Courtney Cox: I have nothing better to do with my career. might as well make another one of these!
David Arquette: Is that okay baby? I'm going to be doing blow off the production tech de whole time. We have an open marriage, right?
Courtney Cox: Um. I have to make a phone call. (speed dial #6: Jennifer Aniston)
GHOSTFACE *watching in background*: WAHHHHHHH
Sarah Michelle Gellar: I totally died in one of these films and haven't been in much since. BRB I'M GONNA GET HACKED TO DEATH IN THE SHOWER NOW
*goes to shower*
*is hacked*
GHOSTFACE: Yes the shit is raw, comin at your door
Start to scream out loud, Wu-Tang's back for more.`
GHOSTFACE: AWHHHHHWWWWWWWW
David Arquette: Is that okay baby? I'm going to be doing blow off the production tech de whole time. We have an open marriage, right?
Courtney Cox: Um. I have to make a phone call. (speed dial #6: Jennifer Aniston)
GHOSTFACE *watching in background*: WAHHHHHHH
Sarah Michelle Gellar: I totally died in one of these films and haven't been in much since. BRB I'M GONNA GET HACKED TO DEATH IN THE SHOWER NOW
*goes to shower*
*is hacked*
GHOSTFACE: Yes the shit is raw, comin at your door
Start to scream out loud, Wu-Tang's back for more.`
funeral scene
NEVE CAMPBELL: I was supposed to be giving an eulogy but all I feel like saying is I'm dating the guy from the Old Spice commercials. That's it. RIP Sarah, you were so good in Buffy.
Courtney: This all feels very 1997.
David: Right? Hold on baby, I'm going to go sleep with the florist.
Florist (think Michelle Rodriguez a la SLUT): HAY BB.
Courtney: (drawn-out middle aged white woman sigh)
Funeral Director (they do exist, don't they?): Everyone, please go to the mall for the funeral party. Justin Bieber will be performing.
THE CAST OF COUGAR TOWN: WHY?
Funeral Director: And please wear as little clothing as possible!
THE CAST OF COUGAR TOWN: OKAY. COMMUNITY IS SUCH A GREAT SHOW.
NEVE CAMPBELL: I'm also signing my new book at the local Border's! Doesn't anyone care?
BITCH, BORDERS CLOSED.
NEVE CAMPBELL: *sits behind a gravestone and cries*
Behind said gravestone, we see an Edinboro English student.
STUDENT: I come to this cemetary to get inspiration for my ~art~. Look at all the Linkin Park and Smashmouth I have on my ipod!
NEVE: Eww. (leaves in a Sedan)
GHOSTFACE: AWHHHHHWWWWWWWW
STUDENT: WUT! NO! I HAVEN'T FINISHED WRITING MY CESTINA!
*is hacked*
at the Ashtabula Mall
JUSTIN BIEBER: I'm here to make all the ladies feel real good and stuff.
DAVID ARQUETTE: Honey, I'm going to Hooter's and having a hooker sit on my face. Dat cool with you?
COURTNEY COX: Whatever; I'm sleeping with the whole cast of COUGAR TOWN.
DAVID ARQUETTE: I love you so much!
(while leaving, he runs into GHOSTY-FACE)
GHOSTFACE: I ain't killing you! You have a mustache! Go give a lucky stripper a ride with that!
DAVID ARQUETTE: Sweet!
note: I know they are waitresses, not strippers.
JUSTIN BIEBER: Baby, baby, baby....
GHOSTFACE: WAHHHHHHHHHHH SICK OF HEARING THIS SONG ON THE RADIO
JUSTIN BIEBER is hacked.
NEVE CAMPBELL is alone at a mall kisok.
NEVE: DOESN'T ANYONE CARE ABOUT MY GODDAMN SELF-HELP BOOK?
How to Exist in Hollywood With a Minimal Career and Date the Guy From the Old Spice Commercials.
ghost of DREW BARRYMORE: Hey I like died in the first Scream. Avenge my death, Neve! Avenge, like, IT!
NEVE: NO. GO BACK TO COVERGIRL.
DREW BARRYMORE: ooh right.
-
DREW BARRYMORE: ooh right.
-
COURTNEY COX: Ghostface, I need to go back to filming Cougar Town.
GHOSTFACE: NO ONE WATCHES YOUR SHOW BITCH WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
COURTNEY COX: *after slapping Ghostface* NOT TRUE JENNIFER ANISTON SO DOES.
slap slap slap
slap
COURTNEY COX: WHO ARE YOU ANYWAY? I THOUGHT WE CAUGHT YOU IN THE LAST INSTALLMENT.
GHOSTFACE: UM.
When Courtney rips off the mask of the Ghostface....
REBECCA BLACK?
COURTNEY: What? I thought you LOVED Justin.
REBECCA *sobs*: The internet hates me, and I am NOT dating the Old Spice guy.
COURTNEY: .......
(NOTE, I HAVE NOT SEEN ANY SCREAM MOVIES. HAHAHA)
good, now i don't have to see it.
ReplyDeletethe only ghostface killer i know is a member of the wu tang clan
ReplyDeleteI AM ONLY HERE TO HELP
ReplyDelete