Episode
3
What’s Eating Dexter Morgan?
Dexter
wakes up in the middle of the night to Harrison’s cries. At first
it seems like a dream; Dex follows red splotches on the floor to the
bathroom. He instead finds Harrison on the bathroom floor, an empty
box of cherry popsicles beside him.
Instead
of making the kid puke it up, Dex gives him a shot of pepto and sends
him to bed. The very thought of all that sugar and red 40 makes me
want to puke just thinking about it.
Elsewhere,
Deb gets taken into the police station for an almost-DUI. She also
wrecked a parking meter with her car. And who does she call? Not
Dexter, not Elway, no she calls fucking Quinn, who is asleep with
Jamie when she calls. He makes an excuse of “police stuff” and
runs to Deb’s rescue.
Next
morning, Dex and Miami Metro investigate the backwoods cabin (that
Dex already discovered last ep). Instead of finding the body of
supposed killer Sussman on meat hooks, they find him with a hole in
his head on the floor of the cabin. Looks like he committed shotgun
suicide. But Dex knows better. This is just the real killer covering
their tracks.
While
everyone else is at the crime scene, Quinn drives Deb to work. He’s
worried about her and she snaps at him. He also relates her current
bender to his downward spiral when she dumped him. Alright Dexter
writers, I see what you’re doing here. Stop. Stop trying to make
Quinn a likable character. I’ve invested too much into hating him
these past few seasons for you to try and change things up now.
Vogel
gets a creepy text message to “look outside.” Seeing no one
outside, she opens her door to find two neatly wrapped presents, with
“his” and “hers” tags on each, respectively. No surprise that
there’s brain bits inside.
She
joins Dex at the crime scene—she was going there anyway—and shows
Dex the bits of occipital lobe. The killer’s clever way of telling
them both that he (or she) is watching. Dex has also been doing
research on all of Vogel’s former patients, and may have found one
that fits the criteria for the Brain Surgeon. Ron G, who had
strangled his best friend, but he lied to Vogel during his treatment.
Basically she’s responsible for sending him to prison for several
years. But he’s out now.
Quinn
finally shows up to the crime scene, much to Angel’s dismay. But
Quinn don’t care, he more concerned with Deb. He tells Dex about
Deb’s decline, and Dex goes to pay her a visit at work. But not
before Vogel can question Dex about his relationship with his sister.
He tells her that Deb knows everything about him, and that it’s
eating away at her. Vogel is surprised that he cares so much, what
with him being a psychopath and all.
Deb
and Elway have an interview with a new client, a, blonde cougar who
wants them to spy on her cheating ex. Deb is maudlin and doesn’t
really care, but Elway charms the client.
Dex
shows up—of course—and asks Deb out to dinner. She reluctantly
accepts, if only because it will get him out of her office. I should
also note that Deb has been wearing the same clothes for at least the
last episode.
Later
at Miami Metro, Angel goes over the current cases. The Brain Surgeon
case is closed following the suicide of the killer, and the El Sapo
case is effectively done, with no witnesses and Dex having switched
out Deb’s gun so she won’t be incriminated. While Dex searches
for Ron, Vogel’s former patient, on his fancy phone, Angel talks to
Matthews about making Quinn sergeant. If Matthews had been drinking
when Angel said that, it would have been a great spit-take.
Meanwhile,
Deb and Elway do surveillance for their new client. They find her
husband screwing a girl in his truck and snap some photos. To pass
the time, Elway chats Deb up about Quinn. She gives him the details,
and Elway finds it odd that the two of them are still friends after
it all.
Dex
stalkes Ron at his job in the mall. He’s one of those fitness guys
trying to sell people ridiculous exercise machines. Dex narrates, is
he sizing me up? Does he want my brain? No, Dex, I think he wants
your D, not your brain. Dex even baits him by talking about Vogel’s
book, but Ron doesn’t take it.
After
his casual encounter with Ron, Dex goes to Vogel’s to give her the
scoop. He’s going to break into Ron’s place soon to get more
info.
The
two of them chat more about Dexter’s nature. She asks why he didn’t
kill Deb after she found out. After all, the first rule of the code
is “don’t get caught.” Dex says it’s because he loves Deb.
When Vogel asks for specifics—what do you love about her?—he says
it’s because she’s always there for him. And that’s why he
wants to be there for her, too.
But
Vogel says it’s not a good idea. He loves Deb because of what she
can do for Dex. Him trying to help Deb is like “Michaelangelo
trying to play the Banjo...you can’t be the cause and the
solution.” She offers to help Deb herself, but Dex refuses.
Elsewhere,
Angel helps Quinn cram for the sergeant’s exam over dinner with
Jamie. She mentions that case they had to take real late at night,
and Angel is confused. What case?Quinn tells Jamie that he went to
help Deb, and you can probably guess her reaction.
At
the Morgan family dinner, Dex tries to make Deb remember what a good
person she is, citing her daring apprehension of a killer in an
earlier season. He solidifies this point by alerting her presence to
one of the people she saved that day at a table nearby.
Later
Dex breaks into Ron’s place, and while he doesn’t find the Brain
Surgeon as he’d hoped, he finds a cannibal fitness expert with
human parts in the freezer and a marinating brain in the fridge.
Deb
and Elway show the incriminating photos to their client, who denies
that it’s her husband. Later, Deb wallows in yet more booze,
watching that video of her over and over and she somehow finds
herself in the elevator of Miami Metro.
She
stumbles over to Quinn, and tells him that she wants to confess. She
killed LaGuerta. He sneaks her into the interview room, and she’s
not making any sense. Quinn tries to get her to remember that she
wasn’t even there, that Estrada killed LaGuerta. Deb’s sobbing
and going off the deep end. While she scribbles down her confession,
Quinn calls Dex.
Dex
and Vogel are going over more suspects when Quinn calls. Dex goes to
leave, but Vogel goes with him, wanting to help. Plus, she doesn’t
think Dex realizes that Deb sacrificed everything to help him.
At
the station, Vogel spins a story about PTSD and suvivor’s guilt to
allay Quinn’s fears. Leaving Quinn outside, Vogel and Dex try to
reason with Deb, but she is freaking out. Falling back on his
instincts, Dex injects Deb with tranquilizer (“Well, that was
interesting,” Vogel quips.) and carries Deb out of Miami Metro with
help from Quinn of all people.
They
take Deb back to her place. Vogel insists she stay with Deb alone, to
see if she can get through to her. Dex handcuffs Deb to the couch,
you know, just in case. Dex leaves Vogel with Deb, seeing as how he
has somewhere else to be.
And
in what seems like forever, we finally get to see Dex kill someone!
It’s cannibal Ron.
Till next week, folks! In the meantime, enjoy this wtf pic of Jamie and Harrison.
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