkers (not a crime in all states I think). In the next letter, I promise to include an underwear photo for you, so we'll be even. Milena, I remember even back to the days when you worked on one of those other 200 Dick Wolf projects you did...what was the name of that show? “Law and Order.” Yes, that was it. You made history as playing the first female lead detective on the “Law and Order” original franchise for your role as Detective Cassidy. However, I will have to note your performance was strongly tainted when Chevy Chase guest-starred and gave you the nickname, “Detective Sugar-Tits.” At leas...
1 comment
Read more