Skip to main content

2 Broke Girls recap: And the Worst Selfie Ever

First of all, exciting news for us, Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23 fans: ABC announced on Thursday that the eight unaired episodes of the show will be available online starting May 17 on, iTunes, and Hulu! I can't wait! I'm so glad I'll finally get some much-deserved, post-cancellation closure. In the meantime, here's my belated recap of this week's episode of the recently renewed 2 Broke Girls.

The girls are excited about their purchases at the Under a Dollar store—Caroline bought new sheets, while Max got herself a steak and a "steak-eating chair." However, Caroline accidentally rips her sheets after using fabric softener to wash it. "Thread count: Yes. Washing instructions: Do not wash," Caroline reads from the tag. Max's chair also rips when she sits on it. "Instructions: Do not sit," Max reads from the label. That is some weird-ass store.

In the morning, Max wakes up to find a candy trail outside her bedroom. She is soon surprised to find Caroline in bed with Andy. After he goes to the bathroom, Max asks Caroline if they're back together, but Caroline claims it's just a one-time thing. As Caroline gets out of bed wrapped in her sheets, Max calls her "the Greek goddess of booty calls, Aphro-whitey." Andy has to leave, and Caroline is not sure how to behave in this situation since it's her very first booty call, so she asks Max for advice. "I usually wave at him with my arm clenched, 'cause I'm hiding his wallet in it," Max says. Caroline ends up awkwardly saluting him goodbye.

Caroline wants to text Andy for another booty call after work, followed by a "booty breakfast." "As president of the Casual Sex Society, local chapter, I call bull on your booty," Max says. Caroline insists it's just a booty call, but Max knows better: "You think that booty breakfast will maybe lead to a booty dinner then maybe booty engaged and booty married and have a couple booty kids and a booty retirement home and then booty die together." Suddenly, Caroline begins to clench her legs, saying she feels something down there. "You woke it up, now it's hungry. But you don't take it back to the same restaurant," Max wisely says.

Han comes in wearing a suit and bow tie—he is expecting a date he met online. A blonde girl walks into the diner looking for Han, but as soon as she sees him, she realizes she left something in her car and tells him she will be right back. Han wonders if she's coming back. "Jesus is coming back before she is," Earl replies. A heartbroken Han insists their profiles matched perfectly, so the girls look at his profile. "That's the hot Asian star from Hawaii Five-0," Caroline says. Max decides to help him find the right girl. Caroline wants to text Andy about getting back together, but Max breaks the news to her that he is seeing someone—well, a few someones. Caroline connects her itch to those possible lady friends of his.

Back in the apartment, Caroline browses WebMD in order to figure out her situation. Max is particularly appalled by a photo submitted by Jen from New Rochelle. Caroline says it's just a rash, although Dr. Web thinks it might be herpes. Since Caroline can't bend over to see it, Max offers to take a look, but Caroline doesn't feel comfortable showing Max her vagina, and instead decides to take a selfie with her iPhone 3. "And that's how Kim Kardashian became famous," Max points out. Caroline even uses a filter on the photo before letting Max see it. When Sophie drops by, she immediately notices that Caroline has the "herp walk." She offers to check it out as well, as she was a nurse back in Poland. Max shows her the picture, and Caroline decides she will go to a free clinic.

At the free clinic, Caroline tells the sassy black receptionist, Shirley, that she needs to be tested for herpes. Upon learning that the blood test costs $250, Caroline decides to ask Andy for a loan. If that wasn't tragic enough, Max runs into a really cute but somewhat sketchy guy she hooked up with once, prompting her to grab a sexual history form to possibly get tested, too.

While waiting for Andy at a coffee shop, Max is having a comically hard time tracking her sexual history list. Andy comes in and Caroline shows him the picture of her presumably infected vagina, which Max calls the "worst selfie ever." Meanwhile, Max herself is unsure whether she slept with the bartender. "He is my type, and yet, he has a job, so he's not." Andy assures that since they broke up, he has only had safe sex with two women. He says he will go get tested nonetheless, and advises Caroline not to go to the worst-case scenario. She is convinced that if they both have herpes, no one else will want them, so they might as well get married. "'You gave me herpes, now you have to marry me.' You wanna save that gold for our wedding vows?" Andy jokes. "If you don't use it, I will," Max says.

At the diner, Caroline is anxious about her test results, having already called the clinic a dozen times. Shirley walks in, and even though she's not allowed to give Caroline the results without a doctor, she finds a way of telling her in codes that she is clean and it was probably an allergic reaction to the cheap fabric softener she used to wash her sheets. As for Max, she will go to the clinic the next day as she is waiting for a call back from John Mayer (LOL). Another girl walks into the diner looking for Han—it's the girl Max set him up with. And she's none other than Jen from New Rochelle. Caroline is in shock, but Max jokes that it could just be an allergic reaction to her laundry detergent.

Max comes home with her test results—surprisingly enough, she is totally clean. She helps Caroline realize that ever since the cupcake business closed, she is using Andy to fill a hole (cue double entendre). Caroline declares that they have to restart their business, and this time, they have to give it their all. Sophie shows up with a solution to Caroline's problem: "Just don't tell anyone!" Caroline says she doesn't have herpes, to which Sophie replies, "That's it! That's the way to do it! Problem solved."

Current total: $205.00


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"Mon Soleil" - Ashley Park

If there's anything people take away from my piss-poor legacy, I hope it's what a huge, unabashed fan of "Emily in Paris" I am and will continue to be. People love "90 Day Fiancee," "The Bachelor," and other garbage - allow me "Emily," which is at least harmless, kind of goofy fluff (which does, unfortunately, lean into some stereotypes, as the country of Ukraine knows ). I have already watched Season 2 twice. And honestly my favorite part of this show (despite my crush on Camille Razart and Lily Collins channeling Audrey Hepburn hardcore ) is Ashley Park. This woman has superstar written all over her. She's a bona fide Broadway star, and "Emily in Paris" has served as her pivot into the zeitgeist.  "Emily in Paris" is also showcasing her vocal prowess front and center this season, with her covering BTS, "All By Myself," "Sympathtique," and Marilyn Monroe. But the real standout performance is th

Appropriate Holiday Gift Ideas for the Single Lady

While some people may see it as a drag, there are plenty of benefits to being single during the holiday season. During this time of the year, there are tons of parties you can attend that you may not have had the opportunity to if you were in a relationship. There’s also not as much stress on you as a single gal during the holidays because you don’t have to shop for your partner and extended family members  or  stress over where to eat Christmas dinner.  Not everyone sees the bright side of being fancy free during the holidays, and, tragically, they aren't afraid to let us single ladies know. Not only are single women subjected to even more harassment and ridicule during the holiday season, they’re also given the most obnoxious gifts by those who can’t comprehend how anyone can be both happy and single. Whether it’s a self-help book (desperately) trying to reinforce how great is to be single or the gift of a year-long subscription to , single women are presented with

Give JR a Break

Recently, I've been reading some sites that have criticized James Roday, the lead actor on the USA show PSYCH for an apparent weight gain. But you know what? Who gives a flying fizzle stick if James Roday is slightly larger than he was 4 years ago. Apparently, it wasn't enough to scare away his current girlfriend/ co-star Maggie Lawson. (Who is one hell of a Catch!) And NO they are not engaged. That seems to be nothing more than a rumor, but there is a very high chance of it happening in the near future. Anyway, as long as PSYCH continues to entertain I don't mind about James Roday's waist. He, and Dule Hill, and Corbin Bernson too, can eat all the fried broccoli they want. The last episode of PSYCH wasn't so smashing, but I don't blame it on dietary issues. QATFYG: Are you keeping up with Psych? And who is hotter, James Roday or Maggie Lawson? (Trick Question but idk why) PS: If you have heard any more news on Roday and Lawson becoming Roday-Lawson, send it