The Useless Critic 2.0

I love No Doubt. Always have, always will. You know this. This is one of my least favorite No Doubt songs, but I can still appreciate it this time of year. IF GOD CAME DOWN ON CHRISTMAS DAY, I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT'D HE SAY BTW this is the Gwen I fell in love with. Especially toward the end. I die; I just die.

Before you give me any problems whatsoever, Josh Groban's "Noel" album is a classic. I have it on Amazon. He kills "Ave Maria" in a way that gives me chills.  Christmas is Josh's TIME TO SHINE. I can't stand "You Raise Me Up" either or most of that inspirational new age-y stuff he does, but the boy kills at Christmas.  Plus, Josh Groban is an awesome guy and every so often I tweet to him.

First of all, this new direction she's going in. I quite like it! It seems more intense and less cerebral. It seems to draw on more of her amazing guitar skills- and it's a little disconnected and discombobulated, but in a cool way. ANNIE I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE BACK EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVE WHITE HAIR AND THAT IS WEIRD Her self-titled fourth album is being called (by her) "a party record you could play at a funeral." Good, because I always wanted that. She announced her ~tour dates~ for 2014. They are as follows: 02-13 Berlin, Germany - Postbahnhof 02-15 Amsterdam, Netherlands - Paradiso 02-17 Brussels, Belgium - Ancienne Belgique 02-18 Paris, France - La Cigale 02-20 London, England - O2 Shepherds Bush Empire 02-21 Manchester, England - Manchester Cathedral 02-22 Dublin, Ireland - Olympia Theatre 02-26 New York, NY - Terminal 5 02-27 Boston, MA - House of Blues 02-28 Philadelphia, PA - Union Transfer 03-01 Washington, DC - 9:30 Club 03-04 Saxap...

Sometimes, I am approached by bands. And I am inherently lazy so I ignore them. seriously typed in "sad middle-aged woman alone" and this came up. However, Los Angeles's recently formed Paperfox is an exception and I implore you to make them your exception as well. For fan of Arcade Fire, Arctic Monkeys, Capital Cities, Two Door Cinema Club. Put it through an Orange County tube and add a dash of 311. I know that seems like a weird combo, but that's where my thoughts went at least. They are planning on taking over the world starting with Silverlake (which they can have BTW. Take Williamsburg and Portland next). Keep your eye on these guys, though! They have some real talent. DRAKE!!!

Growing up, I adored Ryan Adams. If I had met him in high school, I probably would have slept with him. I can not be held responsible for the imagined happenings of my adolescence. This is an "old" Ryan Adams song, but he has become so prolific I can't keep up. However, the Parker he is referring to is his ex-girlfriend, Parker Posey. It's just a sweet little Christmas-themed song about how much he misses her at the holidays. This is from like 2002 or something. You read that? IT, OLD.  I wrote a similar Christmas song in elementary school called "Hey David Hyde Pierce, It's Christmastime." ;)

We all know Carrie Underwood's live "Sound of Music" was kind of a flop. This is because there will only ever be one Julie Andrews; we all KNOW that. Oh dear! However, SNL did an excellent job this past One Direction/Paul Rudd/"Anchorman"-crazy weekend parodying it. In fact, they even brought back Kristen Wiig as that freak with short arms to help parody it. You must watch this and you must enjoy this !!!! I admittedly have not been watching must SNL lately...give me time, dammit. I just started watching "Parks and Rec" again. Come back Ann Perkins! p.s. did you know Gwen Stefani's favorite movie is "The Sound of Music?" Food for motherfucking thought!

Not Just Because He's Dead - I think this is an okay Christmas song- certainly not my first choice. My sister adores this song, though. And, considering the anniversary of his death (33 years), I figured this was a fair choice. Not Celine Dion's heartless slaughter of it: Also, here is a John Lennon song I love, which came out roughly the same time he was killed: Oh, Yoko!