The Useless Critic 2.0

Last Friday, March 18, ageless queen Gwen Stefani finally released her long-awaited third solo studio album, This Is What the Truth Feels Like , her first in almost ten years. Damn, I can't believe it's been a decade since The Sweet Escape ! Last October, following her highly publicized divorce from her husband of 13 years, Gavin Rossdale, Gwen dropped the emotional lead single "Used to Love You." Given its confessional nature, I instantly expected the album to include lots of angsty, lovelorn ballads in the vein of " Early Winter " (one of the best ballads of all time ), " 4 in the Morning ," and " Don't Speak ." The following month, after weeks of speculation, Gwen confirmed she was in a relationship with her The Voice co-host Blake Shelton, which would inevitably become an additional source of inspiration for her upcoming album. I'm still not quite sure how I feel about these two being an item. Blake is actually kind of...

Checked out VIVA PHOENIX last night with some friends. It's Phoenix's version of SXSW. I've been following it since it started in 2014, and each time I've went, I've had a lot of fun. Last year, some guy hit on me at a Coolio concert and tried to get me to come to the Andrew WK show afterward. I stopped having fun around that time and went home. This year? Nothing exceptionally weird, except I did lose something (which makes me very sad). If someone out there has the thing that I lost, please please please PLEASE return it to me. Here are some highlights, musically speaking, from this up-and-coming festival in Phoenix. I kind of hate myself for using the phrase "up-and-coming" in the previous sentence TBH. Crystal Castles w/ New Frontwoman Alice Glass left Crystal Castles in 2014, and was replaced with Edith Frances. Here's a fun fact - Edith Frances has a lot of weird theories behind her existence. There's been a lot of beef between Alice an...

  In college, I fell in love with the then three-person band, School of Seven Bells. They were an emerging dream pop band, formed as a side project for Alejandra Deheza, her twin sister Claudia - both from On!Air!Library! and Ben Curtis, once of The Secret Machines. 2008 brought their debut album, "Alpinisms," still their best effort IMHO.   I heard "iamundernodisguise" and was immediately hooked on the band.      Like, so hooked I sent the song to the girl I was courting and was like "ZOMG have you listened to this?!" Sometimes I like to think my excitement about music must be endearing to my friends and family, but who the hell really knows.   But how could I *not* be excited? School of Seven Bells were (was?) unlike anything I had heard before. It was so new and so powerful. And so honest? There was something genuine and pure about their music. In a world of overproduced and overglossed sounds, it was finding a warm place to ...

The title for Garbage's upcoming sixth studio album, Strange Little Birds , was revealed last month (seriously, how the hell did I miss this??), but today that the alt rockers have shared further details. The follow-up to 2012's Not Your Kind of People will be released on June 10. Check out the cover art and track listing below. 1. Sometimes 2. Empty 3. Blackout 4. If I Lost You 5. Night Drive Loneliness 6. Even Though Our Love Is Doomed 7. Magnetized 8. We Never Tell 9. So We Can Stay Alive 10. Teaching Little Fingers to Play 11. Amends Um, I'm not sure what to make of the cover—moss green is not a very aesthetically pleasing color, to be honest. I do love those song titles, though. I know I'm going to play the shit out of "Empty" and "Even Though Our Love Is Doomed." Ugh, I can't wait! If you live in Europe, you're lucky, because the group ha ve also announced a batch of summer tour dates across the Old Continent. Since no tr...

YOU GUYS. MY FANFICTION. IT RETAINS ITS MANIFESTING ABILITIES. ACK. Fiona Apple?! ANDREW BIRD?!! Together. I can't. I can't. I literally can't even. *insert GIF of fainting woman* *fans self* *dies so, so, so many times* I still can't even. Hold please.   It's a pretty unconventional love song. And when I say "unconventional," I don't mean weird per se. I mean different. Like the melody is a little all over the place and the song doesn't really go where you expect it will go. But that's perfectly okay, because Fiona's voice (becoming more beautifully ragged with age) complements Andrew's flawlessly. Like, how were these two voices never paired together before? They seem meant for each other, like a hand and glove. Esp. toward the end, when they harmonize on the word "believer."   Andrew's latest album, "Are You Serious," will be out next month. Maybe, the next time he tours, he can bring Fio...