The new Haim album, "Days Are Gone," Is Like a Summer Breeze. Or 1980s Fleetwood Mac.

HOT.

So the new Haim album came out, but it's beginning to feel as if it's been here for ages. 2013 is the year of Haim. McDonald's is now doing shit with them. As demonstrated in my previous post, I have mixed feelings about THAT.

These three sisters from Cali have won my heart. What to make of their new album, though?

Well, it's a bit corny. And it's a bit cheesy, but in the best possible way really. I wish this album had dropped this summer, because it's a perfect summer album. It's pretty upbeat and if I danced, it'd be to this kind of folk/r&b music.

I do not dance, and it's always summer in Phoenix. LET'S NOT KID OURSELVES.

Anyway, they play Phoenix on Oct. 19. I will be there.

So, let's do this! In the spirit of what I did with Oh Land and Wild Belle, let's dissect this track by track. P.S. this album came out today! I am so on the ball.

Yes, I am a sucker for a band with a pretty girl! I know; I see the pattern too.

1.) "Falling"- Hands down, an awesome track. This is like the song the 1980s forgot. And it's totally empowering. If you don't get into this song, there is a cucumber where there should be a heart. Asshole. A+

2.) "Forever"- Not as great as the previous track, but very memorable. And, if hip-jerking was a word, THIS would be it. Haim's choruses kill me. Their harmonies? Splendid. A+

3.) "The Wire"- This even has handclaps! This reminds me of that "Rocky Mountain" song by Joe Walsh. Very catchy. A

4.) "If I Could Change Your Mind"- This is a little more of a dramatic r&b ballad than the other tracks. The lead vocalist is trying to be a young Whitney Houston here. A+

BREAK:

5.) "Don't Save Me"- I wish I could have sex with this song in a bathroom stall. No, seriously! This song is awesome. A+

6.) "Honey & I"- Sounding a lot like the Mac when Christina McVie has lead vocals here. Probably my least favorite song here- it's too saccharine. B

7.) "Days Are Gone"- I almost see hand gestures to this song in my mind. Kind of a nice departure, as another sister has taken over vocals. Actually all three sisters- Danielle, Este and Alana- all switch vocals here. HOT. A+

8.) "My Song #5"- This is the weirdest track. But it's kind of cool how it builds up. And the r&b influence here is so strong. It's arguably the most experimental track here, which is commendable. However, I think it falls somewhat flat. A-

9.) "Go Slow"- Slow jamz time. The harmonies on "heat" are incredible. "Heat, heat, heat." This has 1985 top 40 single all over it. B+

10.) "Let Me Go"- This one is rightfully more somber than the other tracks. It almost seems like it has a Native American influence. It's awe-inducing. And the percussion! And the percussion. AND THE PERCUSSION. "I gave you everything I could give you." Girl, I hear you. Now you are a husk, It blows. A

11.) "Running If You Call My Name"- Meh. This is pretty cheese-tastic. B-

Rating; 96/100

Seriously! It's that good! Check it out NOW!

"Mon Soleil" - Ashley Park

If there's anything people take away from my piss-poor legacy, I hope it's what a huge, unabashed fan of "Emily in Paris" I am and will continue to be. People love "90 Day Fiancee," "The Bachelor," and other garbage - allow me "Emily," which is at least harmless, kind of goofy fluff (which does, unfortunately, lean into some stereotypes, as the country of Ukraine knows ). I have already watched Season 2 twice. And honestly my favorite part of this show (despite my crush on Camille Razart and Lily Collins channeling Audrey Hepburn hardcore ) is Ashley Park. This woman has superstar written all over her. She's a bona fide Broadway star, and "Emily in Paris" has served as her pivot into the zeitgeist. "Emily in Paris" is also showcasing her vocal prowess front and center this season, with her covering BTS, "All By Myself," "Sympathtique," and Marilyn Monroe. But the real standout performance is th

Appropriate Holiday Gift Ideas for the Single Lady

While some people may see it as a drag, there are plenty of benefits to being single during the holiday season. During this time of the year, there are tons of parties you can attend that you may not have had the opportunity to if you were in a relationship. There’s also not as much stress on you as a single gal during the holidays because you don’t have to shop for your partner and extended family members or stress over where to eat Christmas dinner. Not everyone sees the bright side of being fancy free during the holidays, and, tragically, they aren't afraid to let us single ladies know. Not only are single women subjected to even more harassment and ridicule during the holiday season, they’re also given the most obnoxious gifts by those who can’t comprehend how anyone can be both happy and single. Whether it’s a self-help book (desperately) trying to reinforce how great is to be single or the gift of a year-long subscription to Match.com , single women are presented with

Give JR a Break

Recently, I've been reading some sites that have criticized James Roday, the lead actor on the USA show PSYCH for an apparent weight gain. But you know what? Who gives a flying fizzle stick if James Roday is slightly larger than he was 4 years ago. Apparently, it wasn't enough to scare away his current girlfriend/ co-star Maggie Lawson. (Who is one hell of a Catch!) And NO they are not engaged. That seems to be nothing more than a rumor, but there is a very high chance of it happening in the near future. Anyway, as long as PSYCH continues to entertain I don't mind about James Roday's waist. He, and Dule Hill, and Corbin Bernson too, can eat all the fried broccoli they want. The last episode of PSYCH wasn't so smashing, but I don't blame it on dietary issues. QATFYG: Are you keeping up with Psych? And who is hotter, James Roday or Maggie Lawson? (Trick Question but idk why) PS: If you have heard any more news on Roday and Lawson becoming Roday-Lawson, send it

The Useless Critic 2.0

Search This Blog